Love Story From Across the CauseWay

raraninja SG

I still remember vivildy when I was in primary 5....I used to see this pretty little girl playing outside the house whenever I passed by in my father's car....
Soon, it became a routine, everyday I will look forward to passing the house..hoping to catch a glimpse of the little play ger.
Due to some reasons which I still dont comprehend till today, my daily routine ended as suddenly as it had begun.

A few years must have passed when I saw her again and guess wat, she's my brother's best friend's youngest sister.
During the time when I was in secodary 1, I was active in organising community events in a local buddhist society, not so co-incidentally, she was also an active member of the society as her older siblings were active members.
Slowly during our weekly gatherings, I got to know her.....her name, the school she goes to, the place where she lives...
For the next 2 years, we worked on projects together...I grown to like her more over time...but still I let no one into my little secret...
Secondary 3 came....it was a crucial year for me for many reasons...
There was to be a national exams that year and I was expected to do well (my brothers set pretty high standards..).
Also, I wanted badly to come to singapore as I was the onli kid left back at home.
As my town is a relatively small one, the bicycle is the most popular mode of transportation. Every morning I would wake up at 6, change, have breakfast and begin my slow ride to school.

There was this particular morning as I was riding my "modified" bike to school, I thought I saw a shooting star...
Without hesitation, I made 3 wishes, hoping that they will come true just as what pple use to say...
No prizes for guessing...I made 3 wishes which were most important to me (in order of importance)

1. I wish she will be my gf
2. I hope I will be able to come to singapore
3. I hope to do well in the national exams

Secondary 3 was a challenging year, in academics as well as in wooing my dream girl...
I was spending my time wisely..this is wat a day in secondary 3 was like for me..
Go school, come back from school, sleep for a while, go play soccer in the field (which is beside her house by the way), come back home bathe then study till wee hours in the morning...
Despite my busi schedule, I was consciously planning my moves...how to make her my gf...I will discuss various strategies with my best frend...
Level 1 strategies were pretty silly by any standards..
I will pretend to kick the soccer ball into the home and ask her to retrieve it for me...or we will pretend to be very thirsty with no money to buy the all famous Ah Siao's chin cao...
Whether the strategies worked , I dun know..but still the short term goal was to see her...
Despite concerns from my parents, I still volunteered to be part of that year's organizing committee...we are to organise a five day youth camp at the temple's premise...
How can I miss this golden opportunity I was thinking to myself....hhahaha..ole ole ole...

I spent alot of with the committee planning for the camp....I spent alot of time with her planning for the camp....
I was doing ok in skool and by my standards, I think my plan to make her my steady is also on the right track..
The camp was a success, in terms of the reception we got from the public as well as my relationship with her..
My relationship with her over the years have evolved from being total strangers to acquaintances, acquantainces to good friends...
I was satisfied..

During the camp, when it was lights out period, we will grab a milo each and sit by a huge tree by temple and discuss the day's proceedings and see how we can best organise the next day's activities..
We will always have time for personal discussions before we turn in for the nite...
I told her about my plans to try for the scholarship this year, and how she can apply for it to...
Deep down inside I hope she will at least try for the scholarship...
The 5 day camp was soon over, I feel i have gotten to know her so much more in those 5 days than in the past 5 years...

Eexams were drawing close, I was nowhere close to completing my syllabus, and more importantly, I havent told her I like her...
For the first time in my life, I felt time was not on my side..
It was a veri conflicting period for me..as much as I wanted to concentrate on my studies, i know I will not be able to do so unless I first resolve matters of the heart..
That was when I decided to just do it...not just think about it
I decided to drop her a letter, express my feelings for her..on her birthday...
I frantically searched for samples, ask tips from "masters", as to how I should write my first love letter...
When I finally sat down to compose the letter...it all became strangely easy...
I just wrote what I realli felt about her all these time...

July 4, America's independence day, also her birthday, I assigned another buddy who lives near her house to put the letter into her mailbox first thing in the morning..
I will not tolerate any delay I warned him...
July 4 that year was the longest day of my life..thinking back..I dun really know if i wanted that day to pass quickly or slowly...
In the letter, before I signed off, I asked her to give me a call if there was any chance...

Seconds turn into minutes, and minutes into hours...I was sitting by my phone waiting for the all important call...
The call finally came....2 hours befofe midnite....much to my relief, she felt the same way...
I felt all my life I have lived just for that moment...
We spoke for a while and when it was time to say goodnite, I said cheekily, "I dun want to be the one to put the phone down first.." but neither does she..
So we counted like excited little kids, "3,2,1" and we hung up the phone, in perfect sync..

Well, the first "official" day as bf and gf is always something special if not akward...
5th July Secondary 3, I was recharged and fully focused on task at hand, get over with the exams and see how our love stori will unfold...
First hurdle, Asean Sec Scholarship, I remember coming to this very place, kay siang road, where it once housed the Ministry Of Education, I entered the examination room with just my pencil case and good luck note which she gave me before I came..
English was easy, maths was difficult, IQ test was disastrous...I thought to myself "If I realli dun make the cut, it doesnt realli matter cos she's not coming along anyway"
It didnt affect me much knowing i didnt do as well as I hoped....I went back home..relieved that first hurdle is alreadi history..
2 hurdle, national exams.....the national exams was something special to me cos historically my brothers were top students and teachers expected nothing less from me...however, it takes teachers with very strong faith because in the 3 years I was there, I was nothing like my brothers...
I was sent out of class, kena caning for various reasons, always reprimanded for being too talkative..in other words I was the black sheep..
Onli 1 teacher believed I could do it..Mrs.Wang...they were lucky there were no bookies taking bets that time....with the odds of 1:10000, Mrs.Wang would have been a very very rich lady now Smile

For 2 mths, I survived on my textbooks and the 1 phone call to her at 10 pm sharp every nite
U can say she was my vitamins, my ginseng tea or my bird's nest, listening to her voice was tonic enuff for me to keep on going even when the entire town is fast asleep..
Hurdle 2, come and go....
Just went I thought we can finally spend some time together not having to worri wat happens tomorrow, the day after tomorrow...
I got a call from her..
"Andy I need to tell u something,,"
"Yes what? u need someone to help u clear the garden?" (her garden was notoriously untidy even by my standards..)
"I will be moving to Penang when the year ends"..

Xcert SG

Is there a Part 2 coming in? Laughing Mr. Green

raraninja SG

Part 2 will up today.... Laughing

solidus SG

Penang is very far away from S'pore Very Happy

raraninja SG

Here the second part..

For a moment I didnt understand the implications...
Then it struck me..like a 10000 kilo watt lightning..."Why penang, its veri far away u know?"
"Yes I know, but my mum and sis are moving there and I have to go along"
"Is there no way u can stay here? You can stay with ur aunt"

A million reasons must have raced thru my mind....Please please come up with that 1 reason that would her stay I pleaded...
"As much as I would want to stay, it's not veri possible...promise we still be together?" her voice quivered.
I reacted onli a 16-year old would have, emotions took over, there was just so much anger...Why must this be happening?
Frustrated, I mumbled incoherently,"I dun think I want to discuss this any further.." and hung up...
I could her her cry as I put the phone down...I cried....I had never been so sad...

The next couple of days were replica of each other....I would call her, ask her questions which I already knew the answers..
"Why dun u consider staying back?"
"I cant"...came the reply each time....
Anger turned into desperation, desperation into helplessness...

Days passed, I didnt call the familiar number 444536....(the number just came up subconsciously as I am writing this..)...
Then I got a call from her, "Can u come over to my place"..
I brightened up immediately, "K, I will come as soon as possible k. I go buy the beans and we make tau suan k.."
We spend the day, making our favourite dessert..catching up on the things we did the past few days...We said nothing of our impending separation....
"Wei, we will still be together even if u move to penang k..promise we will come up with something.."

Little did I expect I would have 1 final hurdle to cross, I would have to try make this work..whatever it takes...
The scholarship branch called up one evening...."Congratulations, you have been offered the Asean Secondary School Scholarship. Please reply us within a
week if u will be accepting the offer."
I wasnt elated, I had bigger problems.
"Ok I accept the offer" I said without hesitation. I just needed to move on to a new place where I wouldnt be reminded of her....

I call her that nite to tell her I will be leaving for Singapore the next year. That added another 200 kilometres to our problem.
"Dun worri har, we will meet every holidays k. Either I go there or u come here. Then I will call u every week k also k."

For the remaining weeks of the year, we would spend everyday together..we were trying to create as much of happi memmories as possible..
Memmories which will hopefully sustain us through the long-distance relationship....

Shooting stars do grant wishes...
I was together with the one dearest to me...I was offered a chance to come to singapore....I scored all A's in the national exams...
But wat shooting stars dun guarantee is dat if the wishes will last forever...

D-Day (departure day) finally arrived, we said our goodbyes...I met her the day before she left..but couldnt be there at the bus station to send her off...
15-20 minutes before the bus would depart for penang, she called me from a nearby public phone...
"Hey u must take care when u go singapore k, must study arh..dun play soccer everyday arh..."
"I love you", the first time I have said dat to her...
"I love you too" the first time she said dat to me...

Till today I still keep the first card she sent to me when she was in Penang. She briefly described her new school, friends, home...
Tears welled up in my eyes as I read the card she sent, she is realli not here anymore...

I came to singapore soon after, I had little problems settling down as my younger brother was already here...we happened to attend the same skool too....
While the first item my roomate bought were 3 ping pong balls, I bought a phone card, everything dun have never mind..phone card must have.....
School started with a 3-day orientation camp in Punggol..we pitched the tent on muddy grounds.."Shit this is crazy man, camping for 3 days in a paddy field,
Singaporeans damn on man"...
The days of the camp were veri easi to pass, we were fully occupied, doing activities I had never done before in Malaysia...
We canoed, we played team-building games, we ate from mess tins...
The nites of the camp were extremely difficult to pass, it wasnt the wet ground or the blood sucking mosquitoes that were bothering me...
I miss so many pple, my mother (father less lar..), my best buddy, but most of all I miss my soul mate..my ah ger...
I was never a big fan of astrology, so I never paid much attention to the stars in the sky with exception of the Shooting Star (u cannot miss it k..so fast and bright..)..
But during those lonely nites, the stars were my friends... I got to know them..."A B C" I would call them, the 3 stars that lined up together..
While watching the stars...I relived the sweet memories we had...

TVaddict SG

good luck to u, friend…

Xcert SG

I am waiting for the rest of the story too... Laughing Mr. Green

raraninja SG

part 3...

Studying in Singapore was a whole new experience for me, the syllabus was quite tough.....imagine I didnt know what
a linear graph was all about at sec 3....so dat was tough....
Skool woes aside, hostel life was fun, there were a bunch of us living in a 4 level hostel down in Telok Kurau.
Best of all, the gers block was just on the opposite side. The only "protection" the gers had was the buffer zone, the basketball court.

These are some of the crazy things we did when were living in the hostels...

1) I will steal gers tee-shirts when they hang them out to dry and return them as "birthday gifts" during their birthdays.
2) At nite we will communicate with the gers using torch lights. First we will turn off all the lights on the level, then draw the curtains close, then
write in reverse using torch lights with the curtain as the back drop. This was a trademark communication skill passed down from batches to batches...

These are some of the crazy things gers did when they were living in the hostels..

1) "shadow stripping.." the gers will draw close the curtains, light up the room, and pretended to take off their clothes...while we
watch their silloutes...it was one of our fav pastime and from the frequency of it, I guess the gers must have enjoyed performing too Smile

2) steal our underwears...we were too glad to let them keep as souvenirs...

Despite the fun times we had, I still miss my ah ger. A 5 minute call from singapore to penang cost quite abit, a $10 phone card will onli last 2 calls,
about 5 mins each...As students $10 was realli a big deal...
I will try to spend less on everything else and try save up for that 1 call 1 week.....No matter how lousy the week had been, all will be forgotten after
that 1 phone call...What we tok about wasnt dat important....somehow by just listening to her voice, she didnt seem that far away...

Sec 3 was an emotional roller coaster for me. I dun think words can ever describe how I felt. For those who have been in long-distance relationships,
I am sure you will know what I mean....In many aspects, life was tough, I was costantly under scrutiny, pressure to do well in skool.
On the other hand, I realli miss her dearly....Given a chance, I would never want to go thru dat again...

Our first valentine's day...I wanted to do something special...I looked up all newspapers with valentine greetings in them, I literally cut and pasted parts of
the different greetings to come up with my veri own poem...I was lucky enuff to also with find a cutting meant for someone with the same name..

We kept our promise to each other, we met up half a year later...During the mid-year holidays she came from Penang to stay with her sister for a couple of days.
I remember making my way to her sis' home, it was at International plazza, Anson road. It was my first time in Shenton Way (till today, International Plaza will
somehow remind me of her..)
My heart was working overtime the entire journey there.
How I miss her...the way she smiles, the way she looks at you, the way she smells.... Yesh..I was excited.

The meeting was romantic in many wasy....The apartment was overlooking the CBD and we had a great view of Marina, Raffles Place..The skyline was simply
breathtaking....I could not have asked for a better way to spend the day with her.....
I soon as we met, we hugged...for how long, I am not sure....Emotions were overwhelming...so much happiness and yet so much sadness...
I realli wished that time would just stop....I would be willing to give up so much just to be with her just that little longer.....
I felt I was falling in love with her all over again....

Soon it was time for us to say our goodbyes, it was difficult...I didnt know how to let go...I hugged her for the last time and gave her a kiss on her forehead...
Reluctantly, I left....
The next half year was all very blur...I will write her a letter every day, religiously....sometimes I would send them, sometimes I would not...it was just
my way of making myself feel she was close by....

I am not sure about others, but for me, there are times when i will miss her dearly...
The closest I can describe how I felt is like in the movie by Zhang Ai Jia, when Aniki Jin (Jin Cheng Wu) will start taking pictures of the sky
when she misses Gigi Leung...
I felt I understood Aniki...

Sidetrack : On her birthday, I made everyone from my batch sing her a birthday song..all over the public telephone..
Thank you Alexandra Graham Bell...

End of year came and go, we didnt meet up as promised....Our holidays were timed differently. I realli wanted to see her veri badly...
During our younger years, we dun have much freedom to make decisions...if I could I would have walked, swam or whatever, just to see her..
Emotionally drained, I progressed to sec 4....again national exams, renewal of scholarship will depend on the all important O-levels...
But I had something to look forward to, she could apply for the scholarship the following year..It is veri possible that we will be studying JC together...
I was veri excited...but it was my plan for her..to my dismay, this wasnt her family's plan for her....

We still kept up our constant calls to each other..but the strain of being apart is sometimes hard to bear....but still I kept faith..hoping
we will somehow be togehter after sec 4.....onli that thought kept me going....

I did ok in my O-levels, scholarship renewed...then came the blow....Her family has other plans for her...they will not encourage here to come....
I was bitter...no matter how much I will persuade her...her answer will always be the same..."I cant"

In retrospect, I realli made it veri difficult for her...instead of giving her support and reassuring her that everything is going to be ok,
I did the opposite...I was unreasonable, stubborn, irrational...

I know this may like an excuse, but despite my making things difficult for her, I realli realli loved her...
JC 1, so much buzz, new school new friends, new challenges...I tried keep her out of my mind by keeping myself busi with ecas..it wasnt because
I wanted to forget her...I just wanted to make it less painful for me knowing that we wont be seeing each other much over the next 2 years...

As I am writing this, I am still very apologetic about wat I am going to tell you all next....
Bitterness turned into frustration....I was beginning to think if we are realli meant to be together...so many years, so many obstacles....
Maybe..just maybe..things will be better if we cool off for a while...

I wrote her a letter...telling her how I felt, the frustrations, the sadness I felt...It was all my feelings..I never for once thought how she felt..
I was being to her..thinking I was the onli one suffering..the onli one feeling all the loneliness...

I posted the letter, without remorse...it was childish...

That letter was the last letter I sent her...neither did I call her the rest of JC 1 and JC 2......

raraninja SG

This is the concluding part.....I am glad to share this story with everyone in love, who has been in love or hoping to be in love...
We live for moments like these...

To the ger in this story, I have this to say...
"I am not sure if things could have turned out differently but there are definitely times when I wished it had...
During the times we were together, I hope there were things I did that made u feel loved though u deserve so much more...
Looking back now, there are no regrets, no bitterness...
Memories of those times will always stay close to my heart and I wish u happiness always..."

Its been months since I last heard from her......deep down inside, I was hoping she will call me or write to me...
It didnt matter if it was to ask me for explanation or to curse me...I just wanted a response.........

I cannot explain how things had turned out this way..Though I still miss her, she is no longer my gf, she is no longer
obliged in anyway to make the relationship work...the pain slowly went away...

JC 2 was a horrendous year for me, it was a tough year....I hadnt spend enuff time with my books the first year and
I was suffering from the consequence of dat...
There is nothing worth mentioning about JC 2 except for the fact that I still haboured thoughts of patching back with her...
I realli didnt know she meant that much to me...

At this point, if there is any of you wondering why I hadnt picked up the phone and called her to say sorri........
I have no answer...I just had mixed feelings about our relationship....Love is a double-edged sword, it cuts both ways...
loving someone so much can bring so much happines and at the same time, it can bring about so much pain, so much sadness..
I was scared...

Each day after school, I will ride my bike to ECP, buy dinner, then sit by myself at my favourite spot, Bedok Jetty.
For the hour or so when I am there, I think of nothing else....but her...I will try to remember the things we did together, the
things we said to each other....There were times when those memories brought a smile to my face and there also times when the
memories will bring tears to my eyes.......

I promised her so many things and yet I fulfilled so few....

A-levels came, I couldnt wait for it to end..Tht's it, I am no longer answerable to anybody except to myself when it comes
to studies, I will live by my standards...I will not again live by the standards or others...

There is still something I needed to do...I knew I can never be happy without her..I need to be back together with her..
I told my parents I will be in KL for a couple of days to stay with my chump, Eugene.. (btw Eugene was one of my closest fren and his
gf at that time was one of her closest fren....how appropriate...)

Me :"Ah Beng (his nickname), I want to get back together with her...I am planning to go down Penang. You come with me?"
Ah Beng : "You sure u want to do this?
Me :"I only know I will live to regret this if I dun do it. You know what I mean..."

We took the next bus to Penang that evening, I didnt have enuff money, neither did Ah Beng...
Looking back, we could at least borrowed some before we left....
"No money never mind as long as have love". This seemed to be our motto at that time..

Anyway, we arrived in Penang dat very nite...We had less than 100 dollars with us dat nite..and we had to find a place
to stay....tired and hungry, we combed the entire city center for someplace cheap...
Physically, I was damn shagged but I was bouyed by the thought that after tomorrow, watever I have done would have been worth it..
I am sure Ah Beng felt the same way...
We found a cheap place at 30 dollars a nite, we still have money to buy tickets back to KL..so we decided to go for a bite..
Penang is famous for many of its local delicacies...I thing anything would have tasted heavenly for me that evening..
I discussed the possible scenarios with Ah Beng over supper..
If she says this..this is what I would say..
If she says that..this is what I would say..
Everything seems to be under control..Most importantly, I know I am sincere in getting her back...
That nite in the "hotel" was one of the longest nite ever....Almost 5 years have passed since I first
expressed my feelings for here..." Here am I, trying to do the same things almost half a decade later...

I called her the first thing in the morning, "Hello, I am here in penang...with eugene, can we meet up?"
She said ok, co-incidentally there were some frens from my home town who were in Penang..
"I will go pick u and eugene up at Komtar.We will have a pinic at the beach"

"Ok"..I was silently screaming with delight...

Thinking now, I remember I bought her a gift..what exactly it was, I kanot remember..but it was meant
to appease her...

She came by Komtar at the time she said she would, how I miss the face...
"Hi how have u been?"
"Ok, wat about u?"

That was it, the rest of the journey to the beach was extremely quiet...no one said anything and I was begining
to become nervous..
Once at the beach, we were met by another guy, instinctively I felt threatened...you can never be wrong over
these things...
"Whatver, I am still going thru with my plan"..
I told her I needed to speak to her, in private..
We strolled along the beach and as soon I am sure we couldnt be heard, and I look into her eyes and said,
"I want to be together with you again. Issit possible?"

"I am already attached", came the reply..
This is one scenario I hadnt prepared for...
I was speechless ..
"Why dun we go back have some food"..she offered..
My mind was completely blank, what am I to do...
I was incosolable....I wanted to cry but somehow there were no tears...
I was shatterred...From being the most hopeful person to the most hopeless person all in a matter
of hours..

I just wanted to get away, I hadnt given up yet..I was still thinking wat I can still do..but I needed money,
I borrowed some money from the visiting frens...

"Eugene, we need to find a florist.."
I spend whatever money I had (after buying 2 tickets backt to KL) to buy roses...
"Eugene, can help me write notes...as many as possible.."
"I am really sorry and I love you"...we repeated wrote this down into sheets of paper...
We wrote many many sheets..
I passed the florist the address to send to and the sheets of papers...
"Please, please make sure that the person recieves this"

The trip back to KL was veri difficult, I felt I had lost her forever.....
Back in my hometown, I tried very hard to pull myself together, I volunteered to head the
committee for that year's camp...

There was alot of preparation work, food, activities, schedule....maybe I managed because I wanted
to forget...
Strangely, she came back to the hometown to help out with the camp's planning..It was tough because to a certain
extend we have to set good examples for the younger members..we shouldnt be focusing on personal matters...
Being the person I am, I confided to some members..they were like my younger brothers and sisters...always trying to
create "chances" for us...
Anyway, the camp was something I wanted to do..and the camp went goes into the history as one of the most
fun camp ever...
I had immense satisfaction from the camp...
After the camp, I knew what I had to do...I called her up the day before she left, can I see u...
I drove to her place, picked her up and went to eat supper..her favourite "Mee hoon Kueh"..

Side track: After coming back from KL, did things which I thought will help..
I recorded Alex Toh's "Wu Xing Shang Hai" over and over again in cassettes tapes and send to her..

After supper, I drove her home..I know she was expecting me to ask her the question again..
"Issit still possible for us to be together?"
"Yes"...I almost wanted to hug her...but she was no longer my gf...
"Ok" I didnt know what else to say...

I was back in singapore the next day to collect A-levels result, I didnt score all As like
the rest of my peers but I felt I did ok...
I called her to tell her how I did for the exams...
I was telling her what I plan to do in uni, she suddenly cut me short..
"Forget about whatever I told u the day before. I realli cant..."
I had said whatever I could have said...At the moment, I realised no matter what I said,
what I did, nothing will change...
I didnt think I deserve to get back to her after all that I did...
I braced myself and told her, "I am ok..I understand..."
I cannot bear to make her suffer the second time...I was my turn...

The following months gloomy..I just wanted to be alone every single day...

5 years have since passed, and I still will think of her sometimes...
I have moved on and so has she...
Ironically, she appeared with her bf in Straits Times 2 years ago...
The headlines went something like this.."Golden Couple......"
The story went on to describe how they met, how the fell in love and how the went all
the way to top their universities that year....
I was happy for her....genuine..no bluff

CenturionMBT SG

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