well, what do you people do when this happens?
: you were so close with this guy. you chatted on the phone almost
everyday with him. sms too. the two of you chatted about almost
everything under the sun. he told you about his ex, and you told
him yours. both of you likes to talk about couples and stuffs. he
told you he wants to find a stead, and you told him you wanted one
too. (you dunno if thats a hint or wat) and you started to forget
about your ex and your miserable past. only then you realised
you've fallen for that guy and began to feel that talking to him is
a pleasure, and you're very very happy..
and you have the thinking that he likes you a little teeny weensy
bit, perhaps. and one day, his old computer was being repaired.
he's back to playing games and finds no time and no need to talk on
the phone with you. but when he needs something for his game, he
looks for you. and asked you to play with him, let him kill, so
that he can have those "golds" and buy items. and you did so
willingly.
you thought of it as "Xing Fu" because you can play with him. even
if its wasting time everyday just for him to kill you in game is a
kind of happiness, which you later realised that you're rather
"being used" and had been a fool. you cried in the middle of the
night, just thinking about how nice it was before he had his
computer repaired. you cried just thinking about him. you cried
thinking about those happy times. you cried cause you're scared,
"what if i fall for the wrong guy again..." you told yourself
you're gonna hate this guy. even your friends encourage you to do
so.
then one day, his computer breaks down, he's so bored, he sms you.
he asked you for a chat on the phone. you forgot all your "im a
fool", "im going to hate him" and "being used" thinkings and
immediately jumped next to the phone, waiting for his call. and
when the call comes, you were feeling very excited and happy. but,
there's nth left in mind to talk about. there was this
uncomfortable silence. your mind were rushing like mad to think of
things to talk about, but failed. and that seems to be the last
phone call from him.
and now, when you sms him, all his replies are never longer than a
sentence. its all the same. eg. "Ok" "Ya" "Lol" "Oic" its not even
a line...now, you wish he'll ask you to join his game and let him
kill, but its impossible. he has already got his complete set of
items. there's no need for you anymore...he doesnt sms you or call
you like the past. its like being ignored totally...
you've also realised, you cannot forget him. you tried. but his
face, his voice, his everything still appears in your mind. you
wish you can go out with him during christmas. and you know this is
possible before his computer was repaired. but now, it seems
impossible... and whats worse, next year you're gonna be in the
same class as him... you know this is only a crush. and yet you
still miss him greatly, you know you still yearn for his phonecall,
you still miss his voice, you know you really really need and miss
him very badly...but things are never going to be the same
anymore...distance between you and him are drifting further and
further away each day. you tried not to sms him, hoping that he'll
sms you. but it never happens, and it never will. haisss...
