Help needed here....pls share your empathy here

larrenV2.003 SG

This is a help & favour of my neighbour friend who was once a gay & finally turned straight. One day, he met a gal that he can get along just fine. He & she bacame close friends after that. He wanted to further his relationship with her as he is beginning to fall in love with her.

But the only problem lies that he was once a gay & he feared that by going further & deeper into this relationship would end disruptfully. So he is very worried that he might not take the blow.

So he would like to know what a girl wants & what he should do to salvage himself if things really turned out ugly if she finds out about his past.

Your enlightenment & advice is greatly appreciated & blessed if his relationship turns out well. Neutral

ahkico SG

There was once tis true story about gays goin st de...

I can't remember much... But tat the guy did admit to his gf tat he was once a gay but now has decided to go st, n is a changed guy... He asked if she is willin to accept him or not...

The gal took some time to consider, then get back to him. They dated n then were happily married.

Tis of coz wouldn't apply to everyone.

Is ur guy friend to mak the decision to tell or not to tell... Jus lik the sorta should gals tell their husband whether they r still vigrin or not!

Is a matter of ur own priniciples also. Eg, some people may feel not tellin is lik cheatin thier partner.

But jus as ur partner has the rite to know, the other party also have the rite to be silence n not say it out.

Sayin out the truth may be gd to some extent... But then, it may hurt the feelins of the other so much tat they may wish tat they nev know it at all. It can hurt the relationship to a certain extent.

The truth usually always hurt, n the least u know, the happier u r...

Even if ur friend want say it out, timin is the most crucial...

Eg, the place, all plays a part too. U also cannot tell it so early durin the r/s... Mayb if really want tell, start off by askin alittle about tis kinda of stuff n see her reactions first, then decide on to tell or not to tell...

N don suddenly throw it upon her the whole chunk of news. Break if off slowly n gently... Startin off wif some promts here n there... Let her be prepared mentally...

Wish ur friend all the best. Wink

larrenV2.003 SG

Hmm...my fren mutters when he tell the truth to other ppl eventually. Does this affect him very badly when he mutters the truth to his ger?

Yunhaier SG

Once gay doesn't matter as long as he has decide which path he wants to walk now. And in fact, a past like creates a strong gauge on how enlighten or narrow-minded the other party is. Never fear if he have made a choice for himself.

He probably has three options:

I) To tell beforehand

II) To hold the truth until he made sure she fell deep in love with him/circumstances leaves him with no choice.

III) To seal forever.

Each of these options have its pro and cons. But personally, I feel (I) or (III) would be better. Please remember, by not telling, doesn't mean you are lying - it only meant concealed thoughts. Furthermore, what's gone is gone.

P.S: How do we walk naturally? Upright and either foot foward; never will anyone walk naturally backwards, having to twitch your head and put your foot behind as your first step. In relationship, it's the same. Its continuous and on-going. To let your past hold you - you will find yourself walking 'unnaturally'. Idea

Cheers

gerrykoh SG

I think it is better to let the girl know in the very beginning of the courtship esp. if it is a known fact among all his frens.
Let her decide whether she wants to carry on.
If she doesn't want, he won't be hurt too badly cos only start of r/s.

I know of a case where the guy fell in love with a chio lesbian. He is aware & trying to get her to go straight.

larrenV2.003 SG

Yupz i even also told him that honesty is the best policy..... Wink well i wll tell him that also..... Mr. Green

larrenV2.003 SG

Neutral Life is a game that can be too harsh to accept.

Devil1976 SG

And be FIRM about it. Girls nowadays are generally quite open about it. Though no guarantee. But mutters is a 'no no'. If he have to, hand her a letter or something and watch her read it...

Yup... Honesty is important... Love and Sincerity... If love blooms, then it has to be....