~HeLp...............~

JeSseRiStA80 SG

Hi there.. Neutral I've got a happy and satisfied relationship wif my bf..we've been 2gether 4 ard one and a half yr..Initially,we used to have very close and frequent physical contact,and will recall those 'moments' 2gether.. but now,things are not da same..we've less physical contact and sumtimes i dun even feel lek reali going into tat..there's no 3rd party between us..juz that i dun haf the kind of feeling to haf physical wif him nw...maybe its due 2 my stress @ work..but i can't blame everything on my work rite..he juz feels sad and sumting is not rite.....how to regain tat type of intimacy wif him as b4????
HeLp................................................................................... Crying or Very sad

Devil1976 SG

Hmm... Perhaps you should try posting this in the BAR as well..? Though I can't guarantee you that you'll definitely get GOOD advices from there... But there're definitely SOME who are capable of giving GOOD advices from there...? Cool

JeSseRiStA80 SG

haha..i've posted there liaoz..they ask mi 2 post here..
*blur*

Parka SG

Shocked Shocked Rolling Eyes

ashgoh SG

Hey if u now don't feel like having physical wif him...it will be worse when you are married to him in future. Shocked

I will say most likely you are too use to his style "old tricks" or that he is not as romantic as b4. you are feeling bored thats all.

Just some suggestion.
How about asking him to plan something romantic. Probably a night walk at beaches after dinner. Spending time together to watch romantic show and cudding into each other.
Wink Hope this help.

redplanet SG

It is common for couples to lose interest in sex once they have sex too many times already. Cool it and give each other time off.

There is no cure to this becos once you lose your sexual drive with the other person you can not revive it up to 100 % again. Live with it, besides, physically we are less capable to have sex as we age, so accept this as natural degression.

If you subscribe to alternative lifestyle , you can join those who swop partners. This will revive your sex drive, but not intended for anyone.

JeSseRiStA80 SG

erm..paisei huh..juz need to admit tat both of us r still virgins~~ Mr. Green
our so called close physical contact is juz purely heavy petting tats all..juz 1 step b4 sex.. Wink

Yunhaier SG

Your work stress contribute a portion of the reason. Female are different from males are in they are very affected by the external factors before leading to intimacy. Your stress are influenced this partially.

The other factor would be due to the fact that your relationship is showing sign of a Routine relationship. A routine relationship will dampen intimancy in later stage because psychological effect.

Combination of these two reduced your wanting to have intimate contacts with him. Probably the way to solve this problem is to instill new sparks into the relationship; magazine and books will show many good ways this 'spark' would ignite. Rolling Eyes

Cheers

boy in blues SG

Mr. Green let me guess..not only just 'That'..but you also spend less quality time with him, correct? for all their undeniable porno presence, japs got very low sex frequency by international standards.

Devil1976 SG

Hmm... Ok....

Yes, you can put the blame on work stress.. (who says you can't anyway..?? Hehheh... Mr. Green ) But that certainly doesn't mean that you can't do something about it...? And I suppose that's why you're posting it here..? Wink

Let's see... Does your bf know much or feel much about this issue? Have ya discussed it with him before...? Well, it's certainly a good way to start..? 1st of all, let him know that you're experiencing much stress from work and you somehow feel that it's affecting your 'relationship' with him... In verbal words, e-mails, letters, sms or through phone... Whichever way you're more comfortable with...? (now, talk about the advantages of technology advancements..? Laughing ) ENDS with this... Let him know that you would like very much to do something about it... (in a positive way... and it's IMPORTANT you let him know that you're not blaming him... Cause some guys just tends to have STUPID thoughts... Mr. Green )

Some things you can do :

1. Do the relaxing things the two of you used to do together... Enjoying the moments... And it would be NICE only if you make sure that you have abundant time together for these occasions... Don't rush... Do things slowly and naturally... Make SURE that none of you is rushing off for any appointment after that...?

2. BALANCE work & life... This is a GENERAL approach... For work stress can not only deteriorates your love life... It can also affect your health, friends' social circle and family ties etc... The LAST thing you want is MORE COMPLICATIONS into the matter... Keep AFLOAT.. It's YOUR LIFE... Learn to handle and manage it EFFICIENTLY..... Wink

3. Learn TECHNIQUES to relax... Aromatic therapy... GYM and sports... Light mediation... Breathing techniques... Whatever which would be of much help...

4. Realise it's A DIFFERENT world... WORK and AFTER work... People tends to feel tired after a day of work... But they've probably forgotten! Life has JUST BEGAN! Is your life all about the paper works and jobs..? Rolling Eyes HELL! NO, OF COURSE! Your ACTUAL life begins AFTER your work... So are you gonna WASTE your life away...?

5. Learn to LOVE & ENJOY your job... A way to REDUCE work stress... If you know how to manage and cope with your job scope and duty effectively and balance the priorities and importance of things.... Make jobs easy, make life even easier for you...? Wink

6. ESCAPE from the 'reality'! IF all things' really SO TIGHT... Both of you should plan for an 'escapade'...? Be it a local venture or an overseas trip... Set aside EVERYTHING and create those SPECIAL MOMENTS for YOURSELVES only (privated & limited... Hehheh... Smile ....?

Wish these advices would have been of much help? And good luck to you? Wink

JeSseRiStA80 SG

hey~!! thanks guys and gals 4 all da suggestions~!!
i'll see to it and do sumtin abt it~~ Razz