Hey, sorry to hear about your troubles.
May I be frank with you, I think both of you are still rather young
and not mature enough emotionally to be making this type of
decision. This is quite clear from the way you described what he
did as quoted above.
I find that the best solution for a relationship is first and
foremost to know yourself and know yourself well! Not just about
what you like or dont like but what makes you tick! what excits
you, what motivates you, what are your goals and how much energy
you have to do what you want to do etc...
without knowing even these simple things about yourself as with
many people (even older folks are not spared bec they never took
time to reflect about themseleves) they enter into a relationship
and guess what... they have no idea what they actually want or
need! They usually become attracted to someone who is not suitable
for them long term.
How did that happen?? well thanks to all the RA tv movies and all
those hollywood stuff or now Korean shows etc and all the romantic
books which tells us what "love" is... we ended up building a wrong
picture of what to expect when we fall in love and even when we
fall in love and the type of people we fall for! Unfortunately, we
are all affected one way or another... some more than others and
honestly I have not seen evidence that these model of love
works!
What works?? Well, get to know yourself first, thats important! The
other person must also be comfortable with himself. and contrary to
popular believes, psychological and social studies shows that
opposites actually make a relationship harder to sustain.
Its rather hard to advise you what it means or what to do since we
dont have much info to go by but know this though, sticking around
because you fear loneliness is not the right reason.
My question to you is... why do you love him? what is it about him
that you love? what are the qualities?? Alot of people think that
giving reasons to love is soo lame... unfortunately, it is the
reasons that actually sees you though the hard times and not the
iffy feelings that comes and goes. feelings are important but they
will always fade and come back and fade again up and down... and if
you use that as a guage to determine how healthy your relationship
is and whether to stay or go... you will likely end up
making the wrong decision... bec sometimes people quit a relation
ship too early... bec of no more feelings while othertimes, they
quit a relationship too late also bec of these irrational
unreliable feelings when their head tells them they should
go.
so much to say and this is super long post!!!
So know yourself first, then askyourself why you love this man and
ask do you see his potential that he will grow into a better person
than he is at the moment.... I think this is at least a place to
start.
