Come on guys gimmie your 2c worth

DarrenWong SG · 2003-08-26T02:43:47+00:00

haha i also forgot sia lol! i go check it out man…..

DarrenWong SG

ok..... guys here goes nuttin man.....
i've never ever forgotten abt my ex(alpha) whom i broke up with 3 yrs ago. it didnt end well. the reason of the brk up was becuz of infidelity. she didnt noe abt it when i mentioned the brk up... i felt dat i've done her wrong and shldnt stay on wif her cuz i didn't feel gd enough for her anymore.... she found out abt it through a gd friend of mine and i know it really hurt her deep man... she always had a special place in my heart even though i went into another relationship as time went by.... ours lasted for a yr followed by another which lasted 2 yrs.... during this period of time i've always tried to find out how she was doing and stuffs. i even quarrelled wif my ex(beta) over her.
Abt 1/2 a yr ago i had a small tiff with alpha over some small thingy. it was a misunderstanding and she was kinda pissed abt it and we stopped talkin to each other. i was kinda sad abt it cuz i suddenly lost a very very gd friend. she didnt want to pick up my calls or even authorize me in icq.
Beta and i broke up 3 mths ago. ok dis is another story which i dun wish to disclose it'll take ages. Now i'm single and enjoying the life of a bachelor. it's gd man diff girls to go out with and stuff no restrictions. but at the end of it all there's still dat loneliness deep inside. U guys shld noe wat i'm driving at.
I suddenly thought of alpha and wanted to know how she's doing and stuffs. i didn't have the guts to do so. i tried for abt 1/2 a yr to get her to talk to me but to no avail. So i got a very brother of mine to find out for me cuz he and alpha were on quite gd terms. And he tells me alpha always asks abt me how i am and the usual stuffs.
i also plucked up the courage to send her an email talkin abt wanting to settle our differences and blah blah blah. And after since she finally authorized me in icq and told me abt receiving the email. I WAS ECSTATIC MAN. dat was abt 3 daes back.
Since den i chatted abt twice wif her on icq. Still didnt have the courage to call her. The chat wasnt very gd. It was kinda like a hi bye friend kinda chat. i asked her out yesterdae through the chat. Before i could get a answer from her, she was like asking me go where, do wat, where i got the free tix from, why i wont be out wif my frens, blah blah blah. it was reallie ALOT of questions lor. i was like WAHLIEW DUN MAKE ME WAIT JUZ ANSWER ME kinda feeling. Den she suddenly stop replying me. i waited for bloodie 15 mins and she still didnt reply. So i called her on the hp. She didnt pick up at all and suddenly she replied on icq 'wad'. 'call me for wat' 'hp bill expensive' 'i dun like to talk on the phone when i am chattin wif others online'
I was like...... wahlan eh pls give me an answer yes or no. but i didnt sae dat lah. when i still asked her for an answer... she replied 'i dunno yet... but dun think so la.... u go find others to go with you.' i was like...... sigh.....

ok dats the end of the story..... wat i'm feeling now is..... i'm not like wanting her back ( ok lah maybe abit lah)
i juz dun want to lose her as a friend.... she definately has a very very high potential to be wonderful life long partner....
my friend says she still wears the pendant i gave her 3 yrs ago....
i know if i want her back chances are definately very slim cuz of wat happened before... the fear is definately still there....

So ladies and gents.... i juz wanna hear from you guys.... shld i try to step into her life again or juz leave her as she is now happy and enjoying herself.....

sorry for the long post and thkz for reading...... cheers!

Marmalade Boy SG

From what you wrote, i think that she still loves you very much but she dare not be with you... maybe due to being hurt by you and all. (This was what i think when i read the part highlighted in red) As i read more, (the part highlighted in green) i think she is just too scared to meet up with you although she really wants to. Maybe due to depressed memories and stuff. Your ending story, (the part highlighted in blue) to me, she has already move on with her life but because she was once yours. She just wanted to know how you are doing and living your life. Most girls are like that so just get used to it.

Even if she wears the pendant that you gave her, it might be because she loves the pendant you gave due to fond sweet memories. Even if you want her back now, i don't think that she is ready to give you another chance.

If i were you, no matter how it hurts... i would let her go because it takes time for her to trust you again and to gain that trust again it hell not going be one easy job. Just let nature take its own course and just talk to her as a normal friend. But if she is meant to be yours... one fine day she will come back to your arms. Till then the choice is yours... wait for her or move on.

sillyme SG

she has given the friendship another chance, as she see your sincerity... it doesn't mean she wants you back as a boyfriend...

treat the friendship as with starting from ground.. so don't feel the urge to "bring back the feelings" again..

{WuMing}78 SG

Just as a bird longs to fly in the open sky, man longs to follow his own desires.

you know what's the problem...... you know how to do it right.......

now the problem is whether you truly want what you desire.....

Devil1976 SG

In my Personal opinion. She's probably still interested, but that doesn't give you a 'green light' straight away. Is she currently attached? Perhaps it's because of the 'fear factor' years back like you've mentioned.

It's not just a matter of whether you should step into her life, it's also a matter of whether she would allow you to?

But in case you really have got a chance with her again... Try to take things slower this time round....

Yunhaier SG

You want a friendship (minimum), anything further than that would be a bonus.

Probably it's the same with her - just that she would rather remain anoymous while knowing that everything is fine in your life. Many people falls under this category because time went pass so long without contacts and any sudden contacts may seemed awkward. Rolling Eyes

Even though you both have known for years, nevertheless, this awkwardness will exist.

To handle this situation is to avoid making hasty decision. She is a girl and would have her woman's intuition to depend & guide her in making her choices. You mentioned that the chat wasn't very gd - this implied that she wasn't very keen OR wasn't very comfortable to chat with you. Rolling Eyes

Like trust - such issues have to build slowly and gradually. When you initiated an outing, she paused and asked useless questions NOT BECAUSE she wants to make you wait - rather she wants to buy time to consider carefully if she should go anot.

When you actually called - its the pressuring tactics that she retreated from - therefore rejecting your date.

What should you do? Rolling Eyes

Learn the art of respecting inter-personal space and freedom. You should understand that you could and would be very comfortable to have a nice chat, go out, etc with her, but that doesn't mean that she would feel the same way.

Everything must happen slowly, but gradually. Feelings and good will must be build steadily before the willingness to open and approach can take place. Rolling Eyes

Take things slow - you have nothing to lose out and probably have all the time in the world to employ.

Cheers

DarrenWong SG

thanks alot guys.... i already know wat 2 do... but juz got no guts man..... juz needed abit of support la.... yunhaier i like your quote man......

Take things slow - you have nothing to lose out and probably have all the time in the world to employ

thkz all again

Yunhaier SG

I told you I love listening to stories ya? Twisted Evil

So finally found the time to tell them?

/me slap a pat onto DarrenWong

Cheers

jpgnfX SG

jio her back la ccb.. obvious she likes u u like her..
break her heart once liao.. now ur chance to be good to her..
mai like me. break once liao no chance patch. regret lai bu ji.

DarrenWong SG

haha i've got more man.... but it's the past already.... no point talking abt it anymore man...

jpgnfX SG

nv too late.

AaLviNn SG

its very obvious that u still occupy a special place in her heart, else why would she still be wearing your pendant for 3 yrs, and kept asking about u from ur bro.

probably she's trying to play hard-to-get, see if u r REALLY sincere about asking her out n stuff.. tat's y she said the "y not ask ur frens" kind of thing. probably u shld juz sae u juz wanna go out with her, den drop little hints to tell her tat maybe u 2 can be together again..

but do take things slowly though. n be sure to treat her much better than however u did last time? cos if u screw up again, she'll lose all the faith, trust and hope in you, and since u said she's got potential to be your "The One", don't let her down.. cherish her like u would cherish urself ( :

jOhO SG

wah lan eh... this one really OOOH HIAK man...

u in same camp as me.. and at ur stage i had a DAMN similar situation to u also.. kaoz.. except the "break period" not as long as urs..

the way u described her also zhun zhun, still holding on to stuff that u gave her, asking about u, but when she's talking to u she puts on the cold front and "protects" herself, becos like you, i hurt her too (not infidelity tho Twisted Evil )

my goodness i suddenly flashed back 7 years... Confused

ok.. now for the 2 cents.

i'm gonna go against the "flow" her and ask u to WHACK.. give her a good one, er.. not in THAT way hor.

she needs to be touched above and beyond her fear now. she needs your help to overcome this protection from u that she has built over the months/years..

and hor.. please.. u say u dun wanna get back with her, ok maybe a little? mauhahahah u know how loud i laff when i read that.. mai keh keh lar brudder!!!! Twisted Evil

u dun wanna get back with her, but u take the time and effort to post here and get advice/opinions? ahahah yeah rite lor!!

hey man best wishes, u can do it. just make sure u are sincere, and of course, dun fu[/i]ck up again.. Mr. Green

jOhO SG

oh btw.. time to update the pendant..

they still sell the cdo wing pendant rite? that time bought from the gift shop. every cdo will wear it (i am still! right now!) and so will their gfs... Twisted Evil Mr. Green

NathanG5 SG

u god damn TROOPER!! u think too much...pls wake up now n prepare to go Sentosa Very Happy

DarrenWong SG

alamak she not wearing dat wing man she's wearing a winnie the pooh pendant..... and i also have dat cdo pendant too but i gave it to my kopasuss buddy when i went there.... the soldier was dam touched man... now i dun have money buy another one le....... sob sob wait for next pay day loh.....

jOhO SG

wah so u not wearing? how cannnnnnnn??

and.. u better save up for TWO ... not just one. Twisted Evil

DarrenWong SG

lol...... i'll get 1 1st la hor..... dun wanna put too much hopes man..

jOhO SG

i tell u one time hor, this situation, u have no confidence, then u my as well not try anymore.

she WILL tell u that she can't do it becos u might hurt her again. if u hem and haw at that statement and catches u unaware, that's it, case close.

good luck buddy!! for honour and glory!!!! *bleah*

Twisted Evil

DarrenWong SG

haha dun worry man i'm fully prepared for anything dat comes..... and i'll be SWIFT & DEADLY.... keep your 'bleah' to urself and sharve it in the arse! haha