how generous can u be?

~Lyn~ SG

hi juz wondering how generous can one be in terms of relationship.. can one stand ur gf/bf flirting wif other guys/gals, contacting their ex behind ur back or sometimes get to meet up wif them? wat would u do when trap in this situation? how do u feel? had heard of quite a lot of such cases so wanted to hear diff opinions ..

amuletgurl SG

i dun even want to have a partner like that Rolling Eyes
so im avoiding such r/s Mr. Green

icyprincess SG

dump him.
you will live better without such loser.

i.c.y

tia SG

i had once shared my bf wif another ger b4(dun think it in the wrong way k).
i guess tats the max i could get to.
but tat was the 1st n the last time i did tat.
cuz,
i realise how stupid i was.
bleah~

FireIce SG

i would like him to respect me and bother to inform me if he does the above mentioned
if done w/o me knowing or perpersly dun let me know, tts it.......byebye~

~Lyn~ SG

but sometimes when u get together u dun noe abt all these.. after sometime den u learn abt it.. so by den u are stuck in this scenario..

laurence82 SG

There is a higher probability ur partner might dump u for another one, or worse seriously having an affair.

But then again, u understand ur partner best. Its may be his/her nature to be flritatious but not really fooling around.

Some people know their partners fool around, but choose to live with it.

And when i mean fool around, its not just being flirtatious. It means having an affair, or sexual relationship. Serious...

~Lyn~ SG

wat if it's a scenario where u are too deeply in love wif him and only den u learn abt all this? i believe there shld be some who encounter situations like this..

~Lyn~ SG

i'm juz wondering wat would ur reaction be like when u are in similar situation without assuming dat i'm the one in it.. wanted to get diff views on it.. =)

amuletgurl SG

This sucks...... dunno how to advise coz im trying to prevent it ..i always ask abt their past b4 i agree to be wif them

~Lyn~ SG

'

i think going thru dat requires lots of courage and tolerance... it's definitely not easy and muz haf hurt u a lot..

laurence82 SG

I made general assumptions, i didnt view it from ur perspective..well, i dont noe u well enuff .. Cool

In anyway, Fireice is right. Its abt communication. I got two real life scenarios.

One is a friend of mine, abt the same age as me. His girlfriend would meet new guys and go cheong with them. He is very ok with it, in fact if they each met someone to go out to have fun with, they would at least tell each other beforehand.

As for my second friend, he seriously fools around. Worse, if he and his galfriend go out and drag me along sometimes, he can even exchange glances with other gals right behind her back literally. She knew his character, and at times she knew he really went out with another gal, meaning havin an affair, or to even have sex. By the way, he is very casual abt having casual sex.

He tried means and ways to hide it from her, but she knew. Quarrels were always ensued until one fine day they broke off. But for long time, she tolerated it, because she is really in love with him.

U see, it all depend on how well u strive to understand and communicate with ur partner. If u are one step overzealous, u might lose a good guy, and if careless, u might end up having a cassanovic burden.

~Lyn~ SG

i do agree with u it's abt mutual trust and communication between the 2.. for ur first fren they bother to at least tell each other.. dats like giving the other party the basic respect.. and for the latter, due to the intention of hiding the truth, there's lots of quarelling and unhappiness which eventually ended wif a break up.. it's tough to haf a partner to understand the importance of telling the truth at times..

FireIce SG

yes, the keyword is re5pect.

_Aaron_ SG

Sometimes you must know when to draw the line.

Flirting is one thing. Contacting ex behind back is one thing. This all i can accept. But going out with a guy and behaving passionately, or meeting up with many boys at once without telling me...

It all shows how much she values the relationship.
If that's how much i mean to her... then sometimes i think i would be better to move on, to find someone else who appreciates me more than her.

~Lyn~ SG

hi all.. was thinking whether it’s common for the other party to expect u be very generous in the above mention situation? like if u do learnt abt them doing all these behind ur back and ask them frankly abt it, will they be mad? and if given a choice to noe the truth and not noe the truth of the situation, which one will u choose?

ak0 SG

different situation got different case... sometime u wanna tell the truth but u scared the other party anyhow think and suspect this or that...
sometime is better to not let the other party noe,aniway i nv do anything wrong... respect does not come with only actions...
but hie my lynlyn.

Nanami SG

exes are meant to be exes contact for what? if he really contacting then i guess i'd really want to know the reason... if they meet up just to chat or the like then i'd feel that he's harbouring an intention to get back with her or vice versa and deem it unneccessary and hiding those meetings from me is equivalent to cheating.... Razz flirting is another big no-no who knows he might just get serious with someone else.... no sense of security at all....

kopiosatu SG

i trusted my ex too much, she could mix with anyone she wanted as long as she was honest with me... apparently, it was a stupid thing to do.

oh well, live and learn Cool

edLow SG

the word trust?

hav u though of ur own side? when u go out with ur ex or opposite sex frds for chit-chat to catch up with each other?

respect each other too..

but sometime if things do help get out of hand badly... den there no point keeping generous anymore.