You married for the wrong reasons and because you
made your first mistake - the following decisions were ran on wrong
tracks.
In the past, your heart only had one person, until your ex-bf of 8
years left you. You panic and your emotional structure collapse
violently, leaving you nothing but a piece of wasteland. Even if
wasn't stated, I am pretty sure that this 8-years relationship was
a very difficult one. By love itself, it wasn't substantial - many
other factors shaped and affected your attitude towards love.
When you hit the lowest stage of your life; someone came and you
immediately cling onto him to salvage whatever fatal damage done to
you. From there, you pick yourself up and at the same time, gain a
relationship.
Your outlook on love and relationship seriously
need to revise and re-package if you wished to achieve fulfillment
from it.
Parental pressure? Condo? These are crap reasons for you to accept
marriage. Love doesn't run like a school - doesn't mean if you date
for 4 years means you will be married eventually and everything
else (in consideration of age, etc). You could be dating for 8
years and this man doesn't end up with you - So what's the big deal
with 4 years? Nothing in fact. 
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU
WANT and end up trying to employ the same psychological
method to get out of your mess - the clingy style, which saved you
previously. Its real strange and ironic that you are
willing to contact your ex and be a runaway bride, than to stand
like a rock and reject this marriage proposal, which is much
easier.
Your attitude towards love bends on making you
suffer and adopt the destructive habit of avoidance.
Ah ha! Your colleague came into the picture and he is able to
satisfy this emptiness cum dis-satisfaction in you. He is your
'savior' and the entire cycle repeats itself - you start to cling
onto him and repeated your own history.
You think your colleague loves you? This is highly questionable and
his character is getting dubious, considering he saw through your
days of getting married and now accepting an affair with you. This
affairs WILL be a sexual one and now at the back
of your head, you are wondering if he would be a good choice and
not something like your current husband again.
You are playing with fire and would be burn to
certain death eventually. I can see the root of problem lies with
you and it will take more than just a post to let you understand or
change your fate.
P.S: Are you a pisces? (Scorpio or Cancer?)
Cheers
