Criteria

m.c.king SG

I went for a class gathering recently and the girls that I know are already in the working world with a stable income whereas I'm still studying in university bcos of NS and of course no income.

Assuming at this stage of my life I found someone attractive, should I try to go for it and probably try to get to know that girl better or wait until I'm in a better financial position later when I graduate and found a job. Of course, I also fear that by that time, the available ones have already become unavailable.

I think I'm a person who would go for a girl I know instead of trying to pick one up in some pub or off the street.

How and what would the majority of Sg girls think? Do they look at guys a possible mate as economic partner and would shun them if they're currently earning less than them (or nothing?) or would they be prepared to overlook a bit at least temporarily until I complete my studies?

sillyme SG

u think too much Razz
u like here, go for her.. like you said.. it's a process of getting know each other.. what happens next.. who knows? go and love like there's no tomorrow Smile

raingal SG

Just go for it… why you worry so much?

tequila SG

ya… if she really loves u, she won’t mind..

InVaa SG

ya go for it.. gd lucjk

m.c.king SG

actually, I've not comitted myself to be in love with her already. It just that during the gathering, I'm attracted to her personality and the way she speaks and reacts and would like to know her better and she said she's still single and available.

Problem is how to get near and to know her better on the sly. If I start calling her all of a sudden, she would start to suspect I'm interested in her and might shy away. I hope to know her (and for her to know me) better before I can tell if I really like her and then would tell her about it.

Also, I started the topic bcos I fear that my financial position would be hard to sustain a relationship. Definitely it's not like as if I don't wish to spend on cent at all, but still I would give her some gifts every now and then though I won't be able to afford expensive watches and jewelleries and I can't expect her to dine in foodcourts all the time for any dates rite?

Ecxentrique SG

well if she is an understanding individual who knows your position, and is willing to still be with you then i think its quite ok for you to go grab any weekend part time job and earn some extra income and treat her to some occasional fancy restaurants, if she is not understanding y bother to try for it in the first place?

Ecxentrique SG

i m not in a much better situation myself, but i m quite lucky to find someone who is willing to be a pauper’s gf. I just graduated, still job hunting, she is the same age as me so its kinda like wat u say. not all gals will be dat materialistic n be attracted to u on the basis of wat your pocket can offer them..but rather on the basis on how much your personality is compatible and how the both of you can complement each others lives.. its really more than fancy restaurants..

Yunhaier SG

The financial part of a relationship will automatically come as long as you put in your effort in your work in the future and stuff.

Why worry about such thing when you haven't even start getting to know her better? You want her to appreciate you as a friend or someone who can pay her for all the fine dinings? Rolling Eyes

Do you happen to know that one of the top ten mistake guys would make is to buy gifts in pretext of love? No money buy? Make something, write something, do something. Generally, girls are different from guys - they want to see effort and sincerity. The financial aspect only comes critical when your disposable income gets higher and probably around those marriaging age. Rolling Eyes

Yours is not even a relationship - financial aspect isn't a major factor, why worry so much?

You know what you truly lack? Confidences and lots of them. If you spend sometime working on them - it will do you a great favor in the chase.

Cheers

AzRaeL SG

get some money first and stabilize your financial situation, you’ll get a lot better quality girls.

cunfused2000 SG

Hmm... dun worry too much abt the money-side of things. Good advice here. Laughing It's true, when u r younger, sincerity and effort counts more than pure $$$.

However, u still have to deal with it some time, later or earlier.

I'll give u two examples:

1) Say you are in your early 20s... prob get to know the girl, just started work. u r still schooling. maybe just a few months into a job, you'll prb have a good relationship. No expensive presents are ok, no restaurants are ok, no vacations are ok. Small time stuff makes the girl happy Mr. Green because you are sincere and devoted.

But lemme tell u that once "The FUTURE" is talked about, inevitably, money will come into the picture. Not so much the lovey-romantic stuff but the "quality of life" you'll lead together. Is it enough for her?

2) How about comparisons to her ex-es or her close guy friends? They earn a lot more than you do and possibly, more than u'll prob attain in your life (maybe unless ur a bookie or loanshark).

She'll inwardly compare u to what sort of lifestyles they had been leading. So, even if she is all nice-sweet-unconcerned-abt-wealth, she'll still think of the $2K allowance she gets from her i-banker boyfriend who actually employed a maid because she says she don't want to clean the house they share.

Oh heck, decide for yourself. Just telling u the ugly side since most here are very nice and sweet and ideal.

Tweety SG

You should be concentrating on your studies...Study is your 1st prority..The requiremnts what a gal wants from a guy:-
1) Stable Job
2) Stable finanical
3) Secure
4) Happiness

Take for an example if you do not have stable job, you will not have a stable finanical. You will be able to give the gal whom you like or love any happiness and secure that she wants.

Do you wants to quarral with your gf everiday regarding the finanical issue. Do you wants her to be happy or do you wanna her to suffer with you for the near future if both of you will to get married.

I believe you are mature enuff to know what is best for your future. Which one has the most impact for your future. There are many factors that you should consider very carefully. Nowadays, it getting tougher to survive in Singapore as technology is getting more and more advance; furthermore Singapore is a very reality society.

Some of my guy frds did told me b4 why they do not wants to have a gf cos they dun have the roots of the finanical stable unable to give the gal any happiness if she will to stick with him. He will not let the gal to suffer with him, he wants the gal to be happy.

Smile Wink