Patching with ex.. have you?

last SG · 2003-08-12T20:05:18+00:00

what the hell do you think you are? a goddamned horse?

AaLviNn SG

Most of us have been in a r/s before, some more than others, but has anyone here ever broke up with someone you love/like so much, then after a few months, or a long while, you 2 are back together? In between this break – patch period, does you, or he/she have any other r/s?

Marmalade Boy SG

This have happened to me quite a number of times. It really depends on whether you both offically broke up or not. If you didn't then it wouldn't be right to go and look for another relationship. There was once when my girl and i didn't mention anything to each other just totally stop meeting, smsing and calling each other but we never got into another relationship. I remember that it was 4 months before we started meeting and all. Usually, it depends on the person's personal point of view.

AaLviNn SG

for me it was like urs, she stopped picking up my calls, didn't reply my sms and all, all the while kept trying to get her, then she said she got no feelings for me, all of a sudden.

then erm, she got a bf in days, after spending 3yrs wif me. i didn't suspect anything wrong before that, though she got in new sch, met new friends, got so popular in sch, this guy who likes her treats her so well and all.. then i was busy wif projs, so sort of neglected her. then poof, she's gone.

was thinking if we could ever be back again after some time.. only time will tell \=

Imperfect SG

Ever thought of why she can leave u whom she was with for 3 yrs for someone she jus know not long ago??? will u still want to have her back???

AaLviNn SG

as a couple we had little quarrels here n there, little break-ups... i wasn't a good enough bf probably.

probably when i was neglecting her cos of my projs, that guy appeared and, like a typical guy-who-likes-a-girl, he would do everything to care for her.... rite? mabbe tat's why he got her attention. its all just my side of guessing.

i too, do not know what to do, IF she ever returns one fine day... probably i will already have someone who pampers me already? that'll be a dilemma, which only need to be thought about in the future IF that really happens.[/b]

dunch^noe SG

patch b4..but both of us nvr haf r/s in between=)

AaLviNn SG

mmm okay..
damn my mirror fell by itself n broke. bad omen?
anyway she said no matter how i change for her, she wun be back. so most probably we'll never be together anymore.

she should be enjoying her new lease of life, new sch, new frens now. and i can only wish her all the best. didn't want her to go, but she is..

Imperfect SG

Originally posted by AaLviNn:

as a couple we had little quarrels here n there, little break-ups... i wasn't a good enough bf probably.

probably when i was neglecting her cos of my projs, that guy appeared and, like a typical guy-who-likes-a-girl, he would do everything to care for her.... rite? mabbe tat's why he got her attention. its all just my side of guessing.

i too, do not know what to do, [b]IF she ever returns one fine day... probably i will already have someone who pampers me already? that'll be a dilemma, which only need to be thought about in the future IF that really happens.[/b][/b]

U had little quarrels doesnt mean there are nothing bothering her... did u pick up any signs of her also distancing away from u beside u being busy with your projects?

AaLviNn SG

mm nope. except for one of th saturdays that she was supposed to come my house company me as usual, then she was sick so i told her i'd cook barley water for her.

but she had to stay at home cos her friends coming to do proj. i mean at that time, tat's normal, i'm not posessive, so i didn't ask this n tat. but i did call her ask how she was feeling..

wuluman SG

well, in my case.. me and my gf broke up after 1yr 5 mth+.. i didnt realise our r/s was hanging…the moment she initiate a breakup, i was stun..right now she have a bf.. wait or dun wait, i not so sure.. perhaps there mayb another 1 in my heart when she come back? den its bery jialat.. duno hw.. aniwae..our r/s cock up i tink i am at fault too..knwing the real reason for our breakup and nwing she got bf..wad i did was the wish her happiness.. though its hard seeing her with another guy, but sincerely i wish her all the best..

AaLviNn SG

when we say the word "regret" its always too late already isn't it. the words "should have"s and "if only"s are there for a reason. it meant we have learnt from our mistakes, and don't repeat the same mistakes again.

well we're quite the same, so the most gentlemanly thing to do was to wish her the best. and i was also wondering if i should wait for her to come back, then it struck me that if another better girl comes along, why let this new girl pass by? u get wat i'm trying to say? just live ur life as normal, w/o her..

mabbe the breakup made by God is to prepare us for something better in the future? be optimistic ba.. *sad*

Yunhaier SG

Hao ma bu chi hui tou cao

AaLviNn SG

the hui tou cao is still a very nice patch of cao..

Yunhaier SG

I dunno about you people - to me, breaking about moving on regardless of how difficult it is because once it is mentioned - in rare cases, it worth the patch. First patch will eventually lead to next break WITHOUT SUFFICIENT rest and reflection of both parties. (Suggested sufficient rest is minimum one year). Seriously speaking, how many actually patch back years later? Probably pretty uncommon. (I knew of cases, but its not common) Rolling Eyes

People fear to move on their life by themselves, when time pass, they did moved on, fall in love with other people, etc. Fate may not brush again since. Then patching back may not be easy.

*Probably if I find Uranus affliction in our synastry chart - then I will do alot of explaination/nagging on the positive/right way to handle problems in relationship before this relationship set off.*

What is regrets? Basically, its the events/choice/circumstances that you never chose or truely finish. If you were to turn back time and change your alternatives - how sure is it going to be that you will be truely happy with that decision? Rolling Eyes

Is it delaying the inevitable? Or truely changing the course of your life?

Cheers

AaLviNn SG

Originally posted by Yunhaier:

I dunno about you people - to me, breaking about moving on regardless of how difficult it is because once it is mentioned - in rare cases, it worth the patch. First patch will eventually lead to next break WITHOUT SUFFICIENT rest and reflection of both parties. (Suggested sufficient rest is minimum one year). Seriously speaking, how many actually patch back years later? Probably pretty uncommon. (I knew of cases, but its not common) Rolling Eyes

People fear to move on their life by themselves, when time pass, they did moved on, fall in love with other people, etc. Fate may not brush again since. Then patching back may not be easy.

*Probably if I find Uranus affliction in our synastry chart - then I will do alot of explaination/nagging on the positive/right way to handle problems in relationship before this relationship set off.*

What is regrets? Basically, its the events/choice/circumstances that you never chose or truely finish. If you were to turn back time and change your alternatives - how sure is it going to be that you will be truely happy with that decision? Rolling Eyes

Is it delaying the inevitable? Or truely changing the course of your life?

Cheers [/b]

does this resting you mentioned, include having a bf/gf in one's life in the meantime? think its pretty unfair to the other party if the other party does not get involved with another person..

steph`- SG

probably in a general view, if u 2 had been apart for a long period, there might be some r/s inbetween the times u 2 parted and the times when u 2 were back together.

But if she cant forget u or cant put u down, she might haf not gotten a new r/s.

It all depends

But as usual, no relationship is ever perfect or long ever lasting.. Especially when coming to patching. If u 2 were really perfectly meant together, why did u 2 decide to break? Sure that some problems have arisen. Some pple would mit such a circumstance that they haf to patch , break , patch and break numerous times, it ain't very surprising, Especially having to patch after a long period, the feeling might be the same, but how u 2 handle tings may not be the same like before.

AaLviNn SG

haven't been apart for a few days, and she got a boy already.. i kept trying to tell her, from a guy's pointofview, tat most, not all guys.. will be exceptionally caring, affectionate, dedicated to a girl during the dawn of a r/s. basically i can wish her all the best and all, but the impression that guy gives me, isn't very good.

we've had lots of break-patch stuff during our r/s, but its only until now, that i've truly learnt what's wrong with me. she said she don't love me anymore.. wat more can i sae. but i believe she should give me some time, to see if i've really changed after this major breakup, but nah, she ain't giving that chance to me. she's those clingy type, so the boy treats her superbly well for a few mths, then begin to show his true colors(hopefully not), she'll still cling onto him... tat was wad happened between us.. i nv cherished her, and now its too late

Yunhaier SG

This differ from case to case basis - most of the time, people walked onto other relationship by then and could be happier and bliss with their new half. That's why I said its pretty rare for patching to happen in this way (although it would probably be the best for long term sake) and this must applies to both parties. Rolling Eyes

Quote from steph`-: If it was worth patching, in the first place, why break? (If u 2 were really perfectly meant together, why did u 2 decide to break?)

In almost all cases (95%), problems could be solved - its always either of the party who gave up trying to solve them.

Cheers

AaLviNn SG

Yea, probably breaking up will do more good for me than her, cos I was at fault most of the time Sad

I've learnt alot through this breakup, bcos she is still someone I love so dearly, though to learn all these stuff, I gotta lose someone as nice as her. Its a big price to pay..

Also, she knows I've been changing for the better, but perhaps I wasn't changing as fast as things happen, so her patience has finally run out, and yea, if she's happy now, I'll be happy for her, and I'll still be here, for her to fall back on as a good friend.. if she wants to of cos, regardless of me having a gf or not, bcos I've let go of her, and I only am treating her as a very good friend who had been there for me the past 3 yrs to share my successes and failures, joys and sorrows.

Thanks people for your replies.. appreciated each and every one of them.

sgboy2004 SG

Rolling Eyes Crying or Very sad

Shocked