'cooling off' period in a relationship

last SG · 2004-02-18T11:21:11+00:00

be honest? meaning? honest on and about wad??

Coco_Coco SG

duplicate

xIaOzHu^ SG

hmm for my current r/s.. met some rocky patches.. me talked to my boi and he immediately wans a cool off.. was really hurting.. and he told me to wait for his call if i trust him.. but next day he called... and he was normal.. he told me he didnt slep the previous nite.. think thru alot.. and things kinda got better.. Smile but i admit after that we still meet probs.. i guess r/s is a roller coaster ride.. got its peak and its lowest point.. Wink

Yunhaier SG

They alone cannot help substain - I believe you are mentioning about couple constantly looking at each other whispering how much they love one another and likes. (Usually happens in teenage love.)

Love cannot advance when both are looking at each other - they must look towards one simiiar direction.

Seven Law of Love state that 'Love always wants more of itself and love always brings up everything unlike itself.' Although this theory simply states that it brings reality into love - 'Love alone cannot sustain a marriage.' is only true if you see love by itself - No form, cannot use to buy anything, cannot eat, etc. BUT one important note is that its magical effect can only work through a soul. And through it's effect, it can brings tremendous result because when you love and wished to see the better of your other half and that's how miracle can happen. Rolling Eyes

Without love, its almost certain the marriage will fall. Responsibility is man's effort to upkeep the marriage because responsibility is a self-imposed liability. With love, it automatically brings responsibility due to seven law of love (it brings up everything unlike itself) - but responsibility itself cannot foster love. The relationship will generally be stagnant.

In simple about what I had posted above: E.g: I am be poor and may not be capable to give my wife a good life. But I truely loved her; what little I have, we share and I gave her the lion's share. I look long-term and strive for my future because I want her know that she had made a right choice in sticking with me.

Do you possibility think this is possible for a marriage where love is non-existance? The thinking, preception, desire and determination? Probably enough for the wife to substain life and decent living - but anything more than that would be kinda difficult. There is no motivation nor cause to work towards. Rolling Eyes

P.S: In fact, people these days don't feel that love alone can substain a marriage - It is the lack of it that makes it such a difficult process to go on. When I say lack, it doesn't mean non-existance, what I meant is that it's level is too weak/immature to enter into marriage.

Cheers

NewLicense SG

Cooling off period = thinking of a gd reason to break up . !!
BEWARE !

RainbowPrincess SG

*nodz* There're certainly cases which u've described, abt couples being totally unhappee in their r'ship, but divorce was more frowned upon then than it is now. However, we shdn't discount the fact tt there're oso couples then, who DO understand the true meaning of love & commitment better than us now.

My grandparents had the most loving marriage ever, & I remember I asked both of them before my granddad's death wat their secret was. And wat they told me, is wat I use to help pple here : )

I'm Not totally refuting u tho, Yunhaier, cosh my knowledge on subjs related to love r Not professional, neither haf I done any academic research. Wat I use r experiences, thgs I've discussed wif frens, personal thots, etc etc etc : ) So I do respect wat u hafta sez : )

RP

Lingos SG

Hehehehe... when i was single, i used to go to this pub near my hosue with my girlfriend. We were walking slut mobiles. HHEHEH.. anyway, i met John there and haven't really been back. Well i went again last week and there were complete losers lurking in there. Not to mention the airheads that were probably only 18.

Since I met him, every other guy i meet has been capital Ls (losers). Isn't that sick?!!?

Yunhaier SG

Its great ya. We certainly need a good heart that cares and has to be willing to share cum type long essays. Twisted Evil

Experience is your teacher - and you teach what you 'learn'.

/me pat pat RP. (For your grand-daddy's departure)

Cheers

RainbowPrincess SG

*laffs* Probably cosh he's someone u love & r the most comfy wif, & so No other guy measures up, or even comes close to how gd he is to u : )

Speaking of which, nowadays whenever I go down to clubs/pubs, it doesn't feel like my scene anymore Razz Not my age grp Razz

RP

RainbowPrincess SG

Well, I certainly appreciate ur views on love matters, cosh they're v. interesting, & certainly, in many cases, v. true.

Wat's most impt is tt pple r helped, whether it's ur advice or mine, or both, it doesn't matter : )

I'm alrite, Yunhaier, thanx : )

RP

Originally posted by Yunhaier:

Its great ya. We certainly need a good heart that cares and has to be willing to share cum type [b]long essays. Twisted Evil

Experience is your teacher - and you teach what you 'learn'.

/me pat pat RP. (For your grand-daddy's departure)

Cheers [/b]

Coco_Coco SG

agree agree.... rs is indeed a roller coaster ride... esp in terms of the feelings and emotions u feel during the ride.

just dun fall off halfway...

BLIM SG

well, there are lots of things related to this. Cooling off is to allow both couples to seperate for a while to think over their relationship.

Kel^83 SG

I was in this situation too.

my ex wanted a 2mths separation so that she could think of what she realli wants.

i didn't like the idea of it as 2mths seems quite long for the fact that we've been together for 1yr++

therefore few days later i suggested that we go on separate ways as she seems to have changed and few days later she is attached with another guy whom she knew for about 1 wk.

its was so heart breaking when i found out abt it

conclusion is that a short term 'cooling off' period might be good but if its a long one then do be prepared for the worse.

sweetoof SG

The cooling off situation normally always ends up in break up. Its just another way of saying "let's break up". Been there, done that. But i guess it varies from case to case.. MOST do though..

Kel^83 SG

agrees

i also been there done that

just be prepared when u encounter such situation

zheshi SG

haha for me ..i feel the colding off period..mostly mean the end of the relastionship

Rodi SG

Hi!

Just wanted to know your views on the cooling off period should it happen to a married couple.

Thanks!

Coco_Coco SG

married couple? my personal view is that during the cooling period very prone to extramarital affairs..

Rodi SG

Thanks for your info. Just like what my guess would be like. My initial thinking was that for a married couple, since the marriage vow has already been taken, the thought of such cooling off period is actually more in the form of regrets than to sort things out. Eventually, even when the relationship can be saved, there will always be a emotional or physical scar in the form of having the need for this cooling off period, hence making one to wonder about the doubts of being together in the first place.

Coco_Coco SG

wad then is the true meaning of marriage... sighz...

Rodi SG

I wish I had known too. It seems that easy to solve this sort of problem when it happens to others, but when it happens to yourself, the easy suddenly becomes the impossible. Certain problems in a marriage can ruin the marriage, but when those problems lead to other problems, the end result is something like a tree branching out. As time passes, so will the branching out of the tree gets multiplied into even more branches. So, what will we get in the end? A whole lot of troubles. My realisation is that no matter what unsolvable problems may be the cause of a strain in a marriage, the cooling off period actually does more harm than help should the so-called 'noise' or 'interference' exists in such circumstances. Heart to heart talk, with the most sincerity in the expression of feelings, should be made available to both when sorting such problems. Acceptance of the hard truth should also be anticipated. Like what most pple would have agreed, one-sided love always lead to one-sided suffering, hence translated into feeling hard to let go. Such unwilling to let go of such relationship will in turn lead to foolish mistakes being made. So my point is to accept the hard truth and to be sad from then onwards rather to pretend to be happy when one already know what the ultimate outcome would be like. Any one would like to dispute my thinking?

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