Long term relationship

doomz SG

Many frzs tend to envy me cos i have found someone i love and my other half also love me..

First few day,weeks n months the love is so strong!!Everyday die die must meet....but after a few yrs,we tend to take each other for granted.

After a few yrs of relationship i think commitment is the only thing tat keep the relationship going on...anyone agreE?

Cos my gf told me the love we have is not strong compare to the days we first met,i am scare tat she will leave me 1 day but she say is normal,she say she only looking forward to start a family... Crying or Very sad

How do i make her love me more?We still meet each other frequently but she seldom hug me as often as b4

Commitment means being
faithful
loyal and planning to have a family....

starlightz SG

wat i can say is that, look she said she is looking forward to start a family with u right? dun think too much, she dun hug u as much, but u can still hug her right?

_Aaron_ SG

The flame in your relationship is dying.
You need to rekindle it.

Start with doing romantic things all over again, dress up nice when you go out with her, and if you have sex, try to pleasure her more.

Bring her out for candlelight dinners, walks in beaches, etc.

Key word = Rekindle the flame!

gentlerock SG

Hi,

Sorry to hear of your situation, but its very normal for all relationships - the fire will die down, but the important thing is to keep the flame alive and not let it die completely.

I find that spending time away together in a different environment helps. I don't know how old you are, but from personal experience, going for a short trip helps. Doesn't have to be an expensive or extravagant.....just some beach resort in Malaysia (important: south of Penang hor?) will do. You're lucky in the sense that you can take advantage of the many holidays which are imminent.

Whatever you do to keep your relationship alive should be done willingly and not seen as a chore. If you feel that its really troublesome and find it a big chore trying to fan the flames, then maybe the relationship is not worth saving (sorry).

Yunhaier SG

To one who earns $20k a month and suddenly experienced a decrease in income to $6K, he would probably felt that he probably cannot survive anymore - due to the huge discrepancy between the two figures.

But is that the case? There are many who could never earn up to $6K a month and they are still surviving well.

***

Pray do tell me how you judge the quantity of love in your relationship? You took your honeymoon period as a basis of how much love was? And now that all was calm and you felt that love was gone?

Passion may suffer a little dip, but certainly not love.

Love always evolve, because as time moves and our expectation changes, everything would be different. The kind of love she has, has transformed into security and future planning and not the kind of lovey-dopey thingy you two had years back. In fact, only conscious effort would allow you to upkeep such passion in relationship - but as you have mentioned, the relationship has been running rather smoothly and uneventfully, and causes this conscious effort to wane gradually. Painfully true - only lessons and obstruction are remembered and worked on.

In CloUdiSm, under Love Eco-Cycle, every relationship will strike a peak where growth is at its least. Our first step into every relationship is to try and lengthen the stage of Honeymoon and drag as much during the second stage of Growth. We must grow with our relationship and not expect our relationship to move as a separate entity.

Do not let fear discourage you.

In fact, serve it as a motivation and time to work onto your relationship.

Nothing is dead until declared.

Fight for your relationship and strive to improve. Idea

Cheers

keuriseudo SG

I agree with Aaron.

That's why it's so important for a guy not to lose the "charm" with a woman. Start taking her out for dinner, and do all sorts of romantic stuffs. But do remember to keep her in anticipation at all times. Anticipation will generate more attraction a woman will feel towards you. Slowly, take your time, this is a process, not a wave of a magic wand!

What do I mean by keeping her in anticipation?

Simple. Take for instance, if it comes to the part when you are about to kiss her, try this - Lean forward until your lips are so close to touching hers, pause for a few seconds, then pull away, and finally, wait for a couple of seconds more before moving in again to kiss. Get the picture?

Hold on, I didn't ask, "Get the Logic?". I asked, "Get the picture?" Cool

Now, I'll leave you to take some immediate action. Best of hope! Wink

yours sincerely,
S.H.I.N.

Devil1976 SG

Love would grow from one stage to another...

In the beginning, love would often be felt as strong. Often than not, some people would fail to realise (as in your case?) that love grows into different stages... Rather than only 'worshipping' your love and glorifying it alone (which would only create a form of delusion on how love of yours should be judged), you should also note the change in various needs and requirements in a relationship...

I suspect both of you could be young if not relatively immature in the handling of your relationship.

Commitment is not the only thing which would keep a relationship going, though often it's an important if not essential factor.

Try not to of things like 'how to make her hug me more' and such... It's really quite pointless... If she loves you, she'll naturally hug you more and such if that's her way of expressing her love for you..

Appreciate her... Teach her how to love and share this relationship meaningfully with you AFTER you've learnt how to yourself...

Take some time to read through Yun's post... Though I feel that it's not really 'complete' but it's really quite a good post...