less pushy?

superworm99 SG

Hi people,
i need your opinion and advices with regards to a relationship problem that has been bugging me.

i got to know a gal for 6 months and i have been trying to date her but not much luck. we were chatting on ICQ and the topic was about accepting me. i tried to ask her to talk on phone but she said it was near her bed time at about 2230

so bascially, she said "look...i really think you very nice and to lose u as a friend, i feel that it will be a loss to me, i have been very honest with u ...i think u nice guy but i dun have that " feeling" with u ...and i am not sure if it can be cultivated but when i do, i will let u know. i also dunno what to put it down to..
its not that i am not inetrested in relationships..
just i really dun have that "excitability" feel with u ..and dun u think thats not too good but i suppose i am not repulsed by u ..hehee.."

she also said im kinda pushy and its rather pressurizing with me around cos its like im expecting her something from her..

so, to all those reading, how can i be less pushy and less pressurizing to her to make her slowly have that kind of excitability feel with me?
does that mean i totally no chance?

foxwalk SG

its too late. she already knows u r SEEKING her out because ur interested in her and not cuz of friendship. girls can sense these things. she probable said ur pushy cuz u msg her online a lot everytime she's online and she finds it a bit of a nuisance. its just too bad tt she doesnt reciprocate ur feelings. its hard to find who reciprocates your feelings.

superworm99 SG

no i didnt msg her a lot online

Devil1976 SG

Meaning you don't try... And just let nature take its course... If you're to continue pushing it all... Might not even get to be a friend...

101wish SG

i feel tat gal is not making herself clear too, she say she dun wan to lose u as as frd yet saying u r pushy..maybe u stop contacting her a for a while n see wat her reaction. some gal may wan to play hide n seek Wink

[email protected]_arms SG

well she rejects u. So find someone else lor

Kennerve SG

You may have gone a step too fast.. she is rather poliet to tell you that you are too persistant.. in chasing her.. and currently there is no feeling for you.. What you can do.. now is maybe msg her lesser.. maybe once every 2 days that sort.. and take it slowly.. its not that you do not have a chance with her.. but maybe not the right time now.. Wink

sgFish SG

6 months a bit to short isn’t it? do longer time la..go out more, wait a long while before asking la..alamak. well…you screwed up this one, make sure you don’t do the same to the next…

superworm99 SG

i dont have too much opportunity to go out with her cos she is usu busy n so am i
our common freeday is only sunday...

gerrykoh SG

I guess she don't feel u both have the 'chemistry' so just accept her decision to remain friends.
If she is comfortable with u, she may go out with u.
Just don't rush her or she may avoid u.

superworm99 SG

well, i not too sure wat she meant and i also duno if i should ask her out cos my heart is longing to see her...

has anyone successful won a gal's heart although she initially also claimed "no chemistry"?

Devil1976 SG

Yes... Pls continue DREAMING ABOUT IT.... Cool

superworm99 SG

anyone else with such an experience?

fymk SG

She has been fair to you by explaining to you . If I were her , I would move you to the ban list of my icq (no offence but I hate pushy guys ). Just be her friend and move on. If it is not meant to be , it is not meant to be.

You will never be less pushy and less pressurizing dear - she is already on her guard. Anything u do will still constitute pushiness

Just don't talk to her for a few months or unless she icq u . See how it goes. And IF she asks if you are angry or sad, just say you were busy that time. Talk to her normally as u would any friend . Don't talk romance shit or dating . It will turn on guard lights and see how it goes. Maybe by then u have another gf LOL