p1ll0w SG Actually such doubt shouldnt exist in the 1st place if the girl is already your gf The guy should have sort it all out before confirming the r/s ... it is like..if u mind she got tons of bf and not virgin blahh blaah..then the guy shouldnt accept her as gf... I mean once u accept her as gf..means all her history u should already know and ok with it (assuming the girl is honest ..which is hard hehehe )
parn SG Hahaha...yeah rite, guys will definitely mind if a girl has an ex bf regardless of his maturity level and age. But the ones that displayed it blatantly are always the Singaporean guys. Yes they are petty, and we are all petty creatures to be correct. Neither guys or girls are able to accept the fact if either one of them still maintains contact with their ex-gf/bf. Which girl can actually tolerate the fact that her bf still maintains friendly contact with his ex? I guess the reason behind our behaviour is solely due to our upbringing and our environment. Our society simply doesn't have the tolerance for this type of relations to co-exist in the first place, so we were brought up in that manner. One of the solution is to make sure that the guy is never restless in a relationship. Once a guy is restless, he will start looking at other girls or finding fault with his own girl or comparing his girl with other girl. So girls....keep him busy with your schedule, occasional quarrels, spontaneous behaviours and of cos...helping him stay on track with his ambitions and goals (If he has any). One of the biggest mistake that both guys and girls can make during a relationship is to start pointing fingers at each other. So if your bf/gf start to point finger or pick on you, the best way out is to ignore his/her nonsense until everything blew over and he/she has cooled down. Anyway good luck to your relationship, some Singaporean guys are difficult to be with...especially if they have a close mind.
InnoHippo SG perhaps, it is becos girls like to carry their ex-relationship concerns (such as distrust) into their new relationship and penalise their new bf
gerrykoh SG Honesty is very impt in a r/s. It is alright to tell abt previous bf but don't have to elaborate & reveal all the little details. Remember it is not good to badmouth your ex & compare with your present partner. It is very normal for one to have at least 1 or 2 past r/s esp. when one is in his/ her 20s. It is part of growing up & discovering what u like or dislike in a partner. U only worry if that person have many short term multiple r/s cos it means that something is wrong with him/her.
Devil1976 SG Personally, I won't mind at all.. In fact, I believe most of the guys I know won't mind too... For those who would mind.. I guess it can be that they are really 'traditional' (only in this aspect?); have some inferiority complex issues; immature in thinking; living in their own world; etc.. My policy and personal advice would be... "If you can't handle it, don't ask..." Well... Unless it's their gf who just can't help bringing up their ex in the 1st place..? Then that would be a different issue altogether...?
choco B SG If the girl is mindful of this , she doesn't have to lie about her past relationships If the guy is so sure his girl will do it before she even does it for real, then he has very little regard for her .
Devil1976 SG It's not about him being sure that she'll do just that...? Sometimes such things just happen... In fact can be rather common for some, depending on how a person would handle such relationship issues..? And... Not only girls do that.. Some guys tends to do that too.. Can say it's sort of 'human nature' for some...?
choco B SG My point is, if you know that you've got a bad habit of bringing up your ex, then try not to do it. Instead of lying that you have no ex. Of course everything depends on how people handle their relationships. I'd like to think that despite the bad experiences and horror stories, we'd be mature enough not to assume the worst of your partner, if he/she has not shown the negative trait yet. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, which is where this topic is at.
Ecxentrique SG I think it goes both ways.. Beoing honest from both sides and acceptance from the other.. Guys will probably mind if there is some extended relationship lurking in the background (ou duan si lian) kind and that if he is not convinced that the relationship is a secure one.. in that sense i guess there will be some form of insecurity. I do not think it is wrong that a guy should feel insecure cos at least it shows that he cares.. compared to one who can give you the "take it or leave it" attitude.. I dun think the girl will feel secure either.. but i digress.. I have a gf and she has an ex.. but i think she does convince me that it is dead... as in the relationship.. and there is really no contact between them.. so why should i want to bother about the past when all that matters is really the present and the future..
Devil1976 SG Yeah... Just it's just secondary nature for some people to make some of such assumptions of their new relationship... Strategy, expectation, conditioned... Whatever you would like to call it.. It happens...
Honeybunz SG Your friends must be very big hearted. Those women are so fortunate. Very hard to find men like that. Some of my guy friends don't even want to date divorcees. So narrow-minded, they all.
Honeybunz SG I know of this girl who has a lot of ex before. Her most recent bf complain to me. He said that after a meal, he would offer her tissue, by pulling out one piece from the pack. She said "Last time my bf would fold it nicely before giving to me" He was sooooo hurt.
ShrodingersCat SG i think.. a girl who is so insensitive as to bring up her ex when her current bf give her a TISSUE she's got ISSUEs thats non-tissue related. some girls LIKE to tell people they have a lot of ex cos it makes them sound 'desirable' like WA so many bfs but I dump them all type of mentality. But for the general matured enough person... where previous relationships that didnt work out meant a failure, and a learning experience having previous rships to learn from may save a lot of problems in the current relationship. I dont talk much about my 'past' with the husband, but I do explain to him that whatever happened in the past, it made me who I am today - someone who will treasure him for who he is, and cherish the relationship that we both share and my value and priority system. I think as long as the guy is confident and secure enough, who cares. Ultimately it is he who lasts the longest (heheh) that matters.
Devil1976 SG Precise. Then who's fault is it? That guy should go... "Last time my gf even have to wipe my mouth for now..." Ask your gf to wake up lah. Today is 24/02/2005. DRILL THAT INTO HER HEAD.
mistyblue SG there is also danger of having too many ex-es There was this person I know who was the number 11th BF for this girl. She just could not decide what she wanted and she's always looking for the next better one. So eventually they just broke up. OK and I laff in his face! ha!
