Like
always, the effect of jealousy mask the root of insecurity and
suppressed communication in view for short-term solution existed.
These two elements explains much of your entire topic and even the
advice given to you by friends will ultimately create greater chasm
in your relationship that it can barely survive by then.
My fren told mi tat I should not bother him too much cos
if a gf bother the bf too much, the more the bf will feel
irritated. And if the gf dun bother too much the guys will even
love her more
izit true?
Wrong theory, wrong case, wrong effect as well - seriously, if
you do follow what your friend had commented, you trust me on this:
your relationship will be
walking on the road to destruction. It is
NOT about bothering, it is about knowing your
problem, tackling them and solving them mutually. If relationship
becomes a one man show thing - your cracks gets larger each
day.
Three things I see which is killing this
relationship everyday:
I) Inability to share, explain and work things out. Seek to
understand, then to be understood. It is not about
potential quarrel; rather you must place in view of a long term
fulfilling relationship. To cease communication because you fear it
will draw verbal conflicts - you have to learn and practice
tactful, yet effective couple communication. Please note, I am
not asking you to rant and trash things as if you
are being unreasonable. You only appear unreasonable if you acted
and spoken like one - Be mature and logical in your speech.
Motivate each other to do likewise.
II) In a relationship, as we get closer emotionally, we begin to
discover new aspects of our partner's personality. If knowing them
will throw you into hostile mode, question is 'ARE you going to be
defensive against it? Or
are you both going to sit down and discuss how are you going to
deal with them?'
III) Jealousy. This chronic poison that will pollute the blood
stream of your relationships; choke and clog every critical point
of your love. This will gradually create much tension and stress
within your relationship and causes either one of you to explode
periodically. How can trust ever come into the picture when both of
you grip love so possessively? For now, this wouldn't be too much
of an issue (because the above two point could probably decapitate
this relationship serious enough), but would be unhealthy for long
term basis.
P.S: See beyond surface problems and have a soul talk regarding the
three points. If nothing is improved, 'love vultures' are hovering
in the air.
Cheers
