Advise Needed Badly

pyip SG · 2004-11-15T12:43:10+00:00

PYip, Pls dun flame me, but I'm juz gonna ask u a qn... If u really do love ur bf, wld u actually seriously think abt being wif ur ex-school mate? I'm Not...

pyip SG

Hi people

I needed an advise badly. Please help.

I got to know a guy A through my buddy who is older than me by 2 years. He owns a business and that is why he seldom has time for me. But he has all the characteritcs of a good husband and he adores me very much.

Recently, I got bumbed into a ex-school mate B and we began meeting up everyday. He is younger than me by a year. He can give me the time I need. He asked me to be with him although he knows I am attached. He is such a guy who will clings to his gf and needs his gf to cling to him.

I do loved my bf A and I am one who needs accompany too.
Please advise... Crying or Very sad

[email protected]_arms SG

So you've got 2 boyfriends??? and only 1 of them "clings to his gf" but has not asked you to commit.. so see them both and have fun!

What's the problem???

Dante SG

A 100% satisfied woman can never be seduced. This applies to men too.

From the info you have provided, it seems you are not happy that your current bf did not spend enough time with you.

Do not stray if your relationship has met a difficulty, learn to talk to your bf about it, else, every relationship will just be a vicious cycle for you.

[S]parco SG

ok.....do you prefer someone that u love or someone that loves u?

Ogbunwezeh SG

Of coz be together with the one u love. Or u only fall in love with ACCOMPANY??!!

Devil1976 SG

Get friends.. Get activities and hobbies.. Talk to bf A....

mancha SG

Decide what you want in life.
If you can't decide now, just have (safe) fun, and enjoy yourself, until you know what you want. Don't pressure yourself or be pressured into making a hasty decision.

le cruz SG

Just wondering, Pyip, how old are you?

If not ready to settle down yet, and if B really gives you wat you need in a rship, then you'd be happier with him.

Kennerve SG

From your post.. one can see that you cannot differentiate between friends and couple (bf/gf or husband/wife).. A is someone whom you mention will be able to provide you well and have a good characteristics of a husband.. Although he seldome have time for you, at least he is making use of his time in work than to go flirting with other girls out there..

As for B, he is your ex sch mate.. Meeting up with him as friends everyday will not mean that he can or will be your bf or what.. You can always call him or your friends to accompany you out.. Does not mean that when your bf does not spend enough time with you.. and does not accompany you, you go around looking for another guy for companionship..

You cannot have the best of both worlds. Wink

SunRisE SG

Dear pyip,

Go widen your social cirlces.. like what devil has mention.. get more activites.. take up some hobbies.. to know more friends and kill time too.. Guy B can make a good companion.. But that doesn't mean that a r/s has to develop from there.. He can be there anytime you wan him to be.. but then is because.. he can filled up your emptiness or loneliness.. or jus when you needed someone to be there with you...

On the other hand.. Guy A may not have so much time to spend with you.. But if he does.. he treasure every single moment with you.. And this oso keep him yearning/ wanting to see you more.. Going into a r/s is not about seeing each other.. or how much time you spend together.. Is the value of treasuring.. and the time spent each time you both are together.. how much it means to you..

Guy B ask you to be with him.. cos he knows that your bf A has no time for you.. and he oso have no gf.. got lots of time to kill.. this might be one of the reasons why he asking you this..

Idea Think about it.. Is this for love?? or jus for the companion/ company that both need..

Cheer...

gerrykoh SG

Learn to be more independent. Keep yourself occupied with some hobby or activities.
Being in a relationship does not mean seeing each other every day.
Are u sure u want a bf who clings to u? After awhile u will get sick of him.
Talk to A & compromise. Career is impt but must also need to spend time together, suggest keeping weekends for each other.

101wish SG

i agree wif mancha..get to know wat u wan..however, not encouraging u be two-timer, jus find out more than each of them then decide..i know some ppl tend to feel lonely easily, but there's no perfect ppl in the world !

Magnus SG

Pyip,

What advise do u need?

You love bf A and bf A loves you. What's the problem?
What's the right thing to do?

Your problem arise probably u are insecure and u seek affirmation elsewhere.
If u think u have not found what u are looking for, or if u did but found not enough, go ahead & leave bf A.

Devil1976 SG

Is that really necessary..? Rolling Eyes

DeathScyth SG

just think wisely. always stick to one. if you play timer now, both will ends up running away from you. Then dejavu will happen to you... if you next bf have know, unwatedly, he is doing the same thing you did now.

it just an old folks believe but it happen to me twice.

just remember, going the wrong path will leave you alone in the dark.

pyip SG

Hi all

I appreciated all the replies Very Happy Thanks a lot.

Well, I did talked to A and he promised to arrange and will manage his time between work & me. But for the past 2 months, I onli saw him twice and less than 5 phone calls from him. My feeling is that I have a bf like dun have lor. The unhappiness and loneness are terrible. My gf always ask me: Where is my bf? All I can replied is tat he is working lor. Sigh..

Devil1976 SG

Really that bad? What kinda business is he doing? Good husband's character or not, he should learn to balance between his love one(s) and his own career?

What do you think? If he don't have time for you now, would he have enough time for you in the future? Meeting only 2 times and 5 phone calls are INDEED really little...

BabyLover SG

2 mths only met twice? then only 5calls?
maybe... maybe he has sumone else outside...
dating time sure miss gf alot, if away will even call lots more.
im also very dependent on my bf.
when he was away for work, overseas, we called n talked everyday!
on the day he fly off, i cry leh...keke...
only after so many yrs, as a husband now...
things are diff. i hv to learn to be more independent also.
he has his career to pursue... but he balances our family time n work well.

so anyway, wat im trying to tell you is, aguy now may give u all his time.
but u still hv to learn to be more independent, cos he cant always be by ur side. next time when ur gonna set up ur own family...
he has to work harder n bring bread home... tat time he cant always 24/7 with u liaos. esp if his job needs him to travel. Neutral

droopyeyes SG

wah
i tell u
u can dump him liao.

no matter how busy a person can get, if he truly loves u, he will definitely make some time for u..

aH_v SG

Well, man is always career driven for many many reasons and one of them is about having the financial health to support his family.

Of course, you will want to be companied by your BF more often while he will has his own problems on his business. Why not visit his work place and see if there's anything you can help out? This way, you can see him more often and understand what and why he is so busy about?

As for the ex-mate B, well, do you want another girl to stick to him or seduce him knowing that he is attached to you???

Try communicating your feelings/ problem to your current BF and try understanding what he is doing for a living. Afterall, this is what relationship is about, isn't it? Communicating the differences and understanding each other..