Favouritism

FeowFeow SG

Whilst all parents like to tell others or even their own children, "I love my children the same", it may Not actually be the truth.

I dun think they understand how much it hurts the children who're Not loved as much.

Add --> 1 such e.g. is I. I got hurt today.

Opinions, anyone?

FeowFeow

_Aaron_ SG

Feow.

How many siblings do you have?

Are you being seriously ignored?

I believe in order for us to help, you have to help yourself, by opening up, and exploring all the pain and sadness.

Let it all flow here, and let us help you, while you help yourself at the same time.

798 SG

5 fingers will not be equal one, don't compare. Neutral

verloren SG

In what way have you been hurt?

pipi & poot-poot SG

Jia Chou Bu Ke Wai Yang.....

Jia Jia You Ben Nan Nian De Jing....

Sad Sad

MeoW_MeoW SG

can love or feelings be divided like money? the answer is obvious... everyone thinks they are not appreciated enough... do something to change it or else, live with it! Mr. Green

~ meow ~ meow ~ meow ~ meow meow ~ meow ~ meow ~ meow ~

shade343 SG

yah. I agree. Nothing in this world can be fair. I dun think you are alone in this. I also have a friend who is like you. Parents favour the younger children by giving them more pocket money etc etc….

FeowFeow SG

*smiles* Erm, I'm actually Not young Razz I dun take pocket $ anymore from parents. It's Not even abt my parents.

Actually, I'm the 1 who's favoured, & I'm Not tokking abt sibling rivalry here, for there's none. It's more like a relative thg...

But it set me thinking abt this topic, esp. since I was reading a book abt it oso Razz

FeowFeow

Devil1976 SG

I felt the SAME WAY too when I was very much YOUNGER. As I grow up I understand that life just isn't FAIR. And I just couldn't be BOTHERED now... Cool

gerrykoh SG

Parents tend to favour the kids who are good in studies & can sweet talk.
In order for yr parents to view u favourably, u have to make effort to treat them well, don't talk back at them.
If u are working, give them an allowance & bring them out for makan/ shpg/ holidays.

_Aaron_ SG

Favouritism.

This concept does not just apply to parent-child.

Let me put an analogy here.

You're a 8 year old girl who has just gotten her first doll. You're happy with it, and you keep on playing with it over and over. Then your parents get you another doll. You stop playing with your first doll as much, as your new doll is prettier and better. Then you get more and more dolls.

While it is debatable that the first doll will always hold a special significance, do the other dolls not lose out to their predecessor because each of them are newer and better?

Lets link this to parents.

Parents have their first child, they spoil and pamper them, and treat them very well. A few years later another baby comes. Their attention will be shifted to the new baby for several reasons. The new baby definitely needs more care and attention, while the other doesnt. Hence the first child may feel neglected by their parents.

Depending on which child gives them more joy, they may tend to favor that child more. However, I do feel that love cannot be truly explained, much less the love a parent has for a child. I am of the view that parents do love each child equally, though they may hide that in their heart when that child causes them hurt. We all do that.

A bit lengthy, but thats my view on this.

liyan SG

i've got one elder bro and one younger bro as siblings.

i am the person with the best results,
least trouble with school,
the one who stays at home most,
the one who helps most with housework,
and the one who starts working first (brings money home and stop
getting pocket money from them).
i pay all my bills myself (my bro get 'endorsement' from my mum)
help out in my two bro's school work research and proj
attend my younger's bro meet.the.parent.session on my parents' behalf
blah blah blah

so of course i must be the most favoured child what.

ya right..
but my mother favours my elder bro, my father favours my younger bro.

i favours myself lor. hahahaha. Mr. Green

BonJovi SG

u r a gal?

cutepixie SG

lets say there are 3 kids. how come the middle one is the least favoured one?

liyan SG

yesh

ditzy SG

No matter how much you psycho others not to compare, or be biased. One has to look at oneself and reflect deeply if one does exactly what one wishes for others to follow, which is seldom the case.

liyan SG

u mean me ar? Mr. Green

basically there is a 'first child syndrome', 'middle child syndrome', 'last child syndrome' from what i remember.

'first child syndrome'
will refer to the eldest child feels that parents are more tended towards favouring younger siblings, whenever children make mistakes the eldest child feels that he/she is being shelved with the blame.
'your didi and meimei hai xiao la!'
expected to live up to expectations...parents usually will have impossible aspiration for their first child, hope they become doctor or lawyer blah blah blah.

'last child syndrome'
gets away with everything... results not good is due to bro/sis nv teach properly... seldom get scolded as compared to elder siblings because parents are generally more experienced and tired/lazy...
feels that not given enough respect and freedom.. always a baby compared to other siblings.
being bullied lor.. i sabo my younger bro into running errands all the time, hahahaha.

'middle child syndrome'
seems to have a lot of research on this term
neither here nor there
both an elder sibling and younger sibling

among almost all my friends, one parent will dote on the eldest child, one parent will favour the younger child, therefore there is MCS. but of course la, there is always parents who are fair, and children who are too nonchalent to realised they were biased against, and some children who are too vocal and too sensitive (like me) so not very very accurate one la.

but my parents are really more worried abt my bros one. that is really true. if my they dont come home by a certain time they will start calling and calling. and will stay up until they returns.

if i am not home yet they go to sleep one lor. when i reach home all the lights are already off, all of them snoring away. i go into the room to take shower towel they also wont wake up one lor.

thanks a lot lor, saying i look very an quan right? and poor right? not a possible attack victim lor. hahahah Mr. Green