Originally posted by starangel:
i have known this guy whom i have liked since i was in
primary school. that happened 10 years ago. we spent 10 years in
the same school, and over time, he knows that i like him. sadly, my
feelings for him has never been returned. in secondary school. he
got together with my best friend. and broke up shortly after that.
she was his first love.
we lost contact with each other over the 10 years in school, and
during this period, we both dated various parties. but during that
period, i missed him, always wanting to find out how he's doing.
finally, after 4 years, i bumped into him again, and the feelings i
had just started to resurface again. he is my buddy, but i was
secretly in love with him.
we continued to keep in contact, and gradually became closer. he
knew when i was down, even without me telling him anything. he
knows when i need a shoulder to cry on or just some company. he
would occasionally pick me up from work and buy me dinner. or at
times, we would spend some time together, watching movies, things
couples would do together. we even had sex regularly. however,
there was no official status or whatsoever given. he asked if it
was ok with me that we were fuck buddies. i just kept quiet.
the time came when i reintroduced my best friend, his ex-girlfriend
to him. on one hand, he kept telling me how irritating and childish
she was, and he is glad to get rid of her, on the other hand, one
day, while in bed with me, he msged her saying things like 'i miss
you' and wanted to get back together with her (i knew this from my
best friend). she didn't know about the secret relationship/fling
we were having. i just kept quiet about it.
Not wanting him to know tt i knew what was going on. After some
time, they got back together. I was devestated. i loved him, but
didnt dare to push it a step further, not wanting to risk losing
the friendship.
A major arguement happened between me and my best friend over her
getting together with him. and we stopped contacting each other.
and so did my meetings with him. he was totally devoted to her.
i've seen how her treats her, how he looks at her, and i get
jealous at the thought. soon, they broke up. after a month or two,
he contacted me again, wanting to see me. i met him with no
intensions, i just missed him. and that night, he asked for us to
be together. i gave it some thought and i agreed to it. i seldom
get to see him, and most times we meet up, we would end up making
out. he treats me differently frm how he treated her. at times, i
feel used by him, but there are times when he gives me the
assurance that he loves me and its not only the sex that he wants.
he says he feel that sex is a way to draw us closer, but i feel
otherwise. I love him very very much, but i'm pulling myself away
coz i'm scared he plays me out again. i'm forever comparing how he
treats me and her, but keeps it all to myself.
What should i do? i love him deeply, but is it the right thing to
continue this relationship, or should i put an end to it. i'm also
afraid that i might lose him both [b]as my love and as a
friend.[/b]
he might be someone whom you love, but he is certainly NOT a
FRIEND to you, cuz he simply plainly uses you. i say ditch the guy.
you deserve much better!!
