Emptiness in the heart..(wonder if you all experience)

SibeiSuayKia SG

for me..i always experience emptiness...friends..come and go..
got peak period whereby u keep on meeting dem, life is so wonderful..
at school..

den suddenly you woke up..you realised..u got nothing..
you count all your achivements.. and u take a look in the newspapers
recently, 18 year old scholar become president scholar directly go MIT
(massachusetts institude of technology) meanwhile u gotta slog in singapore
for NS

anyway im just saying this.. Why President Scholar serve NS after getting
perfect A lvl grades and getting a Ph.D from MIT.

Why do we have to serve at 18 and 19..and bo chance to get degree first..?

Those president scholars do serve NS but at a later period and for their NS
they get cushy jobs..HAIZ!

Every human is born with the same brain..considering other den
people of lower mental capability , the retarded and people with downs syndrome..

Sometimes i really wonder , is the government really making use of us..
and sometimes i wonder whats the point of going through the main stream
education.. Its like MY ENTIRE life is CHARTED!

as a human , we are supposed to be unique , and when a baby is born from birth til old , you will definitely know what will happen to him in his life.

From 4-6 years old , the kid will go into kindergarden , from 7- 12 the kid will go into a primary school , and from 13 to 16 he will go inside the secondary
school and he will take a o lvl..and poly/ite/jc..the guy will stay here
and work til 55 and he will get CPF..and so and so..

And basically he will spend his life watching Channel U and Channel I
and Channel 5 and Channel 8..

And from birth til NS period..
And basically i juz feel that the environment around us is all very artificial

Wonder if any other singaporeans experience..

We don't hear any bad press about SG Govt, even though the governance
might be one of the best , but however as we know as human beings,
there can't be some thing called perfect and therefore there has to be flaws

For me ..im seriously thinking of migrating.... Because from a human's pespective i seriously don't think that elitism should be continued
Why?
Because Chinese/Malay/Indian/Others all have the same mental capacities
and capabilities and potential....Cause i don't believe that someone with
A 100% cert and degree constitutes = PERFECTNESS

I also don't understand..why creativity has to be promoted so openly..
when graffiti painters are arrested , Creativity has to come from within
Arts...you can't promoted creativity by creating art class..
Creative technologies all evolved from the imagination ...
And somemore the teachers in school..catch us..simply for..
DayDreaming..Basically whether Bill Gates or a african boy also daydreams..

For Me, I wanna live a carefree live..in the outside..with the gal i love most
away from the urban areas..NO carrying of SAR-21 and btw im also a man full of peace too.. whats the point of equipping , Why also spend 8 billion SGD
when u can help countless of old people homeless in tanglin road??

If everyone on earth disarm and stop fighting ..wouldn't it be better?
Of all the evolutions from Stone age til now..Humans have never stopped in developing technologies to kill each other..from stone axe to GUNS.Have we evolved? No..If only those $$ used to developed weapons were used to promote the continuation of human race..20 more years before oil runs out
and ships..planes will not have any fuel left. Why fight?

and if u ask me whats my race , im Human Race , basically divided into yellow brown and black..also don't understand why government blocks pple from discussing about race/religion in mainstream TV. RACE/RELIGION are the things which WE humans should be the most proud of.

Religion makes our lifestyle worthwhile and we know that there is a greater being in life..Race creates our own identity...

Im proud of CNY and im proud that China is a growing superpower
Whether you are malay/indian , i respect you too , peace out

Faye Valentine SG

Shocked
Rolling Eyes

SibeiSuayKia SG

Sometimes do you even wonder??

you live in life..just to pay the countless singtel bills..
or the internet bills
its just that i dowan my life to be charted down..

You struggle so much in life , just to buy a car and a hdb..
yet pple sit in the office , earns almost 10 times of what you earn..

Don't you all feel that..over few billion of people have died on earth..
Mother teresa is one of the greatest person who lived..Why??
She is not re-owned for war..not re-owned for any other stuffs..

Anyway every human have to die sooner or later..
Therefore in my lifetime..i will try to impact people the most..

Isn't it sad to be born on this beautiful earth..
only to know that in the future , you will die??

Also don't understand why death sentence for people..
and drug traffickers.. i always believe in 2nd chance..

killing someone who killed someone makes you a murderer as well.

There is no justification in killing..whether right or wrong..

Last time don't know if you all heard of the stories..
a man once accidentally killed a guy he knew..
The man felt intense remorse coz the guy he killed was his good friend
and the guy had a mother to support..
so the man went to help..and support the guy's mum..
by providing food everyday..
At last the man confess to the mum..and the mum forgived him..
why? because it was accidental and it cannot be reversed back..

Why i oppose death sentence? Cause people not given a chance
to turn over a new leaf..You execute immediately after the person has commited murder..he has not been given a chance to reflect on his wrongs
and know what wrong he did...and he won't feel the guilt within..

Life itself is so precious and even though drug trafficking may be wrong
i don't think it should have a death sentence ..Why?
It only build on the seeds of hate..just imagine the child of a dead al-qaeda fighter will become the next osama..So what if there's 1 osama?

But all i know is that IF my family members was sentenced to death
due to drug trafficking..i would certainly be a rebel and avenge my members
Why? Cause Life itself the experience should be maximised as much as possible..life is a opportunity..and a person who is dead isn't given a chance

Everyone knows that killing someone is of wrong morally..
but what makes them want to kill ?
Does the American Government know that most of al-qaeda..
consider each other as family..and that by killing of one them
you are killing thier family..

If anyone tries to touch my family , i would also react heavily..

Whats the point of being armed to kill when you know that
your life COULD be anything..For me i don't want to have my life charted out
i don't want to sit in the same old bus..stay in the same old house..
i don't want to be "made used" in a killing organisation..

I don't want to be labelled Seventh day adventist or whatever..
War and Fighting all evolves from insecurities..thats why so many billions spent
over 10 trillion spent and september 11 attacks cannot be prevented..
it only proves 1 thing..as long as EVEN 1 person has the will..
the human way is still there.

Even if 1 DAY I DO SHOOT THE ENEMY..
i will think of this..the enemy's family..children..are they enemy as well?
What makes me know that i will be happy after shooting him??

I know its a question of either i die or you die..
Why not both live?? IF only people who have died would come to life and live again..i would tell you they would have laughed at themselves..

Humans , please wake up..you all got a brain which can create jet fighters,
frigates,space ships , movies , books , encyclopedia , einstein , basically anything , but you all can't create the most BASIC of all human stuff..
that is peace..

So many peace stuff going on but do you all know what is peace??
HaiZ , just disgusted after killing some pple..the soldiers call it a victory..
Anyway does it make a human happy after killing another human??
Why can't we all universally help each other out..
Why must there be test..

Why must there be one force trying to take over taiwan
i believe 1.4 billions brains are smarter den me..
If u have taken over 20 million people and a province..you may be better off..
but u have made 20 million people angry..and make life tougher..

Everyday i look into a newspaper ,always the same old stuff
Money,Lifestyle,Cars,Scholarships,Inventions,Celebrations ,Death
has the presumably smartest lifeform in the universe limited to all these stuffs i mentioned above?

Life is meant to be enjoyed , why kill and arm urself to kill pple's enjoyment?

and EVEN Before i was 11 i already know where i would end up at 55 years old. 1 room studio apartment subsidised by government..

Juz to tell you..if u can see ur future from now..it would be stupid..
i last time wanted to see my future as having a bungalow..
But i told myself " i want my future to be as enjoying as possible"

Taking the bus , studying , shopping are meant to be enjoyed..
Police shooting dead robbers in KL..
haiz so sad.. robbers were also trying to feed thier family ...
and who made them poor in the first place??
Who denied them of a education??

Who the hell says in life you are determined by education??
No matter if ur RJC or ITE..you still have to die after enjoying..
Nothing is forever

Just ranting....After taking over taiwan..you will still want more control
Humans are never satisfied and this makes us so power-hungry..
and when we're power hungry..we limit pple's freedom..

We are supposedly the smartest person..
and im just sad at the amount of things we can do..
our human potential is UNLIMITED..

Just sad that some institution measure people by education..
11 A1 or 12 A2 ..its all a number..there will always be people better..
So what even if get the whole world? but inside ur not feeling well..

Whats the point of studying O Lvls and u know that even when u take GO into JC..someone has done that before..yawnz

We should always try to establish new frontiers
Don't understand why people who got president scholarship
"wha i so qiang liao..top in sG"

over tens of people has received it..if someone else can do the same thing
that doesn't make us unique..

Whats the point of loving someone when you know that in the relationship
there will always be quarrels?

Whats the point of worrying about having enough salary to pay ur bills and
living expenses..?? Why do us humans gain so much delight?

Why can't humans be satisfied ? Why must humans judge each other IQ and Education ? Anyway when it comes to me.. I Believe i am As Good As any Bangladeshi worker and as good as any RJC student when it comes to being a human itself.

Im just laughing at people who are supposedly smartest and contented with digits in a piece of paper , just wondering if they could take that paper away with them to live with in the future.

Faye Valentine SG

noone has the rights to take away others lives.

SibeiSuayKia SG

GP A1 so what? The potential of the Answers which u have done in 3 hours is LIMITED to a piece of paper.Simply Stated. You can't influence the world
You can never be 100% correct in GP , if you all know.. just because you stated down valid reasons doesn't mean it is entirely correct or wrong

and 1 more thing , i know what you all will reply after reading this ,
and 1 thing good about being the smartest creature is that..

20% of u all after reading this post might flame me
30% of u all after reading this post might blame me after reading this post
10% of you might probably agree
40% of you all might actually think its a waste of time
(for those people who waste your time..its because you all haven't gain something called Enlightening..not refering to buddhism..but somehow the idea is there..it Never ends..)

If im correct , then i think I know human characters basically ..too well

im sad now because after seeing my history..my history is nothing unique
and nothing special..so sad..i have not done anything much.

im sad at my present status because there's nothing big to boast about.

im sad about my future , because i can tell u that i will be going NS exactly 2 years from now ,and exactly 2 years 3 months i will get out off BMT..
i have nothing new to discover in my life..its all discovered..NOW LIFE BECOMES BORING FOR ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGHHHHHHH
and i will go into SMU , and probably marry a singaporean gal and chances are she is staying in a HDB flat. and chances are staying in a HDB flat which is more expensive that 80% of mainstream housing overseas , you are bounded by tens and thousands of rules..and regulations..and people from bungalow still look down on you =( , and by 30 years old i know what i will end up with..
i will have a family car probably a toyota corolla or whatsoever!

THE PROBLEM IS I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY FUTURE!!
trust me life gets boring if u know about the future..
And im so sad that gals always look at a guy's pocket got how much $$ ..

don't worry im not comtemplating suicide , as ive said life is a enjoyment

the best and the worst saying ive ever heard is "life is full of surprises..BULLSHlT!" well death is no surprise !

Anyway to people who like having sex with multiple partner
you might enjoy and have fun..
But STDs and AIDs..isn't gonna be a nasty surprise..
cause u are aware of the consequences..
oh well i love surprises..cause it always alter the way i look into the future..

Anyway , you all keep on talking about Matrix and keep on saying this and that
Lemme tell u a little secret, You are living in the matrix too.
And tell you something the matrix itself , is the Constitution. and the national anthem u sing everyday =D .

The guy who hunts after neo is simply..the Big Brother of today..
whereby you don't hear anything bad about the "Matrix"
and you are given a illusion of a good life.
So easy to cheat humans huh?

I prefer a life which i do not know what will happen in the future.
Cause i know before 2050 , there will be a world war III
and i know that buying a condo of 999 years in SG and living out the 999 years is impossible
Knowing of the future is SAD!
and i know that world war 4 will be fight using stones

And since we know the future why don't we start changing it now =) ?

And if any of the admins/mods see it, there is a 50% chance of it being deleted , cause i know what will happen about a few hours into the future after i post this message , you all generally will form an impression of me or probably flame me

With regards to freedom as a republic..i believe everyone should be given a choice..if only we can have a choice in life the ironical thing about life is that..there are many things in which we can't have choice , like when paying taxes , we can't choose to pay or not to pay , for NS we also got no choice...
Basically , i just feel nothing should be compulsory in life..Cause We're BORN FREE and we will stay FREE!

Signing off.
SibeiSuayKia.
If only i am Neo..

the.raven SG

whoa lanx why your essay so long?? maybe you go write a book or something and publish it can earn big money leh!! Laughing one glance and I can tell that your essay is very well written, so maybe someday when I have nothing to do I'll read what you wrote!!

jkjkjk

each person is unique and thats why you need to discover what you can do and have an unique goal in life. of course not everyone can get scholarship go MIT. and the government does what they think is good for the country lor, spend money on defence so that the country is safer lor, as for homeless people or whatever you cant take care of everything at the sametime.

the.raven SG

I think people are overwhelmed by the sheer length of your post and cant post any replies Laughing

Qitai SG

Looks like someome is going through mid-life crisis Laughing

But seriously, if you think you do not like the idea of going through the "standard" life model, why not change it? Why buy a car and HDB like everyone else? Why buy the same 4-room flat? Why not just 3 room? Did anyone force you to follow the same model everyone is going through? Face? Pride? Social pressure? What's really stopping you from changing your life now?

If you find Singapore boring, then try to get an overseas job. Maybe you will migrate eventually. Maybe you will realize that Singapore is really where you belong. Go out and seek life, taste life.

Why assume your future? Nothing is certain until things happen. And do not restrict yourself in thinking nothing can be changed. You can't change the world to be exactly what you like, but you can certainly change yourself to enjoy this world better.

Devil1976 SG

Originally posted by SibeiSuayKia:
And if any of the admins/mods see it, there is a 50% chance of it being deleted , cause i know what will happen about a few hours [b]into the future after i post this message , you all generally will form an impression of me or probably flame me

Signing off.
SibeiSuayKia.
If only i am Neo..[/b]

Wonder where ya got this idea from Question

Devil1976 SG

Basically CONFUSED.. Cool

Some time down the line.. When your thinking gets seasoned... Or when it settles down a bit... You read through your own posting... It'll be much interesting... Cool

BestAgt SG

learn to be an animal friend.

SibeiSuayKia SG

Devil1976 u post at bar oso??

cause i noticed that u at bar post different type of stuffs
more of sexual thinking

and at aunt agony u oso post different type..
more of advices..

Govt of course do what is best for the country...
haiz maybe last night think too much..

I don't want to go down in history.......

HaiZ feel so sad for the motorcyclists who died
Ssgt ...if only the car prices in SG were lower..
they could probably be in a car with safer construction..
a motorcycle is always unsafe ..haiz..

all a motorcycle offer to the biker..
is just a freaking helmut..
if u all know motorcycle...is not designed for safety....

How i wish i could live forever..
to be forgotten is to be worser then death..

Devil1976 SG

Originally posted by SibeiSuayKia:
Devil1976 u post at bar oso??

cause i noticed that u at bar post different type of stuffs
more of sexual thinking

and at aunt agony u oso post different type..
more of advices..

Yup. Post at bar also. Of course, sexual stuffs and craps go into BAR. AA's more for advices...

Govt of course do what is best for the country...
haiz maybe last night think too much..

Yup. I think you have a high tendency to think too much and momentarily confused. Not too healthy. By the way, I used to be like you... I still think quite alot at times but my mind's more under control now..

Whether what the government does is for the best of the country or not, you have little control over that for now...

I don't want to go down in history.......

HaiZ feel so sad for the motorcyclists who died
Ssgt ...if only the car prices in SG were lower..
they could probably be in a car with safer construction..
a motorcycle is always unsafe ..haiz..

all a motorcycle offer to the biker..
is just a freaking helmut..
if u all know motorcycle...is not designed for safety....

How i wish i could live forever..
to be forgotten is to be worser then death..

This is a good example.

There can be MANY reasons to cause a bike accident. Maybe what you've said could be right. Some people are die-hard bikers. Some even risk their lives for thrills of sorts. You are probably right about a car being more safe for the user as compared to the car. But if accidents are to happen. There's no guarantee that the people in a car could be safe?

If the reason is as stated by me.. Tactless. Then MORE people might die in a car compared to a bike? And the damage a car could to doing to the people around its surroundings compared to a bike?

And accidents aside.. Many other factors to look into... Like traffic control..? We can simply go on...

Many of the things you've mentioned in your previous posts in this thread are of such... I did not reply to them because it's simply too long-winded. I think ya got my point?

Nobody would be able to live forever. Maybe not even god. I was having your 'crisis of death thoughts' at 9. Long over it..

Being forgotten is not the worst thing. It's really whether you've made your life a meaningful one?

Almost everything would be forgotten or replaced eventually..?

Qitai SG

Interesting. And I thought I am the only one who had that crisis at such a young age. I even had my will written back then, skip school exam and tried to find the tallest building. Of course, never done it eventually.

It is really amazing how many people have the death thoughts at some point in their life. Have a couple of friends who confess it came across their mind at some point in their life.

wd1 SG

welll….. u can complain all u want, but nothing’s ever gonna change if u dont work hard and get urself into a position where u can change stuff. after all, we are all equal rite? if the RJC guy can do it so can u

Eiizumi SG

stfu… Stop reminding the painz….

MATKOOL SG

There’s no use typing all these crap here. You can’t change anything. If you can spend so much time thinking of what to type, why don’t you channel that time and energy into something more constructive. Something that can improve your life. Ranting and whining here will NOT change the world and shape it to what you want.

Insightist SG

Hi swaykia,

Guess i am not the only one going through this "mid-life" crisis thing. Mine pretty much started when i began poly. I have just graduated and about to embark on another chapter in my life, NS. Life has not been the best for me at this point of time. I've been thrusted into many unhappy situations and people during this course of time. At the end of the day, all these left me to reflect whether is it just me, or the world that i am going against.

Your thoughts and feelings are not uncommon. Religion has been the only thing that keeps me going at this point of time. Else, i would not dare imagine what i would have been like. To the others who have replied, quit whining, i do agree with you to a certain extent. Yes, we should always channel most of our energy to working towards what we want. However, that is if circumstances and situations have given you the chance. It is rather like catching air into a bottle(haha, weird analogy). Hey, swaykia, guess you're not that bad or infact pretty fortunate, having a place to study after your NS, SMU rite? For a couple of us, we still have to chart our paths and forge ahead in search of a route.

If i do sound contradicting or whatsoever, do pardon me. At the point of writing, my mind's in a whirl trying to organise my thoughts and feelings and penning them into words. In summary, you are not alone in this pithole swaykia, and i really appreciate others whom have been through the same rough patch to share and enlighten us. We could always learn more from one another. 2 brains is always better than 1. Smile

Devil1976 SG

It's nature, especially when you think too much...

But my 'crisis of death' thoughts ain't about suicides... It's just intensive thinking and feeling about the subject 'death'... Quite suddenly... Sometimes some things in your life you experienced makes you THINK HARD... Then it's like you've just been HIT..

Devil1976 SG

COOL.. Cool Though I won't totally agree... Sometimes you just need to 'release' and reflects a bit..

But yeah.. Ultimately it's still about being CONSTRUCTIVE...