issit love? or juz infatuation?

blueberryjam SG

hi pple..im kinda confused myself now..alright, i noe im young, but i dunno how to describe this feeling within me...

well, i met this guy (lets give him a name "A" ) about one yr and 9mths back. was deeply in love wif him, i rejected alot of guys, just for him. and i reali cant get over him. i reali reali like him alot. but he gave me cold shoulders, for one n 9mths...no matter i sms him, irc msg, msn, or in sch wanna find a chance to just say a simple "hi"...he just dun give a heck abt me.

then, just this year, i met another guy ("B" ) in my class. well, i dont reali take notice of him until abt a mth or two ago. he is the most handsome guy in my class (but dat isnt wat im lookin for). he's those quiet type, but when he's wif his group, he can get quite rowdy. sorta cute Smile i dunno why, i just started to get quite involved wif him...we talked during lessons, we bicker, we hit each other, we snatch each other's belongings, we joked, we laughed. den one day while sms-ing, i wuz telling him about me and A. he said i wuz stupid to keep on waiting. so i wuz kinda pissed. then he apologized and asked me to call his fren de hp for conferencing. so i did. and oh boy, we talked our way thru the night, until abt 4am in the morning? his frens were all asleep. leavin onli me and him, still energetic. B and me can talk abt almost everything under the sun. there's nth we cant talk. we dun run out of topics. and nowadaes, we talk on the phone quite often, in prvt Razz

these things still happen now, and i realise, whenever i see things like couples and stuffs, i used to think abt A. then now, its B. and i dun think about A as much as i think abt B. im kinda confused..i think i like B...and A's gone?? i dunno. B reali reali is very close to me now...i dun wanna lose him like how i lost A (by confessing my feelings...). im average lookin, he is ABOVE average, im afraid that he'll mind, and the history repeats... Crying or Very sad

i dunno if B likes me or not..i mean, nopez, i not tryin to be bhb. but...perhaps..theres this possibility? but i cant just assume everything, can i? hmm, one example...well, cuz this year, my sch's gonna stream us. so we'll each be going to different classes. well, the results are out, i got into the same class as B again, he noes abt it too.. oh boy, am i glad! Very Happy then one day, my teacher call me, he said im not the last 40, so i gotta change class. but becuz i took art, i was going back to the same class, the art stream - last class. so there's no changes made. i decided to haf fun wif B, we were sms-ing that time. i told him i'll be going to other class next yr. then he just call me. i dunno why, but he got sorta worked up. he's like "wat talkin you? wat happened? why you not same class with me? why liddat??" i wuz tryin hard not to luff and pretendin sad.. so i told him everything, and in the end, he knew i "dua" him. and he juz luffed it off. one thing i notice abt him, he like to act cute when talkin on fone wif me. i dunno wat got into him, but he's sure sooooo cute. and oh yah, he keeps mentioning that im alot like his ex, the way i talk e.g ( keep askin "why" ). the way i sms e.g ( like sms halfway will doze off..) and im afraid that IF im able to be with him, its bcuz im his ex's sub?? but i noe there wun be any possibility btw the both of us, though. Rolling Eyes

and now, he made me forget A and i cant forget him...how how how...wats this... Confused

jOhO SG

i didn't read your post at all, i will later perhaps.

but once i saw the topic i know the ans to the question liow.

if u have to ask, then it's definitely not love. Wink

jOhO SG

ok i read the post liow.. nbz.. eyes getting crossed, very sleepy.

now.. let's just throw A out of the answer. he's not in contention anymore rite? ok that makes it much simpler.

it's so simple i'm not sure there's a problem! unless u think having a wonderful relationship with a really cool guy is bad?

u're worried that u will lose the friendship with him if u confess, right? but if u don't u will always have this deep longing in ur heart that waill keep gnawing at u. both ways also sian rite?

u need to make certain steps to a decision. u have to decide to "chase" him, or forget all romantic inclinations towards him and continue being the real good friends u both already are, in other words, get rid of the gnawing feeling.

now the chase. no one said u needed to confess. there are certainly ways to SHOW him that u are interested. and he will get the hint and will hint back perhaps. i'm making it pretty simplistic, but if u want, it's a game of tennis. u serve the ball, u see if he hits back. if he doesn't no worries, just sit down at the club house and chit chat with him over an iced tea (the friends part). if he plays ball then that's there the fun begins!

the chase can be very exciting for those who are up for it, but very stressful for pple who think too much. that is why in general girls don't play this game well. becos girls in general introspect more. they think about "wat if" too much. just do wat is natural, u wanna care for him in a certain way, just go ahead and see his reaction. u obviously know him enuff to extend this kind of emotion to him, without fear that he might hurt u in the end. oh and that's another story too, many girls are afraid to step forward becos they fear getting hurt. see wat i mean by thinking too much? they want the guy, but they scared this scared that. then how?

life is full of decisions. the worst thing to do isn't to make wrong decision. it is to choose NOT to make a decision that i feel is a very pathetic situation to be in. it's like escaping. u can't escape life, u're in it, like it or not. suicide isn't a suitable option in my list either! Twisted Evil

and like i said above, no this isn't love, it's infatuation. but that doesn't mean it can't grow to love. good luck.

boy in blues SG

Originally posted by blueberryjam:
hi pple..im kinda confused myself now..alright, i noe im young, but i dunno how to describe this feeling within me...

well, i met this guy (lets give him a name "A" ) about one yr and 9mths back. was deeply in love wif him, i rejected alot of guys, just for him. and i reali cant get over him. i reali reali like him alot. but he gave me cold shoulders, for one n 9mths...no matter i sms him, irc msg, msn, or in sch wanna find a chance to just say a simple "hi"...he just dun give a heck abt me.

then, just this year, i met another guy ("B" ) in my class. well, i dont reali take notice of him until abt a mth or two ago. he is the most handsome guy in my class (but dat isnt wat im lookin for). he's those quiet type, but when he's wif his group, he can get quite rowdy. sorta cute i dunno why, i just started to get quite involved wif him...we talked during lessons, we bicker, we hit each other, we snatch each other's belongings, we joked, we laughed. den one day while sms-ing, i wuz telling him about me and A. he said i wuz stupid to keep on waiting. so i wuz kinda pissed. then he apologized and asked me to call his fren de hp for conferencing. so i did. and oh boy, we talked our way thru the night, until abt 4am in the morning? his frens were all asleep. leavin onli me and him, still energetic. B and me can talk abt almost everything under the sun. there's nth we cant talk. we dun run out of topics. and nowadaes, we talk on the phone quite often, in prvt

these things still happen now, and i realise, whenever i see things like couples and stuffs, i used to think abt A. then now, its B. and i dun think about A as much as i think abt B. im kinda confused..i think i like B...and A's gone?? i dunno. B reali reali is very close to me now...i dun wanna lose him like how i lost A (by confessing my feelings...). im average lookin, he is ABOVE average, im afraid that he'll mind, and the history repeats...

i dunno if B likes me or not..i mean, nopez, i not tryin to be bhb. but...perhaps..theres this possibility? but i cant just assume everything, can i? hmm, one example...well, cuz this year, my sch's gonna stream us. so we'll each be going to different classes. well, the results are out, i got into the same class as B again, he noes abt it too.. oh boy, am i glad! then one day, my teacher call me, he said im not the last 40, so i gotta change class. but becuz i took art, i was going back to the same class, the art stream - last class. so there's no changes made. i decided to haf fun wif B, we were sms-ing that time. i told him i'll be going to other class next yr. then he just call me. i dunno why, but he got sorta worked up. he's like "wat talkin you? wat happened? why you not same class with me? why liddat??" i wuz tryin hard not to luff and pretendin sad.. so i told him everything, and in the end, he knew i "dua" him. and he juz luffed it off. one thing i notice abt him, he like to act cute when talkin on fone wif me. i dunno wat got into him, but he's sure sooooo cute. and oh yah, he keeps mentioning that im alot like his ex, the way i talk e.g ( keep askin "why" ). the way i sms e.g ( like sms halfway will doze off..) and im afraid that [b]IF im able to be with him, its bcuz im his ex's sub?? but i noe there wun be any possibility btw the both of us, though. Rolling Eyes

and now, he made me forget A and i cant forget him...how how how...wats this... Confused [/b]

Mr. Green u r kinda young 2 b gettin into dis now. and i suspect he may be even less mature in dis aspect. but its ok if u remember dis proly wun be ur last bgr n take it easy. seems u guys oledi hit off quite well as friends whichs good for starters. no need to officially declare to him opening ceremony of bgr, at least i never belived in its relevance anyway. carry on as close friends and share deeper into each others lives. dun worry abt him gettin a girlfriend just becos u din book him first. dat move wud hav been tactically redundant. btw i was tokin oni abt 'B' all the time. forget abt 'A' n his arrogant ways. Mr. Green

WrX_STi SG

hit off alreadi with "B" dun move in too fast onli to realise later u both can onli be real gd frens..

some are meant to be juz very gd frens....

Yunhaier SG

By now, you have discover that a young love (nothing to do with age, but by the maturity and experience of love exploration) is fickled and unpredictable. The feeling you are undergoing - is what positive side of love is all about - fun, thinking of him, cute talks, intimacy (to certain extend), etc.

A isn't love at all - its merely a crush on someone who doesn't have any mote of feelings for you. Love that we cannot have - is the one who feel the most, hurts the deepest and remembered the longest. B is a fine example of how love can be cultivated subconsciously. Rolling Eyes

You learn as your move on in life. By seriously, now isn't the right age to tangle yourself with such issues. You learn - but that doesn't mean you have to enter into a relationship with him because like what it is mentioned: are you willing to risk friendship for a love on account that young love are fickle and unpredictable? Rolling Eyes

P.S: Its good to enjoy each other company and best to keep it this way then. Remember if this still happen until you finish your sec sch, you can post another topic - I will reply you again because by then, you will be pretty sure of what is your relationship with him.

Cheers

Devil1976 SG

Cool I say you've only got to live ONCE... You may laugh, you may cry... That's a human's life... You're still YOUNG and certainly life would become much more complicated than it is now probably in years to come... If your relationship with him don't work out, doesn't neccesarily mean that you can't be friends still... (though at such a tender age as both of you, it's quite unlikely that you'll just remain as friends like before...) And even if you go on a relationship with him, it certainly doesn't neccesarily spell 'happily ever after'....? Life... Sometimes you grab it, you lose it.... But that's not the end of the story ok...? And that's the magical part about it.... Smile