When i speak about being nice.. it's not that I'm telling you to
stop caring for the girl u love. I'm reminding u not to miss out
one important factor that women need. It's the factor of -
Attraction.
Women may tell you, "Oh, I love my guy.. he's nice." What does this
means? It doesn't means that the guy is nice in a way u think of.
Women feel attracted to a guy because there's chemistry. And
chemistry is a feeling of attraction. It is either there or it
isn't. The word "nice" doesn't means "doing everything for her"
kind of meaning. It means building an atmosphere of
attraction.
Here're some examples on how attraction works on women: -
AN INTERESTING STORY (OR SO)...
There are two basic stories for how men and women "start off"
together, and two basic stories for how men and women "end
up".
Through all of time, I'm sure that men and women have been playing
out these stories... and I'm sure that they'll continue to play
them out long into the future (that is, unless I have something to
say about it... and I do).
THE MEETING STORIES
Here's "Meeting Story #1":
Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy doesn't have a clue
about how to make girl feel ATTRACTION for him... so instead he
tries to "pursue" girl by
offering her dinners, gifts, and flowers. Girl finds boy "nice",
but there are no "sparks", so she "just likes him as a
friend".
Here's "Meeting Story #2":
Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him, boy understands
ATTRACTION, and begins to communicate with girl in a way that makes
her feel a powerful
physical and emotional response for boy that she can't control. The
sparks fly, and boy and girl "get together".
As I'm sure you know...
In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation, and both of
them know it.
In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the
situation.
THE STORIES OF HOW THINGS "END UP"
Let's assume that somehow boy and girl actually "get together".
Things usually go one of two ways after that...
Here's "End Up Story #1":
Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he "REALLY likes"
girl. Boy begins to act more and more predictable. Boy starts to
share "how he feels" about girl too often. Boy becomes more and
more submissive. Girl loses that feeling of ATTRACTION that she
once had for boy, and has no way of explaining or understanding
why. Girl leaves boy, and boy is left wondering what
happened.
Here's "End Up Story #2":
Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that no matter how much
he likes girl, he cannot let himself become a Wussy who chases girl
around "sharing how he feels" and become boring. Boy keeps the
relationship
interesting, and he keeps challenging girl. He stays in control of
himself, and by understanding his role as "The Man" in the
relationship, keeps girl interested and attracted to him into the
future.
And again, as I'm sure you know...
In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation, and both of
them know it.
In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the
situation.
If you look at your experience with women, I'm sure you'll see that
these short stories describe MOST of the experiences you've
had.
Now, of course there are slight twists and variations, but the
message is clear:
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FOR WOMEN...
AND HOW TO KEEP THE ATTRACTION GOING WHEN YOU MEET
A WOMAN YOU REALLY LIKE.
If you don't understand ATTRACTION and how it works, then you are
destined to keep playing out these same stories for the rest of
your life. It's very unlikely that you'll stumble upon the "magic
solution" by accident...
ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR MEN -- VERY
DIFFERENT
The reality is that you CAN stop this negative pattern if you WANT
to.
But the key is:
1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.
2) Understanding YOURSELF so you don't ALLOW yourself to act like a
Wussy, become boring, and turn a good thing into a bad one... but
instead you do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the right
track.
If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you
can control your destiny with women. If you DON'T know how to make
a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your
destiny with
women.
Read that paragraph again, and think about it for a minute before
you go on.
OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very different for women than
it is for men.
How different? What do I mean by that?
Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS...
not an "event". It happens over time, and it becomes stronger or
weaker depending upon how well the man in the situation understands
how it works.
For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an "event", meaning that it's
either there or it isn't. It really doesn't matter whether or not
the woman understands how it works. (As an interesting side note,
if a woman
really knows how ATTRACTION works, and her intention is to
manipulate a man, it usually works VERY well.)
So think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism" more like a volume
knob than a light switch.
It's like a fantastic, classy old car that needs to warm up for a
long time before you can drive it... not like a brand new Honda
that you can start up and get right on the freeway with.
Here's a little secret about women and ATTRACTION: If you'll just
take a little longer in every situation to AMPLIFY a woman's
ATTRACTION, she'll love you for it... and you'll experience rewards
that will make the extra time you spent seem like the best
investment of your entire life.
Here are a few specific tips for you for the "Meeting Phase":
1) Start with something STRONG, not with something
WEAK.
When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usually turns into a ball
of nervous mush. Then, he usually makes the mistake of letting the
woman KNOW that he's nervous and weak.
Don't do it.
Do something STRONG.
Challenge her.
If she thinks that she's cool, make fun of her. If she's smart,
argue with her a little. If she's doing something, tell her that
you could do it better.
When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE, she'll push back.
That's your sign that the GAME IS ON.
If you just chase after her like the 100 other Wussies that have
been bothering her this week, you will just be another boring,
predictable face in the crowd.
2) Keep the TENSION UP.
One of my favorite concepts is "Never let the line go slack".
This means that once you SPARK the "chemistry" or "sexual tension",
you need to KEEP IT UP.
Just because she starts doing things that hint to you that she's
interested doesn't mean that it's time to STOP. Quite the opposite,
actually.
Turn UP the volume a little. It's working, so do more!
3) Tease.
The word "tease" has a couple of meanings.
One of the meanings has to do with doing things that are slightly
annoying to get a response from someone.
The other meaning is subtly different, and has to do with drawing
out a response that you want by doing certain things that
indirectly trigger it.
Do both.
If you're about to kiss her, wait until your lips are so close that
you can almost feel her... and then STOP. Pull away, and
smile.
If you want to know how she feels about you, say "You LOVE me" in a
condescending tone of voice, and see how she responds. If she says
"NO I DON'T!" in an exaggerated, mocking way, then she probably
DOES "love" you.
Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it.
And here are a few tips for the "End Up" phase:
1) Never become BORING.
Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin when it comes to
ATTRACTION.
Don't do either.
Of course, telling a man not to be predictable is like telling a
dog not to hump your leg.
Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable.
We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it.
But when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you'd better figure out a
way to STOP IT.
There's nothing that will kill the sparks faster than her knowing
what you're about to do or say.
2) Don't hand over control.
Women like men who make decisions and take the lead. Now, I'm not
saying that women like men who are overly controlling. What I am
saying is that women don't like guys who are always saying things
like "I don't know, what do YOU want to do, baby?".
Women don't want men that they can control, so don't be one.
3) Respect yourself, and keep your own interests.
When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often wants to spend as much
time as possible with her.
This is natural, of course.
But there's a big danger here, as well.
If you put your life aside for a woman, you will become less
interesting to HER.
In the long run, it's MUCH better to keep your friends, your
interests, and your hobbies, and to spend time doing the things you
enjoy... WITHOUT
HER.
And I think it's VERY important to keep improving yourself as a
person, and continue to be a guy that she can look up to and
respect.
As soon as you start acting like she's going to be around forever,
she'll start feeling less and less ATTRACTION for you.
Oh, and trust me brother, when you can make a woman feel attraction
for you, there's nothing she can do about it. 'Cos, she DOESN'T
even know how come..
Hope these will help u. Good luck!
yours sincerely,
S.H.I.N.
