confused

felicia341 SG

i am just a normal secondary school girl who likes a guy who is at the same music school as me...let me call him X.X is the boss's son of the music sch so i always see him around as he teaches there, though he is only now a poly sudent.
i remember seeing him back from when i was in primary school. but i din realli noe him back then and we din talk. when i was in primary sch, i din have that kind of feelings back then.
when i was in sec 2. i asked for his email thru my piano tchr who was pretty gd frens with him.he gave me.and i was devastated when i saw his nick with his gf's name, and his display pic-he and his gf. so i knew that i couldnt go between them.but still i held the hope that he would one day break up with his gf.but i will never do anything to separate them though.
we chatted many times thru msn.but after that i was getting tired.because all the while, i was the one making conversation with him.he never talked to me first before.and the conversation was always about me asking him something and he would just reply.and he says nth else.
we would bump into each other every wk at the music sch.i was always happy.we talked to each other, but it was always abt me juz asking him abt music questions. and nth else.i realised that maybe our age gap was realli too big. and we have nth in common to talk about.except music.
i am sometimes confused abt what he does. firstly, i noe he will always peep at my music studio whenever he passes by.my tchr says it is because of me.i dunno y he does that.and anyway, abt 9 mths later i knew X, he broke up with his gf. till now, i still dunno the reason. i guessed it when he first changed his nick for the first time to his name only instead of his name and his gf's name. and he changed his pic too. i told my doubts to my tchr and she asked him indirectly when i was not arnd. and he said he broke up with her already.
and i was happy.he was the one that intiated the breakup to his gf.but now.i find that there is still no advancement.
once i tried ignoring him when he was online for abt one whole wk. and he talked to me. i was overjoyed. but when i saw the conversation, it was juz him asking me to go to a concert that he was performing in.he never talked to me once b4 and talked to me the first, only abt his concert.i feel that i am nothing but a friend to him only.
maybe i am realli just wasting my time on him
he's going for ns soon.
i dunno if i should wait for him.and i think it would be a fruitless wait too.
i dunno.his actions are contradictory.sometimes his actions shows me that he like but sometimes not. so i am confused.
i have even got his hp no.he sent it to me thru email and a lot of ppl, saying that he could be contacted thru that no if any of them or me wants to book the tickets for the concert.
i think i am juz a nobody to him.but i dun want to be juz that. i am afraid that if i tell him my feelings he wil avoid me and there will be awkwardness when we meet in the sch. so what should i do.

ditzy SG

A nobody will be a nobody until the nobody becomes somebody. Laughing

droopyeyes SG

if u feel that after u confess ur feelings to him, he will avoid u.. then dun tell.

unless u're all ready to sacrifice what u've now.. that is.. having him as ur friend

Ledikusa SG

felicia.. do u tink u r pretty? do u tink u r good enough for him? do u tink he cares about u when maybe he is tinking this way about u too? .. too many qns? Make the first move then... Every1's always waiting for the other party to make a move first.. Whenever u r going out in a group, u could ask him along.. Whenever u r feeling down u could call him out.. im sure he will be more than willing to listen... Maybe u could try composing some music.. Ask him to be ur personal critic... After that, to thanks him, write a song for him.. There are so many alternatives my dear sister.. As the saying goes, The higher your hopes, the more painful the crash. Hope for it, do what u can, leave the rest to god..
Felicia.. Love is an experience that you would sometimes really dread, or feel blissful, If u had never experience be4 love, i would say, go aheard.. But.. Keep in mind the mundane problems that come with a attached status.. The Guy that u like is going to NS soon.. U won't Be Able to see him most of the time.. He may be stressed by the Vigourous training... And may show u the least of love... I emphasise,,, MAY... Dun be scared of the consequences.. Which may be pain, hatred, anger, sadness, jealousness, nor any other emotions.. let those be expected.. Have confidence in urself.. Always tink positive.. Dun let ur life be bogged down jus becuz a guy doesnt take ur hints... U always have ur friends, families, Etc.. sighz.. well, i really wish that u will succeed in wadever step u choose to make next... TAke care alrightZ? Nitez SisZ

Yunhaier SG

Likely, he wouldn't even have expected it; your liking that's it. Throughout the post, it is rather clear that you both are mantaining clean, normal friendship.

Nothing else.

And of course, if Cupid didn't fire arrows at him for the initial attraction, he would probably only see you as a causal friend.

If you wanna express yourself and hope for a relationship to occur, the result would be crazy and you are likely to fail, base on your current pace. (And even if he would accept the proposal, this relationship has high risk of failing as well - calculated on external and internal aspects).

You can start improving beyond that of a causal friend by initial conversation outside music. The topic MUSIC is only an excuse to speak - you have to go beyond that if you desire to understand him and connect into his frequency. It seemed to me that your friendship is raw, despite knowing him some time. Try to 'cook' it, so at least it would be easily to 'eat', then to risk swallowing and puke. Idea

Cheers

droopyeyes SG

nice one Laughing

felicia341 SG

it's obvious that i like him.and i think he knows that. who would approach a stranger for his email? of course to know him better. i think he should have known by then that i was attracted to him.
till now though, i still dont know what i like abt him.i dunno if i like his personality or looks or whatever.

And of course, if Cupid didn't fire arrows at him for the initial attraction, he would probably only see you as a causal friend.

If you wanna express yourself and hope for a relationship to occur, the result would be crazy and you are likely to fail, base on your current pace. (And even if he would accept the proposal, this relationship has high risk of failing as well - calculated on external and internal aspects).

You can start improving beyond that of a causal friend by initial conversation outside music. The topic MUSIC is only an excuse to speak - you have to go beyond that if you desire to understand him and connect into his frequency. It seemed to me that your friendship is raw, despite knowing him some time. Try to 'cook' it, so at least it would be easily to 'eat', then to risk swallowing and puke.

well, maybe he does really treats me as a casual friend only. but i can feel an awkwardness when we meet.and my friend once said that even if we were to go into a relationship, it is most likely to fail. because we have nth in common to talk abt.
how do i connect to his frequency? i dunno how to.
and. do guys always let the girls make the first move first?
my fren said yes.she said that u have to spurn the guy on first.does this applies to all guys?

starExcaliblur SG

[[quote]Originally posted by felicia341:
[b]it's obvious that i like him.and i think he knows that. who would approach a stranger for his email? of course to know him better. i think he should have known by then that i was attracted to him.
till now though, i still dont know what i like abt him.i dunno if i like his personality or looks or whatever.

Email is so common nowadays, even a primary school kid may have one. Well, if a girl in my workplace approach me 4 my email, I would jus give without raising my eyebrows cos email is so common nowadays.

btw, y still ask him 4 email address, ask him 4 icq #, yahoo messenger , MSN contact or hp #, then u can chat n get to know him better.

Yunhaier SG

Originally posted by felicia341:
it's obvious that i like him.and i think he knows that. who would approach a stranger for his email? of course to know him better. i think he should have known by then that i was attracted to him.
till now though, i still dont know what i like abt him.i dunno if i like his personality or looks or whatever.

[b]And of course, if Cupid didn't fire arrows at him for the initial attraction, he would probably only see you as a causal friend.

If you wanna express yourself and hope for a relationship to occur, the result would be crazy and you are likely to fail, base on your current pace. (And even if he would accept the proposal, this relationship has high risk of failing as well - calculated on external and internal aspects).

You can start improving beyond that of a causal friend by initial conversation outside music. The topic MUSIC is only an excuse to speak - you have to go beyond that if you desire to understand him and connect into his frequency. It seemed to me that your friendship is raw, despite knowing him some time. Try to 'cook' it, so at least it would be easily to 'eat', then to risk swallowing and puke.

well, maybe he does really treats me as a casual friend only. but i can feel an awkwardness when we meet.and my friend once said that even if we were to go into a relationship, it is most likely to fail. because we have nth in common to talk abt.
how do i connect to his frequency? i dunno how to.
and. do guys always let the girls make the first move first?
my fren said yes.she said that u have to spurn the guy on first.does this applies to all guys?[/b]

Maybe I didn't explain myself clearly; the only way you could tap into this frequency and source for some form of familiarity OR connection would be to expand your range and scope of conversation outside music.

And no, it doesn't apply to all - not all guys are passive-motivated in relationship. He is probably doing it because, as mentioned, he probably only sees you as a causal friend and there is NO cause or motivation why he should initiate anything in the first place. Unless throughout the journey of friendship, something stuck him and he realise that he is falling in love with you - expect nothing.

Basically if my first paragraph didn't take place - nothing much should change. Idea

Cheers