Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Jealousy is an emotional poison. Trust me, you could tell one
hundred woman about your plight and they will probably stand on
your side and feel for you. Because of the fact that 'OTHER' woman
came in and disturb your peace with your boyfriend, logically
speaking, this is so 'wrong.'
Now I will tell you the other side of the story these woman may not
reveal to you - it is your insecurity that triggers this jealousy.
You are the kind of lover that sees your bf as a form of
possession: Remember how tight and careful you handle your
possession (bag, cash, etc) because you are so afraid that you
might displace it and lose it forever? Or worst, stolen by someone
next door? 
[b]You distrust love -
therefore love distrust you. You are made to see your love as
ambigious, therefore jealousy always claim the empty gaps where
trust cannot live on. Love tried to shine - but some part of you
remain unconsciously covered.
I always tell people this real life and virtual space: If your bf
wants to leave you - he doesn't have to be surrounded by girls to
make that happen - HE WILL DO IF THAT IS HIS DESIRE. Understanding
this logic you will discover that jealousy is not trigger by your
boyfriend - it came from you. You don't trust yourself and your
relationship, therefore your anger is vented on someone close to
you - your bf.
P.S: Jealousy is one emotion I never remember how it felt - in fact
in my memory, I swear it never came to me before. Love is natural,
expansive and ever-growing - there should not be a space for
jealousy in our hearts when it comes to love. 
Cheers [/b]
what yunhaier stated above are indeed very true. However, the
fact is that....not everyone can readily embrace the fact that love
is " Love is natural, expansive
and ever-growing - there should not be a space for jealousy in our
hearts when it comes to love"....
At the end of the day, leaving the point about how an individual
distrust love and therefore allow jealousy to consume him/her in a
relationship.....please
also remember that jealousy doesn't just spring out of nowhere
too. I mean...how many ppl can take it if your other half
has been constantly smsing your opp sex friend? Even though it
might be true that nothing is going on during their sms chat....but
my question here then is - if it bothers you, should you just
quietly take it? or rather...even if your other half doesn't know
that it bothers you, isn't it only appropriate that your other half
stop such a practice? so as to avoid misunderstanding from both
end?
I opined that jealousy arises not just from the insecurity within a
person...but external factors contribute to it as well. It is true
that if your other half wants to leave you, there is no need for a
3rd party to appear before he/she decides to do so. But at the
meantime, don't "trivalise" your sense of discomfort and never
brush it off as "Oh..i'm just immature or insecure...I'll work
around it." Calmly talk it out with your other half how you feel.
You may face the risk of being looked upon as immature or
insecure...but if your other half really cares for you, he/she will
appreciate that you are open about your feelings and is likely to
refrain from doing what upsets you...provided that it is not
unreasonable.
