Maybe I should tell you all a story.....
Part I
Many years ago...... I met a girl in my class. She is not the most
prettiest girl in my school, but in my eyes, she is the prettiest
to me....
we are from the same ECA too so we get to meet each other often.
Unfortunately, she fell for one of my best friend. I could only
watch in dismay that she is out of my clutch.
However, due to some unforseen circumstances, their relationship
didn't last long. I was shamefully enough to admit that at that
time I was "happy" that I still had the oppotunity.
We were still best friends at that. We talked, joked, went out and
makan often. I guess I was a shy kid at that time, so I didn't dare
to propose. And further more, I did not know how to understand how
she was feeling about her breakup and her thoughts at that moment.
It had been a long time before I gathered enough courage to propose
to her. However, she was shock by it and ran away. At that time was
the fall of our firendship.
Though our friendship is strain, sometimes we still keep in
contact. However, it was a brief one and she was always trying to
run away from me.
I could not take it anymore. Not in this kind of life where I could
only love someone and not have have her love. I told her that I
wanted to have a clean break and not to contact her anymore. She
also wanted it that way (reluntantly I am not too sure about it).
However, I guess I was too soft and still unwilling to let go of
it. I just proposed that we would not see each other for a few
months and see what happens next.
In the end, she e-mailed to me that "we no longer can be friends,
not anymore". She ran away from my world for real.
12 years of my lifetime, all I got is nothing, but created a
monster inside me.
