Need Advice :( ??

last SG · 2005-02-11T00:24:18+00:00

I waited for a guy (while he was unattached but liked other girls) for a a few yrs... I was always there everytime he needs to talk. At the end of it all, he...

joai28 SG

hey guys...i would like to hear your views on my problem. I do hope you guys be patient with what i'm gonna say Smile . I'm currently interested in one of my close female frenzs, but sadly she's attached. Couple of wks ago, I told her about how i feel after 6 mths of bottling my feelings up. Intially, i wasn't really expecting anything by telling her the truth but to actually make feel me better and move on since she has a bf. However after i have told her the truth, she would call me everyday and we somehow grew closer. But i oso realise that this isn't getting anywhere. Hence, i asked for her opinion later on, she told me that she's isn't the type who would get into relationship without knowing the person for a long time. ( apparently, we know each other for abt a yr n i like her abt 6 mths ago) haizz...i realise that all she wants frm the start is attention rite ?? Recently, she only calls me when she needs someone to confide in her problems. She hardly asked anything about me like how i have doing but all she mentioned was what problems she facing n how she has been doing.

Well, another pt to add is that she has all along been keeping her options open though she's with her bf. She purposely refused to tell other ppl that she's attached for self reasons. well, guys what opinions do u have ?

needles SG

She's not a good girl.

But that's just me.

Wink

joai28 SG

haha...hey i think so too, "needles". i guess i was blinded by my affection her then. I failed to understand her well and ended up hurting myself. Actually she's pretty good as a frenz lar. Just that she's just too attention seeking ( she herself admits so) and probably too selfish, do you guys think so? well, i tried not to have any negative feelings about her intially because it would seem i'm being petty after rejection, but somehow, i began to analyse the situation and realise perhaps i have been made used by her whenever she needs attention Sad

needles SG

Some people are just like that.

Anyway,
any girl that doesn't acknowledge her relationship with her current bf, just so she could leave herself open to better 'opportunities', isn't worthy.

And I believe many are guilty of this.

Rolling Eyes

just_a_boy SG

I’ll not love my gf if she doesn’t acknowledge her relationship with me.. What’s the point of loving her so much when she’s still keeping herself l open to better opportunities..

Fuqua SG

SHE cheated on her bf.
YOU are a selfish brat for going after her knowing she has a bf.

you two deserve each other.

icyprincess SG

she sounds like my ex crush. except that I am a girl and my ex crush is a guy. he only came to me when he needs help with his problem, well he still does now, but it is better when dealing with people like this, to keep your hopes and expectations as low as possible. It is better if both of you can remain as frens.

i.c.y

Otingocni SG

I think she's great. In this era, this day,

Loyalty does not equate to a good marriage.

Thus, she gave herself options and choices.
My applause.

Sorry guys, you guys are always leaving your options open, so why not?

wishhunter SG

nbzzz….both of you are make for one another…....be together and dump one another after

icebaby0 SG

I would say to forget abt this gal.
Seriously if she can go around telling pple she is not attached or doesn't disclose it. She can also do it to u if u are attached to her. Make sense?

End up, there won't be any trust in the r/s.

mistyblue SG

If you don't mind your life being put on hold everytime she has a problem
If you enjoy the girl treating you as a shoulder for her to cry on
And you also don't mind wasting a couple of years with no future perhaps
And you also don't mind being used

You're the best judge of how you wanna spend your time and make of your life. Be careful with people who play with your heart.
I don't advice on putting up with people who play hearts.

Dv8tor SG

harsh, baby...harsh. But true.

SunRisE SG

Well.. There are many kinds of people in this world.. What opinions do you wish to know.. i believe you already have the answers yourself.. but you jus wanna make sure whether you're making the right move anot.. I will suggest that you both stay as friends better than as an item...

She knows how you feel towards her.. To say it bluntly.. she's taking you for granted.. She likes to be in the centre of attraction of everyone.. That includes you too! She likes being loved by people.. and get all the care and concerns from people too.. Like what you mentioned.. she's a attention seeker.. what is the reason of her refusing to tell anyone about her relationship?? Is it really that awful or bad?? If she were to be with you.. would you also experience such things too.. Since you know how she's like.. If you really wanna be with her.. you have to withstand her doings.. llike what she did to her bf... and to you..

Stay as friends would be the best choice for you both.. They only look for you for a reason.. cos she knows that you definitely will not reject her in any ways.. Cos reason simple.. You like her!

Cheers.. Wink

niceguy_123 SG

Laughing

Such kind of girl doesn't deserve your love. Go ...go to someone else.

The facts are already posted b4. How can some1 be so vain. Already attached still deny.. what is she up for ? u say Mad

If u now "pa-tor" with her then another girl ask u attach? U said "no haven't"...Then what do you think you heart is telling you?

haha... Mr. Green

No result one lah... forever you are looking...

shirurinu SG

well.. i can understand y she did it. People always wanted to be with the best. Mayb she did love her bf, but felt he wasn't the one. So she wanted to keep her options open. When she found someone whom she really felt he's the one, she will not keep a lookout anymore.

my 2 cents worth... coz it's my own experience

BrUtUs SG

well if since she call u, talk to her lor... tink shes wan to do some flirting... oso keep ur options open...

Qitai SG

If you want her, expect to wait long long (> 8 years) before any hope of marriage. Also, even if she agrees to be with you as gf, expect that she may still break up with you if she finds a better option.

Is that what you want?

_Aaron_ SG

I don't think she's taking her relationship seriously for now.
That's why she's not declaring her status, and looking out for better guys.

Quite a lot of people do it, they look for a boyfriend, or may already be in a relationship, but at the same time, they're looking for a wife/husband.

Some people who are good boyfriend/girlfriend material may not be a good husband/wife.

What advice can i give at this stage?

Depending on whether you want to endure the emotional turmoil that will continue to take place for some time.. you could:

1) Prove yourself to be the alpha male, and BE that husband material.
2) Give up and look for another girl

There are many other options too, but i'm just listing a few. Hope you can clear your mind soon~

Devil1976 SG

Friend is good. Until she shows that she's not suitable for it, then forget the whole thing lor... Rolling Eyes

AngGuKuay SG

ha~ we actually have the same problem. except tt i have yet to tell the ger about my feelings for her… maybe i shall tell her the truth also… but she is definately screwing my life….