Originally posted by bensballs:
just as i was abt to ask her if we could give it another
shot, i realised that there was this other guy in her life.
she told me they were in an "unofficial
relationship" because he could not devote his time to her.
she told me not to wait because she said it would be unfair to me
but i told her that she is the one i know i love.
She's attracted to the guy, but she's
not getting any emotional support from him. And when you told her
that she's the one you want, she knows that she can look for you
when she's down/need emotional support.
so from there we moved on, talked occasionally at night.
meet up about once a week. she sms-es me or calls me when she has
problems and sometimes its as though i
don't exist.
Doesn't the sentence in red tell you
that she only finds you when she needs emotional
support??
my friends tell me she is making use of me. when we go out,
we still hold hands, hug and things like that so i am in a position
now where i don't know what is actually going on in her
mind.
So let me ask you. Why do you think you
can still hold her hand, hug her, kiss her, when both of you are
NOT TOGETHER?
Simple. Because she can't do that with her boyfriend (who has no
time for her). And she is sure that she can do that with you,
because you have indirectly told her that you'll be there for her
24/7.
Before you argue, let me ask you a question: Why would you
buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
You (the cow) give her free emotional support (milk) whenever she
needs it, FREE. Since she can get whatever she wants w/o committing
to a relationship (buying the cow), why would she still need to go
back to you?
You are like an emotional tampon now; used when needed, discarded
when not.
there was once when i sent her home she cried so hard cause
she said she is very sorry that she can't make things right.
during out last outing, she asked me a
few questions. "if she was holding me back from anything? whether i
mind this whole thing now?" i did not answer her cause i did
not know what to say. as much as i want her back,i only want her to
be happy.
Translation for sentence in red: "You
don't mind being my emotional tampon, right? And I didn't force you
into being an emotional tampon, isn't it?"
right now i am taking this stand. as in just standing by
her side in case she needs me. many people say i am foolish but i
believe those of you out there who have really love a person y'all
would understand what i mean. i believe that i need to mention that
i let her down greatly before and she lost alot (if not all) of
trust for me. but since then i have been trying to make up to her
cause i know she is the missing rib. but then this had to happen.
what do you people think? kind comments appreciated. 
Your stand is not wrong. But what
benefits are you gaining by doing that?
You say you are trying to make it up to her, fine. Even if she
forgives you, what makes you think that she will still come back
for you? Do you think she can still trust you, after what you've
said and done? She probably thought that you were just fooling
around with her. If not, why would you still go for another girl
when you were in a relationship already?
IF you are really the only guy in her heart, she would NOT have
agreed to go into a relationship with another guy in the first
place.
Kind comments are for those who wish to keep deceiving
themselves.
You can continue to listen to her troubles, talk and chat with her,
but STOP ALL FORMS OF INTIMACY. Because both of you are JUST
FRIENDS. Tell her that if she wants to be intimate, she HAS to get
back into the relationship. Like I've mentioned earlier, she won't
see the need to get back to you when she can get the emotional
support she wants.
I can only give you so much advice, but the decision is still
yours.
