socializing skills

'm back SG

dun worry, no matter what problems you are experiencing, u r not alone in this world. Just remember, your aim is to complete ur studies, frens (new or old) can be made anywhere and if they dun want 2 mix around wif u though u tried ur best, be it.

Mr. Green

audlenelee SG

x 2!

www SG

u can continue to shut yourself behind those doors trying to figure out what could be a best and easy way out.

but all i can say is that you have the solution all the while and you basically just wouldnt dare to use them.

u can justify all you want for your behaviour. however, none of your classmates would understand unless you start speaking up.

from where you stand, i know its pretty hard for you to begin what were suggested in this thread overnight.

neither will there be a subtle and powerful force to suddenly make all your classmates wanting to be your friends when the school reopens.

you can start taking babysteps and make yourself more available to the people around you.

already knowing what should be done but keep asking "why?! why is this happening to me?" or "can someone answer me?" is hardly productive nor constructive.

also, take what bear has proposed. start off by developing your social skills via those outings organised.

bismarck SG

tried talking to them by asking whether are they going to see this lecturer then 1 of them like give me attitude. the way he replied like he wasnt happy i existed like that. talk in that kind of low,dull, i-wish-u-werent-in-my-class mindset. somemore he sort of looked away when he answered.

nabei. attitude.

then the lecturer stepped outside to talk to us and asked how was my attachment in melb. then i heard the same guy asking another classmate where i was attached to. so i made a quick glance and mentioned abt the reputation of the uni where i was attached to. why i did that ? i have no idea.

then we went to a foodcourt to have lunch, then they talked so softly. anyway i made it looked like i was listening to them, like sit up looking at them, minimal contact with my phone(not looking at it at all)
i knew they wouldnt reply me or simply say " nothing nothing" if i asked what they were talking abt.
machiam like treat me like outsider. i mean like i tried talking to them but they all like "bo hiew" me
ah fark...

the Bear SG

doesn't matter.. skool can be brutal..

what matters is outside of skool... where there are people from more diverse backgrounds, age groups and stuff...

in the meantime, learn Smile go out more with the mob in here.. make friends Smile

in this way, you are better off than the narrow-mindedness which is so prevalent around skools... serious!

in the end, you'll be better off Smile

bismarck SG

now i am afraid is that i cant get into grps for my final year project and grps for practicals and assignments.

1 thing is that, when i posted a request on the class's yahoo grps to meet up with some of them to study for a module for last semester's exam. till now no one has replied. ha

the Bear SG

oh well.. just endure a little bit more..

you'll be fine.. i know.. i've been there Smile

Devil1976 SG

Sometimes being oversensitive to things is not healthy...

Devil1976 SG

Don't be 'afraid'.... Be DARING.... TRY.... People don't get anyway by being afraid that they can't find a job.... They get the JOB only when they at least TRY TO....

Don't post such request on Yahoo groups unless both YOU and your class mates' relationship is ACTIVE online... ASK them IN PERSON... From my own experience, it's always good to START seeking your 'group' or potential project mates EARLY... Or at least should SOURCE for the POTENTIAL candidate whom you can get along with and have things to contribute to the team... Likewise they must feel the same of you of course?

And DON'T be afraid to be rejected? These are just parcels of life....

bismarck SG

being oversensitive to...... ?

huiz SG

why dun u get a third party to meditate? eg. ur form teacher? tell him/her abt ur problem then ask he/she to talk to ur classmates. hope tat this will help clear up any misunderstandings lor. u can oso take this opportunity to find out wat ur frens think of u. for u urself, oso try to be less sensitive and serious. relax and enjoy when hanging out wif ur frens.

bismarck SG

i did.it accidentally happened because i had problems getting a grp mah. then the teacher knew abt it. then for a few weeks after that. things seemed to be ok. then back to normal

then at start of year2, because we changed classes so initially the boys from my yr1 class like,....we stick together...sit in class also together. we mixed ard but we were closer lah.

then when getting into grps for the pracs during 1 of the module, they were looking for me to join them even though they mixed ard with other boys. but...a few weeks after that...back to normal again.

1 thing is that i could cherished the opportunity to mix ard with the entire grp of boys instead of joining the girls and some of those who repeated their modules.

sian...

huiz SG

erm...how come u can get into a group liao and still aft some time back to normal? issit bcos u hav got diff views wif them in the practical??

NeonTetra SG

oh Ah Bis..

try to be more open and initiate to talk to people?

Hmmm...for me...used to be a little introvert but after getting to know some friends and crazy ones i mean...i turned crazy. haha..talk non stop and lamely to people.

u can start by finding a few friends...join some CCAs and get used to be in the presence of lots of people.

To help u...u can join us at the Eternal Hope outing on the 14 Jan @ Dubliner Irish Pub. see you!

Devil1976 SG

People around you... Thinking of how they might view you and hence worrying much.... Can make even a normal person looks awkward sometimes? Rolling Eyes

bismarck SG

even when i suggest something and they decide aganist it, i wouldnt protest or anything. i would go with the crowd. i dunno lah.

whoa...tmr got a prac...

anyway i saw some former classmates today when i was walking back to sch, then i waved at them. 2 of them like cant be bothered to wave back. it;s like this since year1 first sem.
wave at them, all either look away, act blur, or just like look back at me and give that kind of smile. no words, no wave,nothing.

thats why alot of times i hate to see them when i am out.

bismarck SG

eh pls....pub?

NeonTetra SG

yeap. see our outing thread lor...

its a family kind of pub. unlike others Mr. Green

bismarck SG

i know lah.
i not as hip as some of them
i not as handsome/hunk as some of them
i dont like football like most of them
i am the only clown in class that has a fetish for this boring hobby called photography.
i dont dress as nice/ have good fashion sense as them.
i dont have branded stuff all over me like them.

Devil1976 SG

Just be yourself. Your main objective there is to study. It'll be nice if you can get along with them, but sometimes you'll just happens to be in a situation where you barely fit in... If you can and is willing to change your style a little to blend in, do that... If not just do your stuffs.... When you start work things might be different...

I'm not in the situation to comment about your current group of course mates as I don't know a thing about them... But personally I feel that when you just don't get along with them, no point forcing yourself... (let alone GIVING IN to almost everything just to gain acceptance...)

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