PLs advice i am at a lost

last SG · 2005-03-14T21:05:29+00:00

Congrats!!its good that you have decided to move on..although the road ahead is hard..but you can do it and live happily if you want to..good luck and take c...

Ninestar SG

hi folks... last thursday i found out that my gf of 2 yrs is seeing a guy at her workplace for sometime. it happen when i was studying for my exams when they started going out. both of us are 24 this year. had plans to settle down. Met her on thursday night at her block downstairs. i waited for ard 1 hr b4 she came home on the bike the guy was riding. we sat down and talked. i ask her wat are her options. she say she has feelings for both of us and can only make a decision after her exams in march. the best part is she din tell the guy she is attached. as i didn't want it to drag on... we agreed upon being friends.but she did say that she enjoys being with the guy. as for me she din say anything. She goes out with the guy and she smses me to let me noe when she reach hme. I seriously donno wat i shld do? i kinda agreed to withdraw and gave my blessings to both of them. I seriously loved her and had talk about settling down with her. izzit because i am studying and the guy has a stable job? i really don't know but if its over, is she still considering starting over with me or just treating me as a friend. i don mind being friends. as love cannot be forced... been feeling kinda weird this few days. my friends and parents are kinda shocked to see me in this state. But for me life goes on... haizx

Pls Advice
Thanks

ptw SG

Hi, I have gone through the same thing or even worst thn you. I presume that you are a full time student. As for me, I am studying part time, working full time. M exy gf ran off with another guy with a bike when I am having my exam. I have posted all my anger in sgforum too.

My opinion is that if your gf cant determine what she wants in life, you have to let her go. Remember, do not give up on your studies, the earth is still moving and you will have to move on too.

Patrik SG

She aint worth ur time dude.

Nelstar SG

If she decides to go with the other guy, you have to tell her this,

Since you're leaving, don't come back. I'm not your hideout when you're in a bad spot. Once, you decided to go, then it's your choice, I won't stop you. Don't turn back, I won't be waiting for you, even if I am still single. And remember when you leave, don't ever use me to compare to him. You chose him, so you have to accept him for what he is.

Basically my advice for you is... get over it.

Ask her straight in her face if she wants out. If you can't bear her seeing another guy, then just force the answer out of her. Since she decides to two-time, she got to weigh the consequences.

Mr. Green

Seventh_Son SG

Its not easy to get over it...but still you still have to carry on moving....
walking Smile

[email protected] SG

I like nel's answer best.

M©+square SG

Chill my friend.

Everybody who came in AA have their fair share of problems.
And almost all problems are at their worst.
There is no way to compare whose is more worst than another.

We will eventually move on. The question is when. Wink

Cheers

RSP SG

If she loves you, why would she do something like this and hurt the person she loves. Maybe she does'nt know what she wants, Maybe she is'nt ready for the long time commitment you were hoping for.

Life has to go on. Try looking at it in a different angle. Maybe she is'nt the right one for you? Perhaps there is someone out there waiting for you to enter her life?

Every ending is a new beginning. We just don't know it at that time.

ptw SG

Hi M©+square, you are right, should not compare.

But the phases towards recovery is really miserable. Gather all your strentgh and move on.

Ninestar SG

thks guys for ur advice. but for me the betrayal of trust is the hardest to get over with. i have tried going out with friends etc… somehow memories start flowing back….tried sleeping to forgo the incident. can’t at all. yes i am studying full-time at SIM. the guy she is with has a diploma. i need time to prove my self…. i seriously want to move ahead, but somehow the way she treats me tells me she doesn’t even noe wat she wants….

fudgester SG

I know that it's hard for you to get over the break-up of a relationship.... all the more so when infidelity on her part is involved. All I can say is to move on with your life. It's heartening to see that you are indeed taking the initiative to do so by keeping yourself busy.

Seriously speaking, she isn't worth all your effort and attention. If in spite of all that you've done for her she runs off with another guy, my advice to you is to say goodbye and good riddance to her and go on with your life. If she can't decide between either you or that guy then that goes to show that she doesn't love you at all.

Walk away from her and don't look back. Even if she calls out to you, don't look back.... just run as fast as you can. There are many other girls out there more deserving of a fine young man such as you.

And indeed, you deserve someone far better than that poor-excuse-for-a-girlfriend.

ptw SG

Hi ninestar,

try reading this thread Advice...... which I have posted. I know its really difficult, tough and I have been thinking alot too for why my ex has done the same thing to me too. Like those who have advised me, it takes 2 hands to clap. If you ask me how to move on especially when I am currently studying and working, I may not be able t give you a definite answer. You have to be brave , look forward and notlooking back in the past for what you have done for her(as advised by sgforum friends).

One thing which I truely believe, time will heal the pain. As for now, you may be suffering with hurt and anger which you may think that you do not deserve such treatment, thinkabout your future, you are the only one who can shape your own future.

I must admit that I have not fully recover from that traumatic nightmare but I have learnt to move on. Thanks to all the sgforum friend who gave me their advices.

ptw SG

Hi ninestar,

try reading the thrad which I have psoted (Advice needed......, last posted date: 8 march 2005). I know its really difficult, tough and I have been thinking alot too for why my ex has done the same thing to me. Like those who have advised me, it takes 2 hands to clap. If you ask me how to move on especially when I am currently studying and working, I may not be able t give you a definite answer. You have to be brave , look forward and notlooking back in the past for what you have done for her(as advised by sgforum friends).

One thing which I truely believe, time will heal the pain. As for now, you may be suffering with hurt and anger which you may think that you do not deserve such treatment, thinkabout your future, you are the only one who can shape your own future.

I must admit that I have not fully recover from that traumatic nightmare but I have learnt to move on. Thanks to all the sgforum friend who gave me their advices. Wink

BrUtUs SG

since like this liao its better to leave. no point drag on. my guess is that she has loss interest in u liao.

Ninestar SG

thks ptw, i read the thread. sometimes i wonder how come guys get hurt and need so long to recover… FYI i kinda already bought a diamond ring b4 this happen… really at a lost…. felt like throwing the ring away… best part is she say she wanna meet me tonite… i really donno how to go about it… i wonder?? if her new boyfriend knew abt this wat would he do? i refer to withdraw out of this relationship but somehow i need more time….

ptw SG

Hi ninestar,

what you need is time to gather yourself together and decide whether is she worth it. Sorry, may be offensive to you but your scenario is almost the same as mine but at least she is willing to talk things out with you.

Unlike me, ganna stabbed multiple times by her new bf.

What I can advise you is that you need to stable yourself first, think it throughly before making the correct move. I can tell you that at your current situation, emotion may affect your decision.

I would say that by talking things out with her, since there is an opportunity, you can clarify things out with her throughly. As for me, I dont even have a single chance to talk things out with my ex before ending the r/s.

Endure this period of pain and soon enough, you will realise that its just another nightmare.

RyanKoh SG

Bro, if she is meant for you, she will come back to you…no matter where you run. If she is not, even both of you get married later, will end up in a separate ways. Sometimes is better to end now than later. Everything is predestined. Learn to let go….although is hard…..

Devil1976 SG

If she doesn't know what she wants, then you'll have to make the call and decision? Make it a quick and simple one... Afterall, you stil need to get on with your life....?

The ring... Pawn it or just keep it? Wink

alexkusu SG

Tell her its over..she’s using u as backup…obviously ur no.2 so tell her that ur leaving her….she’s taking u 4 granted….time does not matter…its not a reason 4 u 2 stay with her..if u do,u end up hurtin more.U deserve sumone better.

tan_william SG

since so much had been said by the others..no point saying anything more..let her go..find someone worthy of your love..as for the ring..sell it..or keep inside a box and hide it some where u will nv find..take care and good luck..