Originally posted by Angel_:
i have a qn here , hoping that i will have some valuable
advice from ppl out there.
How do you knoe if your current bf/gf is the one and
only one you want to be with for the rest of ur
life?
You can't probably. Till the day you die. MAYBE?
In actual fact. It's good that you weigh your bf as the central of
your life, but it's not healthy to rely on him solely.
On what aspects and basis does this topic lies
on?
CHOICE.
My story :
i have got some gal friends who had already make marriage plans
with their bf , some of them are only together for 5 mths , some
2yrs+. but unfortunately, i have got friends who had make marriage
plans , but end up with a breaking up ending.
As for me , my bf and i started chatting and discussing marriages
topics after 1 yr when we r together. To me, it seems nt like a
plan that is going to work in recent years but a plan that we r jus
imagining based on realistic facts.The reason is becoz , we r
graduates "yet- to- be" and required at least 5 years before we
save enough for a marriage.
its not that i am materialistic about focusing on financial aspects
of a marriage. its jus that i don't really know if we are really
meant for each other. i mean , we may love each other as much as we
do. but there is a invisible barrier btw us. Its a contradiction
coz
1. i know i love him but i have no basis of comparison (he is my
1st bf)
If he is truly the one you love why should you need to
compare?
In some aspects, there would probably be 'better ones'. Like I've
mentioned earlier. Choice.
2. at this moment in time, there is no financial
security
Ok. That's why you're saving up for years to come?
Though financial can be a problem for married couples, it's less
likely to be of a major one (depending on your backgrounds) because
it can be quite relative.
In your case for example, I would rather advise you to be more
caution of other aspects of 'security'.
3. it seems that we got a long way to go, at least 5 years.
No body can predict what will happen in 5 years
time.
You are right. Nobody can exactly predict what would happen in 5
years to come. Do you have the confidence?
Then again, I would like to bring you back to your subject of
concern. Someone to spend the rest of your life
with. What were you saying again? 5 years?
one
last qn:
due to all these contradictions, i dun know if i should treat him
jus like a bf or a future husband. Its really 2 different
things
thanks 
In my own opinion, it doesn't really matter. For a starter, I would
be quite interested to know... Why are the both of you together in
the 1st place? Love? Or just companionship?
If there is at all a factor of love in this relationship (which I
think is pretty obvious), does it matter if you love him as a bf or
a future husband?
I know for many, marriage would be a BIG thing. For some it spells
the 'grave of love' or even 'start of a serious commitment'. No
doubt, the relationship would evolve with time and marriage is
often a hallmark.
But just like saying when you've become an adult you can no longer
play and enjoy life... Or you can only be 'all serious'? That's how
people changes... Often a killer in a marriage.
And as much as you wanna recognise the importance of a marriage.
Don't let the mentality of a marriage kill a love. For some, don't
belittle it too. It's just a growing stage. Be it be your 1st day
at school.. Or sitting for an important exams... The main
difference here is that this one probably involves the rest of your
life...
