Originally posted by xian89:
Think tis is my first post here. Really hope to have
someone to talk 2 now....
people say "ignorance is a bless." This I strongly agreed. Remember
the days when we were young. Always so carefree n never have to
worry abt things around us, for our parents will be there looking
after us.
Many ppl who noes mi, will always say I m very blur. I dun seems
like a Singaporean coz I lack tat drive each singaporean possess. I
search myself for the answer n discover 2 factor lead to tis.
1) I dun have a good childhood. My
parents were always argueing n fighting sometimes. At times, I
always hope I cannot hear their quarrels. Perhaps I hope too
much.... now I m partically deaf.
I began to ignore things happenning around mi, not wanting to noe
how the world is spinning. I fear responsibility n especially
noeing abt all the things I never want to noe - my "old man"'s
mistress
What you've mentioned is very true, and not uncommon. But though as
much as you wanna turn a deaf ear to some things in your life, you
should learn to control what you wanna see and what you wanna
ignore. Having a 'total switch off' strategy is bad, and probably
gonna affect your overall performance and growth in life. You learn
things one step at a time. From ignoring, to accepting and facing
the fact that these are the realities in life.....
2) many ppl say I m a lucky man. Living in a exec appt n need not
bother abt most of the things as my "old man" will always arrange
for mi. Until now, I m still quite dependent on him for my daily
needs n tis I hate most.
You can always achieve to be independent? If you can't do it
overnight, do it in months... Or even years... Sooner or later
you'll just have to grow up and be independent..?
Today I confirm a fact which all tis yrs I want to noe. - my dad
have a mistress. How I noe? 1 person indirectly hint mi, while
another ask mi how I find my "2nd ma"(I DUN ACKNOWLEDGE). Putting a
mask, I reply "ok loh" ( wat else can I say)
when such things happen, try not to take it as a 'blow' just like
the way they'll show in the 'tragedies' in TV dramas, stories and
movies.... Take it as a natural fact and part of life which has
been existing even before you know it... Your knowing it is just a
confirmation of things.... A crossover from ideas to reality....
Other than that, the impact is up to you to create upon
yourself....
*Sigh* perhaps in 1-2 yrs time, my parents will divorce. I think I
have to start preparing to save $$ to buy a place to stay
dun like staying wif them anymore. I WILL
not ACKNOWLEDGE my "2nd ma". For my mother, I noe she will need my
support, but right now, I feel tat IF my parents were divorced, she
will start complaining day n night tat I like my father - have a
foul temper. Perhaps it's better tis way. at least we dun clash too
often like now....
What you think today may not be what you'll be doing tomorrow...
You can start to plan ahead for the future now if you want to...
But the strong emotional stir ups you're having now is not uncommon
as a human.... In time to come when these emotions have 'die down',
they'll probably present themselves in a different way... Won't be
very healthy if you don't handle them properly now.....
Advice : Try to keep your cool and plan for
whatever's the neccessary now so that you won't be receiving too
much of a shock when things happen in the future... Try to keep
other aspects of your life POSITIVE... Minimise the negative impact
things might have on you... When the storm is over, you'll probably
see yourself a better man.....
