Something wrong with me??

cutecuteboy SG

Hi all..

Just broke off with my 3rd gf few months ago... Can't really blame her for everything cos I wasn't able to give her what I had then.

But the funny thing, I had 3 relationships and all three broke off with me and got together with another guy. (Potong jalan cases la.. Confused )

Frankly, I am not very sure what's wrong with me tooz...

In school I am always alone, minding my own biz. Why leh??

Cos my ex mad-mouthed me in school, telling her side of story till nobody believes me. Somemore I am not those kinda of guy who can speak well... so, that's it. Those so-called "true" brudders never stood by me yet, went out with her and the new guy while I was the last one to know all these happenings...

Felt so very insulted that I broke off all my friendships with these hypocrities.

Mind you all.. I am not anti-social,I was very flamboyant, my voice was the loudest, cracking the most jokes. Yet... now I am so blown apart by all the recent events that I closed up my world and plugged my world into a mp3 player.

At times, I really wonder did we humans have past lives?? Cos I am a Christian. I have always abided by the rules of gentleman chasing girls, ie. no potong jalan, yet.. all my exs were being taken away whenever our relationships were undergoing some tougher times...

I am not ugly, I have a good qualification, and I am going to have a professional career soon.. but so what? I think I may not be able to trust a girl's word "Never shall I leave you for another guy."

Bcos of the last relationship failure, I do not even dare to approach any girls nor even smile back whenever someone smiled at me in school.. Have many chances, but do not even dare to look more than one sec in their eyes, fearing that somehow I would hurt one more time...

Am I really so detestable that no girl can survive a long relationship with me?? Some ppl say, circumstances changes a person's character and personality.

My character did emerge stronger, yet my personality became even more diillusionised with the concept of true love in our pragmatic society... Crying or Very sad

BLIM SG

Hi Cuteboy,

It's normal to have thoughts on all these that are emerging from your mind right now. I've been through that myself.

When a girl wants to leave you , there's always a reason behind it. Maybe your fate has not come yet. Take this failed relationship as an experience. Dun let your failed relationship stop you from knowing other gals. Perhaps one day you will find one that really loves you and you love her. As you know now that the society has open up and gals get to choose "the man of their dreams", they start to go for those materialistic things like money and those 5Cs to give them security.

It's good that your character has emerge stronger but dun let it stop you from knowing the opposite sex. It takes time to find one that suits you one day!

Regards,
BLIM.

Jazzytunez SG

What is True love to u?

I'm sorry to hear ur story but there are people in this world who couldn't judge on one side of the story.

I used to be afraid of having a proper relationship with others cos' i'm afraid of getting hurt and hurting people who i love dearly. In the end, i holed myself away from potential good friends. Yes, I know I'm now stronger but when i look back, i feel regrettful and disappointed... why am i so weak to let fear controlling my life. I CAN have some better in my life, i couldn't have waste it all away to a DISTANT past truma... This is how i feel now, ten years later...

Seek Comfort in ur god. Do pray when u feel trouble. Psychology speaking, it does helps in some degree. The people in the forum are always there for u.

Yunhaier SG

True love is a stage, not a phrase. You cannot attain true love by entering a relationship with someone and hope that it will be. You will know it when you have been through enough for the ultimate one to appear. Like forging a sword; you can never forge one without sufficient raging heat to soften the metals involved, not forgetting the skill of the blacksmith as well.

A false relationship in exchange for the true sight on your hypocrite friends - you gain more than you lost.

As for your question on past lives - yes we do. Not wanting to affect your stand on your religion, I won't explain further. Gentleman in chasing girl? What kind of crap rule is that? I only know chasing for greater good or greater destruction - all is fair in love and war.

I am not ugly, I have a good qualification, and I am going to have a professional career soon.. but so what?

Then it's only two possibilities: Either you or their character. This issue is so subjective that unless I know you personally, its difficult to comment since your personality is not about being anti-social. It's great that you become stronger emotionally, afterall, you did gain much. Idea

Cheers

kaobeikaobu SG

In my opinion, character can be just an illusion. TRUE character reflects your personality deep within you.
Concept of true love of society? who define it, everyone? Through your experience perhaps. Don't live by others and not everyone think that way.

It takes time to get over a failed relationship. Take ur time to recover slowly and learn more of yourself. You will emerge a stronger person, trust me.

And it doesn't mean you dun wan any relationship means u dun smile back. There's something called "friend". You can like a lot of ppl but u love only one.

Sometimes, you never know what will happen, and when you look back in future.

pete98 SG

Hi no offense being meant but have you ever try talking to all your ex about why the relationship failed? Cos while its properly quite normal to fail in 1 or 2 relationship but if it keeps going on in that trend, maybe there actually some hidden factors causing the failure.

keuriseudo SG

I am very sorry to hear that you've failed again in a relationship. It is okay to feel for it, but I hope you do not brood over it. However sad it is, I feel that it is time for you to self-reflect, and self-develop.

According to what you've mentioned about your ex who mad-mouthed you in school and so on, I haven't got much info as you're not being specific enough, but I would like to stress that this reminds me of an inmature relationship. And I would frankly conclude that you are not ready to be in a relationship yet.

It is good, however, that you have qualities of being an extrovert and can be a humorous friend too. Don't let these setbacks affect your strengths. For now is the time to concentrate not only on your studies, but developing your character, maximising your manhood and be fruitful in your talents.

As a Christian, we know that there is no past life or re-incarnation. Our lives are made for eternity. The time we spent here is just less than a hundred years. What happens after, is that we will be spending our entire lives in eternity. Therefore, what we do here and contribute here, will in turn determine our rewards in eternity. Matthew 6:21 says that, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." This explains what I've pin-pointed out. I hope this will help clear your doubts since you are a Christian.

I suggest that you commit into building your character more than personality. What is character? Character is how a person treats himself; it's how a person treats his partner and later, his children. It's also how a person treats others. It is the substance of a cake. Personality is the icing.

My advice: Start to be committed to God's Word, placing God as the first priority in all things you do. Trust Him with all your heart.

Start socialising again and find new friends. If you are the smartest in the group, get a new group. You cannot soar like an eagle if you hang around with turkeys. The friends you choose to be with is a critical matter. You need friends who will strengthen you and challenge your mentality. Start joining cell groups and be active in your church ministry. You can learn alot and discover your potentials while serving the ministries you're in. Get involved in leadership ministries if you want to. Don't feel limited by what you have; use what you have and multiply it. Just step out in faith brother. In that way, you'll always succeed.

Cheers! Be happy; be blessed!

Devil1976 SG

Sorry about your relationship with your ex. Things come, things go... Sometimes you can reflect on the right reason(s) for events... Other times you don't...

But your closure of friendships because of what happened was harsh.. If not unwise... Whatever which is made believed.. Your act would only enhance it...

You don't have to shut your world down.. You just need to see it in a CLEARER VISION... Cool

^starrs^ SG

'Love Like You've Never Being Hurt Before'...I used to hate this phrase, cos i followed it not once but twice and i was hurt badly each time. Who is this crappy guy who came up with this saying!!! Evil or Very Mad Its just so stupid to keep on loving when u get hurt once and again, isnt it?

Yet i did it again. Call me stubborn but i never once thought i wasnt good enough for those guys. I am good, its just that they dont appreciate me. IT IS THE SAME FOR YOUR CASE! NVR THINK THAT YOU ARE LOUSY COS SOME IMMATURE GERS DONT KNOW HOW APPRECIATE U. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH U OF COURSE Cool

I love with all my heart and i found my true love now. I still believe that if u want ppl to love u truely u'll have to give out ur love to them too. DONT STOP BELIEVING IN LOVE, COS IF U DO, U'LL NVR BE ABLE TO FIND IT. Its alright to fall sometimes, everyone does, but don ever lose ur faith and confidence. Rest if u must, just dont give up.

When a relationship doesnt work out, it doesnt mean somebody must be at fault. There's no right and wrong in a relationship. The earth is spinning everyday, people are changing. All of us are growing, so are our thinking, beliefs and values. At very young age, we used to think as long as we love each other our love can last. But as we grow up, we realise its not always the case. How we used to define Love get twisted. Love is something everyone has to learn, no one was gifted. And how we learn our lesson is usually from failed relationships. We fall, we learn. We pick ourselves up and become more mature.

And always remember, LoVE YOURSELF BEFORE U CAN LOVE ANYONE ELSE. If u love urself more, u dont allow the unworthy ones to hurt u long. and of course nver let anyone take away ur confidence. Believe in ur faith, believe in urself u can find ur love one day, the someone who is worthy of ur love. Love the one who loves u, let the others go.

All the best to u~ rem to be an optimistic person no matter how hard life is for u. Smile and u'll realise the route will become smoother Razz and lastly my favourite phrase to u 'No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, will not make u cry' Smile