i m sort of in the same boat as u. but not really the
same.
I m happily engaged to my fiance last yr thru 3yrs of courtship.
However, our problem usually lies with his mum. She simply loathes
me, is wat i cud say.
In the beginning of our r/s, his mum is so nice towards
me.....until she found out tat i m merely a diploma holder.......
she tends to compare his cousin's gf with me whom had juz got her
degree. and even says tat she's very nice and polite; which I
always felt unfair.
my problem is whenever i greeted her(eg. good morning, or
addressing her when we are having meals....etc), she nv even reply
once in these 3yrs+. whenever my fiance is not around, she will
grab the chance to nag at me, grumble and gives me a tongue
lashing.
once she had a heated argumentl with my fiance, cuz he's trying to
clear our room. She had no idea wat we were doing then and thought
we were messing up the house...blah blah blah. In the end, when he
went for his shower, I stayed in the room and dun dare to walk
out(fearing tat she has something to scold me again). However, i
still couldn't run away from it. She didn't even knock the door and
barged in.
She accused me tat it's always because of me tat makes them
quarrel, i was dumbfounded and of cuz i kept quiet like i always
do.
In the house, there's lots of restrictions like i cannot keep my
shoes in the shoes cabinet coz its full; and better dumped all
those shoes at the corridor cuz it's so messy. It's as if the shoes
at the corridor all belongs to me. omg..and there's lots more of
coz. and we seldom talk.
I mean these are things u have to overcome in life. Yes, u may be
feeling upset about ur gf's mum, u felt heartache when she
bombarded and dropped bombs on ur gf all these while. Juz ask
urself, is she the one u are searching for, for life?
No matter what, my only advice is that if you really loves your gf,
u should be thick-skinned, swallow your pride, go to her house more
often and communicate more with her parents. Die die oso must win
her mum's trust.
Your problem lies with the lack of communication and mutual trust
with her parents. As we can see from all your postings, her parents
are the conservative sort; just like every other parents(it's a
natural instinct to protect your own child, but of coz the mum is
overboard).
Instead of creating more conflicts by hurling hurtful remarks, you
have to make her parents feel secured that their daughter has
choosen someone who deemed to be a good partner for the rest of her
life. Don't feel inferior about your qualifications and hold back
yourself.
This type of future mother in law is definitely a challenging one.
Your gf has been courageous all along, and if she doesn't love and
care enough for this r/s, i don't think she will be able to
tolerate her mum's nonsense and nasty remarks.
In fact she's the one sandwiched in between. Moreover, you can't
ask her to make a choice between you or her mum rite? Her mum is
definitely a hassle in ur r/s but she's someone whom u cannot
avoid. You have to pass your own round b4 u are able to pass the
torments of obstacles she has created ahead for you and ur love
one.
Buy her family a hamper since Chinese New Year is
approaching.
Be generous and accomodating.
Even thou deep inside you know something bad may happen, but
again.. you will nv know; something good or bad will come out from
it. You have to show your sincerity.
Be daring, You can seek her approval to invite your gf over your
house for a dinner when CNY is drawing near.
Pay her family a visit on CNY, at least show her that you respected
her no matter how she treats you. I doubt during CNY she will
chased you away with a broom.... for such a conservative woman it's
definitely not auspicious.
Then after that you can seek for her approval again to bring your
gf to your house to pay a visit to your parents mah. Slowly her mum
will feel your sincerely and accept you.
Sweet talks and Tiny thoughts count alot.
Like praising her diamond ring is so glittering and beautiful if
she's wearing one.
Her new hairstyle looks so stunning and young if she had juz trim
or perm her hair.
She slims down abit if she's plump.
Her complexion is so smooth unlike your mum( juz makes her feels
flattered even thou it may be a white lie)
She might say tat u r bullshitting and trying to get into her good
books, but naturally she will feel flattered inside and change her
prejudices against you. Such things take time...... take care and
all the best. Hope I can be of help.
