Many people have realized by now that each of us have an ugly
side that we try desperately to keep hidden, yet it comes out ever
so often. Lets all post our ugly sides, what we think resulted in
it, what we do when it happens, and what we are planning to do
about it, to show that we are conscious of it, and are going to
improve ourselves.
Let me start:
I turn ugly when I start losing too much. Recently, I played some
football on the ps2 with my friends, I know Im not good at it, but
it was just for fun. When I started losing 4-0, my face turned
black, I simply couldnt help it. My friend noticed it and pointed
it out to me, but there was nothing I could do. The black face
simply wouldnt go away. I felt so mad, mad at myself for not able
to control my feelings, mad at losing, mad at everything.
I think the source of it relates back to my childhood, where I was
good at chess then, and kept winning. Now that I dont play chess
anymore, perhaps the sense of victory is no longer there, and it
becomes unbalanced.
A year ago it would be worse, but I think Ive mellowed down
somewhat, until that soccer game just recently. Im hoping to paint
this ugly side of me, to make it pretty, but it may not work.
I dont even know how to make it disappear, except maybe to laugh
out loud at my losses, but thats me.
How about you guys? Care to share?
