A responsibility?

DiamondMine SG

I had a talk with a friend recently and this guy here really treats his gf like a princess. His gf was really well-taken care of and my friend will do anything to protect his gf. They seems like the perfect couple and i really envy his gf.
I asked him if he will ever break off with her.
He said that as long as they are together, he has the responsibilty to love her with all his heart. That's so sweet of cause...

But then, this question came to my mind.
What will happen to his gf if he really wants a breakup? I bet she will be very upset since he has always treated her so well.

So, will you prefer someone who treats you moderately so that you will not feel so painful when breakup?

Or, the other way round will be,

Will you feel that it's your responsibility to love someone with all your heart when you're together? And you can safely say "I did love you before" after a breakup?

I can't imagine how i will feel if my partner who loves me so much initiates a breakup one day and said "At least i treated you well when we're together".
If this day were to come, i would rather my partner treats me badly all along so i won't feel so hurt. Don't you think so?

pete98 SG

Actually I kinda of agree with your friends philosophy. If I don’t love her with all my heart, why do I bother to love her at all in the first place? Since I have initate the RS I have a responsibility to see it through no matter how it ends. Although personally I doubt I will be the 1 to initate a breakup.

the_don SG

hummm.... love works differently for me.. i love with all my heart not becos of responsibility, but becos i want to.

if i had a guy who treats me as a princess and later wants to break up, sure, i would be sad. but not becos i'm losing someone who treats me well, but becos i am losing the one i love

if i had a guy who treats me moderately, and later wants to break up, i would be equally sad. cos my love for him is the same how he treats me. but obviously if the guy treats me like crap, i would leave sooner or later Evil or Very Mad

i don't feel it is a responsibility to love. if it becomes a responsiblity, it is not love. love is given, free will. love does not ask, it gives. love does not evny, it trusts. love does not stray, it stays. love is not a effort, it is free flowing from one's heart. to all my ex-s, i can truely say, 'i had love you will all my heart, given all i can, trusted without question. but u chose to lie and treat me as dirt. i have to leave to keep my sanity'

pete98 SG

Its not to love her becos of responsibility, its to make sure that you when you love some 1 its your responsibility to love her with all your heart. Its really 2 different things to love becos of responsibilty and to love with all responsibility, at least I think its different. One is becos you try to do it for sake of duty while the other is u do the duties becos of love.

Magnus SG

my understanding is that if a girl has given her heart only to me, then it is my responsiblity to cherish, nurture & protect it.

browniebaobao SG

Well...I would rather he dun say anything..like 'i did love u before' etc..it hurts very badly..coz it implies that he has a change of heart...or maybe the feeling juz fade away...who to blame? most probably, me.

I dun look at it as a responsiblity...love someone if u really want to love him/her. It shouldn't be a responibility...forcing yourself to love somebody because of responsibility..then is it still love?

At least, if he treated me well...yes I will be very depressed for a long long time..coz why...he was so nice to me before..but now, his attitude changed...but be grateful that he did give me the warmth, the love perhaps..the best that he could give..

if u truly love somebody, no matter how nice or bad he treated u, i think, u are bound to feel hurt.

wd1 SG

better to have loved passionately, lost and be hurt, than to have loved "moderately", lost and still be okay.

just my 2c worth....

Devil1976 SG

If someone really love you so much, why would either party wanna break?

If it really has to end... Would loving any more or less have made any difference....?

If you really can tell.... Why not you don't step into the relationship in the 1st place...?

If it has to happen.. It has to happen... Why worry if it doesn't? Why worry if it does....?