thanks for yr advise, however, begining close to the guy, and
understand him and his problems, i dare say that my ans are similar
to his.. so here im trying to help him by posting.
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
This guy wants to have the best of both
world. He retain the feelings of both lady, yet feeling down
because of their reaction and behaviour due to him. If he really
cares for:
A: He wouldn't have two time her and brought in unwanted trouble
into the relationship. The crack in the relationship has been very
deep and the his consideration to fling and get another girl shows
that his relationship with her is descending to destruction.
yes, it was really like that in the
beginning. He is not willing to leave because of her
tendency to play sucide and because of the 6 years - this is
definitely NOT love. he knows that all,
but he is really at wits end (maybe that's his weak pt, he doesnt
know how to handle such stuff)ay, however, have HE ever have
heart-to-heart talk about the problems in the relationship? I doubt
a good attempt has been made. he tried
very hard too.. seriously, i can vauge for that He fear this
fear that, such an excuse to avoid playing the 'bad guy'. WHATS the
use of having a empty relationship? Then what is his reason for
remaining in the relationship since he has no possible future and a
breakup in the future is definite? (I am pretty sure of this,
because of statstics and similiar case studies) 
B: She has met him in a pub. Both fling with each other. He ought
to know that in this game of love - you can't expect a proper
serious relationship out from him. She did, and he lead her. On the
surface, it seemed like both are the willing party. But in actual
fact, the original chips that they played had grown by proportion.
This guy is looking for substitute from his problematic
relationship - he seek for shelter. i
guess so.. but that human nature when u come to think of that..
anyway it has happen, i guess quite a handful wld actually stop and
tink, otehrwise alot of things will not have happen. This
girl, being the innocent party, still decide to play along the game
when the truth is reveal. He mentioned break-up, yet he was a half
hearted effort. Again, this shows this fear of being the 'bad guy.'
He considered himself (subconsciously gnawing selfishness), and not
for the long term sake for them.
An analogy would be, if you have cash to invest in
finanicial plan A or B. Plan A gives you immediate cash, although
you will lose out in the long term. y A
gives immediate cash ? Plan B gives you virtually no cash at
the beginning, but forever, you will benefit when time pass.
G: Nothing much to say about him. His changeability and indecisive
nature will eventually be the death of him. In the end, he wouldn't
end up with either one of them - It would be someone else. What
kind of relationship can your expect from deception, lies and weak
foundation? Anyway, he plans to fling with B, but decide that she
is not bad, therefore change his rule. Oh pls, once it is deemed as
a fling, its virtually foolish and tootpid to treat it like a
serious relationship. He longs for his looks and figure in the
beginning (theory of fling), [b]how can you turn lust into
love? i think there's a
possiblity, coz i have seen g and b together before and they are
like real couples, few weeks back, b got herself into bad shape,
she was having bullimia.. but less serious wan.. she weigh more
than 60kg.. but g was there..and they like normal couples, a talk
with g tells me tat he is really in for b roll:
Conclusion?
G needs to learn to be a man and talk to them like a man towards
his women and learn to stop avoiding and putting
problems aside. He has been doing for so many years, is he still
going to do that? Trust me, with a good talk (essentially for their
own good), and a conclusion for their plight, he has to uphold the
decision and cannot do it half-heartedly. He has to leave the two
woman because none of them will be willing to see themselves losing
to the other party. His talk must be firm, taking lead, instead of
letting circumstance lead him (that's what he always do) and must
not fear that they will attempt sucide because this talk is
essentially a speech to clarify and present the issue on the table
and solve it like a mature love.
He has to reflect and ponder about the rational of
his love definition. He has to cease contact with them for min one
year and must cease doing 'things' that will indirectly create
phantasmal feelings for him. (sweet SMS, cards, emails, etc)
P.S: Both relationship are unhealthy and cannot grown beyond a
certain percentage. It will remain stagnant and probably decline
over the years. Theory of Love law eight states that Lying destroy
intimancy. Both relationship have been shipwreck. One chapter must
close before the next one can open - he is the key to the ending of
this chapter. If not, everyone cannot advance to
the next phrase of their life.
Cheers[/b]
