well...
1stly, to understd women its not like juz read biology textbk n u
will know them inside out, its thru ur EQ, life experiences tt u
gain ur knowledge from? 
2ndly, like wat every1 has been trying to tell u...nobody can help
u unless u urself make an effort to? thruout our lifes, there is
bound to hv both happy n sad experiences, if u only allow urself to
dwell in self pity n refuse to walk out the circle which u hv drawn
to close up urself who else can??
Lastly, hope this story helps....
LETTING GO
Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way.
They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you.
And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger
you. It's inevitable.
Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's
words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive
action made by another person, you're headed for deeper
problems.
In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll
get.
You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And you'll
find your productivity slowing down as you find more and more time
thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually,
if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.
So what should you do the next time someone betrays you?
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even though
the other person may be at fault, even though the other person
wronged you, you are still responsible for your own feelings.
In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings. You
choose them.
For example, two different people could be told that their
suggestions made at the staff meeting were stupid and idiotic." One
person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any
other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry
for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and
necessity of her suggestions.
As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you
believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck. You're a
helpless victim.
But if you recognise the fact that you choose your feelings and you
are responsible for your feelings, there's hope. You can take some
time to think about your feelings. And you can decide what is the
best thing to say or do.
Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM
DISAPPOINTMENT. It's difficult to do, but it's possible.
The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved
that.
After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French
Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed the manuscript and
took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to
read it.
Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into
the fire. In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that
his work had been destroyed.
Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right,
Mill. These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over.
I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in
my mind. Go, my friend! Do not feel bad."
As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window. Carlyle turned
to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am
by this misfortune." And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the
manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again."
Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great
classics of all time. He had learned to walk away from his
disappointment. After all, what could Carlyle have done about his
burnt manuscript?
Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript. All Carlyle
could do was to get bitter or get started. And what can you do
about anything once it is over? Not much. You can try to correct it
if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if it isn't. Those
are your only two choices.
Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up. It's like
the farmer who had an old mule who fell into a deep dry well. As he
assessed the situation, he knew it would be difficult, if not
impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep well.
So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well.
After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so he could solve
two problems at once. He could put the old mule out of his misery
and have his well filled.
The farmer asked his neighbours to help him with the shovelling. To
work they went. As they threw shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full
of dirt on the mule's back, the mule became frightened.
Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each time they would
throw a shovel-full of dirt on his back, he would shake it off and
step up. Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shake it off
and step up. In not too long a time, the exhausted and dirty mule
stepped over the top of the well and through the crowd.
That's the same approach we all need to take. We need to shake it
off and step up.
Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult,
especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness
or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is
clearly in the wrong.
Part of the difficulty comes from a common is understanding of
forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behaviour is okay.
And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook.
He's still responsible for his misbehaviour.
Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's
about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviours.
It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the
future.
Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to
disappoint you. If you know how to respond to those situations,
you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above
and beyond your circumstances.
Ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me?
Am I happier holding on to it?
Do I sleep better?
Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my
bitterness?"
If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a
decision.
Let it go....
