The particular lessons that have to be learned before the next
spiritual level is reached define the particular type of
relationship that is chosen to achieve it. Some
relationships show with at least one of the partners becoming love
addicts in their relationship to the point of not being able to
move out despite personal damage or have the feeling of being
"stuck", which in itself also brings personal damage, the needed
lesson to solve their karma may be to realize they are seeking love
from outside themselves when the real issue is to love
themselves, or realize well that the relationship means
loving and being loved at the same time. We do not talk of real
love here, we refer to staying in a relationship for different
reasons, like fear of personal image or other personal loss, or a
mind make up that hasn't become conscious for the person.
Other relationship karma occur with the partners playing either one
the role of victim or victimizer, persecutor or persecuted, rescuer
or rescued. These type of karma is usually brought by wrong and
rigid ideas about control in the relationship of one or both of the
partners. The set of beliefs that accompany this type of
relationship hold both persons back from growing spiritually and
emotionally. The end of the relationship, the suffering, and the
social rejection that is involved may bring the necessary learning
for both.
Relationships where one of the partners is dependent upon the other
bring power issues that are common in relationship karma. The power
issues tend to be solved usually by the side of the dependent, and
tensions appear when it is time for the dependent to take back the
power he or she gave up in the relationship. The power struggle
brings a learning for both parts
Retributive karma is another relationship type of karma. It
involves a compensation for the person that was betrayed or
rejected without regard for hurt feelings in a past life.
The partner who betrayed or rejected the other in a past
life may find in the actual life that he/she is betrayed or
rejected by the other. This type of karma lesson doesn't
by itself means a separation or deep emotional scars because of the
reparation aspect. The lesson may be here about the importance of
being loyal and/or handling rejection toward others in this and
future lives.
Other relationship karma may involve patterns of infidelity or
betrayal. The needed lesson for this may be the experience after
the infidelity is discovered by the other and the hurt feelings
raising negative intensity into the relationship, the abandonment
of the relationship by the betrayed one, and even the abandonment
by the third person involved to avoid responsibilities or other
potential problems. The learning with this may be about sincerity
in the relationship, recognize and solve the communicational
mistakes, the lack of understanding of the needs of the other, or
simply to recognize wrong relationships.