Hi Coco,
I wanted to present u a true & fair view to the best of my
abilities, hence my later reply. Wat others haf sez'd may be partly
true, tt ur bf may be slowly trying to break up wif u, but I feel
it may Not be the fairest representation of the motives of the
initiator of the cooling off period ( henceforth known as "the
Initiator" ).
So after pondering over this, here's wat I think. Wat the others
haf mentioned may be true. But there may be another side to it as
well. We shd understand the motives of the Initiator, & examine
the reasons why he wans to slowly call thgs off. OTOH, the
Initiator may wan time to sort issues out without any
"distractions" or "noise" (I shall define "noise" here as opinions
&/or accusations/interference from another party tt may tamper
wif the Initiator's ultimate decision).
If the Initiator's motive is to break up, a time-out or "cooling
off period" may be his way of gently breaking the news to u, to
give u time to adjust to life without him, & for u to adjust to
being emotionally independent of him. The reason for this cld be tt
he still cares deeply abt ur feelings, or, he cld simply wanna give
himself time to get out without a big hoohaa. There cld be other
reasons, but this will depend on ur understanding of ur bf to come
to a conclusion : )
2ndly, the "cooling off period" may be due to issues the Initiator
feels he's unable to resolve wif other pple interfering in the
r'ship. He may be confused as to wat he can do to make the
situation better for himself or both parties, or he cld be in a
dilemma whether or Not to continue wif the r'ship. Added pressure
from u or frens may make his dilemma even worse, & thus he
needs time to calm down & think of wat to do next.
Wat u can do during this period is simply, Nothg. By all means, if
u wanna tell him u still love him, go ahead, but dun do so to the
pt where u get him even more confused, adding to the "noise" &
pressure he might be feeling in the decision-making process, in
short, dun smother him.
In short, sometimes the motives of the Initiator may Not be totally
selfish. Unless pple haf been in the shoes of the Initiator, they
wun totally understand the frustration & the hopelessness felt
by the 1 taking time out from a r'ship.
Gd luck, Coco.
RP
