I think I will have a nervous breakdown one day

jonalim SG · 2003-07-10T12:37:05+00:00

ren bi ren qi shi ren…........

jonalim SG

It has been since sec 3 that I feel the pressure from exam, test, school. ETC. I am becoming a more and more paranoid person till today, a JC 1 student. I am always afraid that I will not do well for exam and worse still, I wan to outwit all my fellow classmates. And I have been "fearing" that they are doing the same to me too. I will always ask to "check" how long they have studied today..etc. Sometimes, they simply don't offer help when I needed and brush my question off with - "Don't know how to do it too". If you really dunno, why dun u stay and solve this problem with me? Everyone seems to be putting a fake front. I don't have low EQ. I find myself as someone who can think critically. I am taking up leadership position in school and maintain excellent relationship with teachers and my classmates. But sometimes when nearing exams, I began to "feel" that they are changing to become self-centred.

Ask them what homeowrk, what have they studied, what to study, what topics for exam. Same freaking answer- Don't know!

This problem that I am facing has not affected my life much actually. My parents, friends (outside my class), and relatives are seeing me as those "good and smart" type who can handle things critically and won't have to face any problem in studies. Indeed, I do not have problem with my results actually but the process during that I am studying is killing me. Even if someone never reply to my sms, I will feel damn paranoid that that person has no intention to be friends with me.

My parents won't understand much either. They have never been through the kind of mental torture I am going through right now. All they know is-- Study hard and don't waste our money. Next time work, still need to take care of us. WTF! I hear already, everytime get so fed up that I really feel like leaving them for good if not for the financial support that they are giving me right now. If only I can get out of this monotonous cycle of lifestyle and start working.

WORSE thing is that I am referred as those "jian" type in my class. My objective of study is to learn new things and not just for exam. So when I tell my friends that I studied the minimum for exam, which is true, but topped the class for 2 subjects, they all call me fake and started to call me names behind my back. This is damn hurting, and they all don't seem to be aware about it. I somehow feel that my trust in them has been lost for good and now, if I don't tell them, they say I'm selfish. If I tell them the truth that I study that minimum much for exam only, they will call me liar! It's so hard to strike a balance in my life for those faggots.

the Bear SG

a lot of people face this.. but do not have your capacity for intellect...

they let things go in one ear, out the other...

if you are learning and not just studying for exams, you have a bright future ahead of you Smile

don't give up your dreams, whatever they may be, yah? Smile

as for pressures, talk to your folks.. in the way you posted but maybe in a softer way?

your friends will remain your friends, the others, you'll meet the same types again later in life... they are to be ignored but you gotta be wary of them...

all in all, you're doing well, facing the same pressures as many others (alas) in singapore...

good luck yah? try to keep positive Smile

NeonTetra SG

be the best you can. dont keep looking around and try to see if others are doing better…that’s unhealthy competition..and yes, u will have a nervous breakdown one day….. dont stress urself too much..do wat u can do and even if others give u a suspicious look…dont be bothered by it. I used to be in the same situation as you and suffered just like u but as times go by i began to loosen up the screw and live as per normal…....

Yunhaier SG

The influence you gotten for friends & your personality has causes you to become in a state now. Rolling Eyes

You mentioned you do not have low EQ - people who good EQ has no problem mixing around, being with people and interacting with them. However, your paranoid nature has indirectly causes people to repel you - which further deepen this panic.

Why do you want to outwit your classmate, do you know? A form of recongition because of the fact that you feel that they ain't bothering you. Subconsciously, you also craved for some reasonable attention that a group/couple of friends share. When result come out, you tell them you did mininal studying, of course, indirectly you are saying you are damn intelligent. Rolling Eyes

It will repel people.

You said you truely only did mininal studying - have you ever ponder over the fact that why you WOULD mentioned that in the FIRST PLACE? Well, just say you just studied for your exam and people wouldn't have questions about it anymore.

Feel that people is trying to outwit you? You are thinking far too much. Your desire and expectation is overwhelming, therefore they are the roots of your stress and tension. You will need to retreat, relax on your mind and heart. Too much mind competition, desire and wanting will make things worst. Rolling Eyes

Cheers

-=- [L]eonArD -=- SG

aiyah..if ur frens dun wanna help u u can always ask tichers wad.. u cant b so nerdy n study the whole day.
all work n no play made u.. relax man

wuming78 SG

hey relax! take a deep breath and njoy life! Wink

jeramy SG

just learn to relax dude. you cannot seek to control everything in your life.

antoh SG

we lll … this is part and parcel of life …. take it lightly … icq me at 35865179 if you have any questions .. .

MetalGear SG

bro, really... take it easy.. i know it sounds easy n hard to do... but pls.. take it easy. Sometimes i feel sorry for u top JC school students... majority of the students there are so competitive, it becomes a very hostile environment there. Studying becomes more of a way of competition... but u know whats the best thing? What u study is practically useless in the real world. I still wonder why i learnt so much, shed so much tears in my education to forget 80% of what i have learnt, where the real learning takes place in the outside world, where pple spit on u n fuck u upside down n see how u handle it..

Are u going to the army? Do u have to? if u do... good luck, that will be ur first test n learning exp! Better stop being so paranoid, fit in with the crowd.. dun try to be understanding... if u learn well, u will have higher EQ than ur peers... i remember when during BMT, got one of a bunk mate who is a scholar actually asked me how to die the easiest way, or maybe break his bones up like hell... i was speechless... had to have a good pep talk with him to fire him up, he is doing fine now. I was from CJC. great school... great education, great pple n great environment.

Back to pt, if u know ur classmates are so hostile, try to talk less about schoolwork.. trust me... it helps better... dun discuss about school work that much... be less paranoid. talk about more general, lighter stuff... Actually somehow i feel top JCs are the perfect starting breeding grounds for corporate back-stabbers... hmmm... If ur classmates are so cynical n hostile, ignore them n carry on with ur life.. u can alwaz find frens outside.. would u want to be frens with them? Focus on the end target, doing well for your A's n when u get into a new environment next time like the Uni, get it rite from the start. It's alwaz easier to blame everyone else n the environment.

pool.gal SG

Hi Jona,

You must be going through quite a bit. You sound frustrated. Maybe you are feeling that nobody (your family and school mates) understands what you are going through and that doesn't make it easier.

I gathered a few things from your post:
1) You have a interest to gain new knowledge which propels you towards new things. This makes picking them up much easier
2) Since you like new things, it's not mastering them but analysing them that you do
3) Hence it's much easier for you to grasp them, which accounts for the shorter time you need to absorb the info
4) Your love-hate relationship with your classmates stem from the fact that they are unable to understand how you put in little and do so much better
5) They have mistaken your honest confession as a sign of pride. Thus they hold back any information from you
6) They may look up to you but find it strange that you go to them for advise on topics and all. In fear (of losing out) they may clam up and shut you out.
7) Since your parents have not taken the path you are now on, they really have no idea what you are going through.

Your abilities aside, if you want to talk about making friends, you must be on the same level as them. No one likes to have someone smarter than them to be friends. Friends make you feel good about yourself and not the other way round. If you want genuine friends, you've to be one yourself. You are doing great at school and that's fantastic. Will you be wiling to share it with them and not fear that you have lost?

Primarily, tertiary education is to equip you with basic skills and more importantly the ability to analyse situations. What you face in the working world may be different from what you have studied. It's a process and not an end. You ability to analyse will put you in a better state, cos that's what employers will look for. But your relationship skills should be as strong cos no matter how smart you are, you still need to work with them. And you need to care for those you work with and not make them objects alone.

Enough said. What are your thoughts? Wink

Dino888 SG

Your classmates study like hell and still score lower than you... meaning ? You are telling them that they are STUPID AND YOU ARE CLEVER !! Because you study the minimum for the exams and yet top the class for 2 subjects..... .

WAKE UP your idea.................

shaunlaw SG

Life is full of these things. As u grow older, u will encounter more of the pressure from everywhere. So try to take it if u can, if cant, u can always tok to ppl here in aunt agony! Wink

Personally, i have been thru ur time as well. I used to score very well in tests and exams in sec sch. Then ppl will start to flock ard me and ask how i do tt , and all those qns. We do not want to be said of boosting, so we just said sth tts simple like we study the min. Then all those words come out. If u had said otherwise, it will stil turn out the same cos they can stil say u are siao, book worm all these.

Our parents haven been thru our stage of study so they will not know wat we are going thru. Lets not take it out on them and spare a tot for them. Afterall they are our parents. Back to my case, for me its as time go by, ppl start to catch up with me as i started to drop le. Then they will coe to ask me wat happen again and say tt i always top the class, now y this happen. Life is like tt, full of ups and downs. Even in uni now, i am facing those ppl fr overseas, its worse than in jc. And I am sick of competing with them cos they are damn more kiasu then normal singaporeans!!

So take things easy and u may find life more happy. Wink Cool

tiggersgd SG

4 days have passed, are you more paranoid than before? if not, you’re ok. otherwise, you’ll need to check in to IMH. stress and depression can get you down.

choco B SG

The regret here is that someone who wants to excel is forced to dumb down because of peer pressure. I can only take your word for it when you say you don't have low EQ - but that doesn't mean that your EQ is high either. I don't think you're a bad person by nature or a know-it-all. I think you just want to do well in school but this academic drive is alienating you from your peers.

The nerds are always ridiculed regardless of which school you study, because they're seen as outside of the norm. Unless there's a general nerdish school culture lah !

I don't think that it is entirely your fault that you cannot find friends. Sometimes we find outselves in the wrong place at the wrong time, and you just can't click with anyone.

And yet you can't survive alone. I think you should talk to your peers less about schoolwork and more mundane stuff i.e. talk kok. Else you're just no fun to be with.

Also, have confidence in yourself that you can stand alone, and accept the way you are. A clear conscience and inner strength will carry you through.

NeonTetra SG

join some CCAs and don be so kan cheong…..........

Forever84 SG

Nobody gives a shit
its a competitive world, everyone wants to outdo everyone.
what people will think would be. Why the hell do i want to help u beat me
Duh

Devil1976 SG

I admire your spirit for knowledge... How people address of you you won't have too much control over... Sooner or later the truth shall just surface....

I used to face the same situation as you've described your family... But things ain't exactly the same now... And I'm sure we're not the only ones facing this kinda 'addressing' from family... Try to take things easy for now....

Your attitude in probing into how your fellow students are doing and returning them with the idea of you couldn't be much bothered just don't match... When you ask so much about how people are studying and doing, people naturally believes that you're hot on the heels.... So it would seems 'fake' to them that you actually ain't mcuh concerned about studying for exams at all.... Try don't to probe too much into people's business especially during exams period where people are at 'high key'.....

w1nd SG

ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS, u CHALLENGE urself, not others in studies. U are not the same as others. Only challanged urself. Wat for go check out other ppl’s results n progresses? Make u more nervous only. This is UNNECESSARY. Does tat means tat if they nv study, u’ll let ur guard dwn? Hey come on, challange urself. U r ur own opponent. It may sound harsh but, u r generating problems for urself by doing wat u had been doing & thinking. I am sure if once u stop all these, all those bad names bout u will died down. Remember, even if u dun do well, dun go too panicky or wadeva, tell urself u’ll do better next time, take a days break or 2 days or wadeva, then start again. Its all in the mind.

sh|nY_BoY SG

Rolling Eyes take care..

Atakan SG

Everyone got their own standards...

your minimum=their maximum?

Not everyone is wise enough to see the whole pic other than first-person view.

should just say what u had studied. Help them by scaring them with ur zest and tips that u know. If u only seek to top the class, u will lose potential friends, cos u failed to share and render help.

U can't have best of both worlds. Either u help them and sacrifice urself, or dun help them and safeguard urself.