How do I make her tell?

iori8888 SG

Hai~
I don't know how long more I can last before I grab her and shout "Can you farking tell me what is you farking problem?"

A female friend of mine...
She got problem but she kept it to herself...

Sad "It's not that I don't want to tell you... but it's really cannot tell..."

Sad "It's not as simple as you think..."

Sad "You won't be able to accept it..."

Crying or Very sad "Do you think I am a s|ut?"

"If I tell you... you will despise me... you will really despise me..."

Sad "So what if you know... you won't be able to change anything..."

These are what she had said at different times...
I really don't know what to do anymore...
It's really driving me crazy...
I can't sleep and study properly worrying about her...
I've told her before but she just tell me "Don't worry lar... I'm okay..."
But it's not like I want to worry lor... I can't control one lor...
Telling me that she's okay and put up a smile... but I caught her crying at night(s)...

Please I need to know what to do to make her tell me...

realitybites SG

Hmmm maybe u can try assuring her that you'd not view her any differently regardless of what she has to say. Let her know that u'd be there for her and let her feel your sincerity...probably she'd open up to you.

Smile

the Bear SG

funny thing about this...

they tell you not to worry about it, and you don't, you WILL be in trouble Razz

iori8888 SG

It's a single person...

the Bear SG

i know.. but ladies in general seem to be like this..

doghouse837 SG

seems like u are having the same problem as i am facing now
a ger also tell me those words
is the a new way of gers getting attention??
i know they have problems too, and i wish to hel
but they dont seems to trust anyone loh
Crying or Very sad

iori8888 SG

I don't think so cause she is crying...
There's no reason for her to "fake crying" to me...
She is a friend of mine who sometimes go my house to stay...
I can't consider her as my "good" friend because I don't think I know her well enough... although we are quite close...

GHoST_18 SG

it is true tat all girls have these problems...???

when u ask.... they dun tell...

when u dun ask... they say u aint concern abt them...

im oso facing these problems...

Neutral Neutral Neutral

Devil1976 SG

Then why are you so concerned?

shaunlaw SG

If she dun wish to tell, no matter wat u do she will not tell. FOrcing her or persuading her to tell will only lead to more problems for her and more unhappiness for her. So i suggest u sit back and wait for her to tell u on her will. Just be there and encourage her can le. Dun ask her to tell if she dun wan to.

35MM Gunner SG

POW treatment

Cool

audlenelee SG

purposely one lah...

the more she say she dun wanna say, the more she WANS to tell u.. just dat she wans to feel dat someone is concerned abt her...

try lor... u dun mention anything abt the matter again, see if she will call u again just to say no one is concerned abt her...

germanium85 SG

I am sure bout something…. U r in love with her…

iori8888 SG

No... Not good friend but still a friend lor...
You try lar... You everytime see a girl cry like that...
Rock also melt lar... Confused

Homebody SG

My Advice:

This kinda case gotta give gentle ultimatum!

I.e. Just tell her that you know she got problem but refuse to tell you. So, you are not gonna ask her anymore and you will let her settle it herself but in any case if she is prepared to tell you, just let her know you will be around.

You have to harden your heart a bit and ignore her crying for sometime.

Girls when they see no response of concern from guys to their crying will find other ways to seek attention from you. However, there's the stupid 1% girls who will commit suicide one. Just pray hard that your girl is not that 1 %.

tSuYOshi SG

errr, this sort of situation, jus leaveit untouched ba, cool down first, if she wan to tell she will tell ba, if not dun force it, "mian qiang shi mei you xin fu de" Idea

tSuYOshi SG

errr, this sort of situation, jus leaveit untouched ba, cool down first, if she wan to tell she will tell ba, if not dun force it, "mian qiang shi mei you xin fu de" Idea

tSuYOshi SG

errr, this sort of situation, jus leaveit untouched ba, cool down first, if she wan to tell she will tell ba, if not dun force it, "mian qiang shi mei you xin fu de" Idea

looksee SG

1. Keep on making WILD GUESSES (e.g. - you trade sex for $$$?, you got raped?, you slept with so & so?) on what's troubling her, say them one by one, slowly, & observe her reactions, till you see tell-tale signs on whether you've hit the jackpot.

2. Cook up a story. Tell her that you know someone who had gone thru some bad experiences (story-telling time, the worse the better) before & had since recovered & that you find it okay & took it very well...say it's normal as human beings do make mistakes...then slowly, tactfully ask her WHAT HAPPENED.

3. Tell her you FOUND OUT what happened already. See what she has to say & carry on ACTING & PROBING from there...

iori8888 SG

Actually I've posted the 'story' before... If some of you could remember...(Greg, Dan, Dan's dad... can't remember what else did I use...)

Although till now she still didn't tell but it seems that my conclusions are most probaly right... But I just don't want to say it unless she herself tell it to me...

The 'story' is too tragic to make wild guesses... It might just remind her what had happen and drive her crazy...

I had left it to her to cool down and settle it herself... I do not know if this kind of thing happen to a girl how much time they will need to do that... but It's been more than 6 months...

I do not think she will be the 1% who will commit suicide because I told her this before... there are a lot of people now living and caring for you... if something happen to you... they might not be able to continue...

Sad to say but I really can't be sure that I will not view her differently after she tell me... that's why I can't tell her I will not view her differently regardless of what she has to say...