wat should i do now since she said she dunno her feelings??

alienated SG

got this problem here,

i liked this girl a lot..but lately a guy has been quite close to her.

the guy accompanied her to sch, eat with her, pay her meals and cds for her, and goes home together with her.

being curious, i asked this girl whether the guy and her are together, she said not counted, she said she dunno like him a not.

when i told her that what she's doing now is misleading that guy, she said she knew and got fed up. she said if i feel this way, she have nothing to say. our conversation then ended.

i felt confused, have i done anything wrong and what should i do now?
should i tell her my feelings? Neutral

FireIce SG

i think she enjoys the attention and the comfort the guy is giving her.

i think she thinks u are being too nosy.

Match20 SG

from the way she say " if u think that way, she nth to say"
she already not defending herself...seem like u aint impt to her also..
if not she will spend alot of time tryin to make u think they r not item..

Xcert SG

agree.

KumSioJui SG

you must use strategy lah..

just continue whatever you doing to keep the contact, but slowly increase preassure, even if it seems like you are losing her leow just continue, its hard and pains you but is harder for the other guy especially if he is trying more harder than you.

because if he tries harder than you he is expecting result so he will preassure her for a result she might go with him or she might fedup with him. but if you stick ard and be a thorn in his side I guarntee you will get her in the end.

slowly increase preassure but never ever tell her your feelings unless you sure you are the only one left.

Magnus SG

I think otherwise.

She is just accepting that guy as a friend.
You misunderstood her.

If that guy want to chase after her. And she doesn't have a bf yet.
What do you expect her to do?

How about you? Did u do anything for her?
Are you her bf?

alienated SG

@ FireIce, Match20 : think of it, most of the times, she looked happy with the guy, but what i'm afraid of is that she's gd to him because of courtesy. the guy is loaded btw and when we go out, he offers and pays what the girl bought, eg cds, meals. The girl since being treated so gd, is embarassed to turn him down and start to have feelings 4 him to repay his generosity.

or

she just like to have a bf w/o commitments, and is taking advantage.

or

she just like him, but didn't tell me the truth.

I guess I'm nosy, but i just felt so insecure with her being with the guy that i have to ask her if not i can't help thinking abt it. Neutral

@KumSioJui : thats wat my friend though also, persists till the end. i'm not sure abt this, i'm afraid that i will lose out in the end. u seemed very experienced, can care to share more?...thx

i'm totally lost.

KumSioJui SG

thats what happened to mi also wat. I was the lowest class one, she already had 2 guys actively chasing and preassuring her. She had high hopes for either one but none for me at that time. In the end she chose one the other gave up but I hung on and became very good fren and counsel to her instead of that guy.

And you what, that guy now had more to lose felt preassured and started preassuring her with all sorts of demands she began to fedup of him eventually he also gave up then ony I step in and told her my feelings.

You just continue be the happy go lucky platonic friend and relax, the key is relax and make her feel relaxed, the more she relax and happy she will like you and tok to you more dun be preassured, you preassure she also will preassure. In a way you also show how steady you are.

If you are serious Just relax even if she chooses one of them, hold hands, kiss all is still not lost, just continue and maintain in the end guarntee 100% sure will get.

Danisdead101times SG

oh oh...i think you have made her felt very irritated,maybe you should try other ways to talk things out with her...

Dante SG

May i know how old are the lady, the guy and you? Are you guys still schooling?

There's alot of possibilities in this kind of scenario. She has her own reasons for acting this way. Both you and the guy will not be able to know 100% what's going on in her mind unless she discloses such details to the both of you.

In the art of attraction, gifts, dinners etc will not attract a lady but will show how desperately the guy needs attention and the extend to what he is willing to do to gain that attention from the lady. Unless you want a lady who choses gold more than traits such as personality, you won't stand to gain much from such relationship.

foxwalk SG

IGNORE her!!! then you’ll find her coming AFTER you!!!

Devil1976 SG

Don't be too sure about that...? Rolling Eyes

Demolition SG

To alienated,

Aiyoh.....is she the only gal on earth?
Go mix around with other gals lah.....
There are many other better Singapore gals around Laughing

le cruz SG

so much advice given... in the end, still have to go with gut feeling lor, what you wanna do next.

alot of good advice given, but nobody know enough of the situation to give really accurate advice.

you know her character right, then see what is the best thing to do lor. generally, for rship to develop well, cannot have too much stress. it's supposed to be pleasurable, should come naturally

alienated SG

Thanks for all the replies, really appreciate them. I haven't talk to her much since after that conversation. And I can see that she's avoiding me, I myself is avoiding her too, course, of the fact that I can't bring myself to face her. My plan was to let things cool down, let the dust settles before we talked again.

I thought of saying sorry to her, but I felt I was only being nosy and insensitive during that conversation. Since that matter happened a few days ago, saying sorry only now would be wierd.

I thought I was giving her some form of pressure, which I didn't intended to, because, of the fact that I often saw her with that guy, it made me act irrationally, and do things which I didn't mean to do. Meanwhile, if I didn't do anything, I would feel helpless and hopeless, it's like watching something bad happening and yet you can't do anything to help.

She's not the only tree in the whole forest, but she meant very much to me. So I hope you guys will understand. We were very good friends before, and I didn't want to end it like this.

Should I talk to her now and act as if nothing had happened, apologised to her, or just carry on with my current plan, that is, to let things cool down first?

Magnus SG

Apologise to her. it's still not too late. It's just only a few days.
Tell her that you are just concerned b'cos she told u she's not sure.