Originally posted by Haven:
Somehow...after so many people posting their
problems.
I realised that there are people who claimed to have loved the
person so much that they are so broken hearted and all those poor
thing stuff. Victimised.
Of cos! Who would dare to say that it's the victim's fault having
all those heartaches??? When i see most of the either sexes
supporting their own gender and start calling the gender
names.
When it's the victim's story we've seen. One sided....
When 'victim' may not understand his/her partner totally
well...
they still claimed to know the other half very well. Con't
below...
I agree to some extend when couples knew each for a long time
before engaging into intimate relationship will 'know most of the
time'.
Like those little actions, or shifty movements...body
language.
Many things are just naturally known by the other party.
And to those for claiming to 'understand' the person after knowing
him/her for only two months or slightly more and then happily jump
into a relationship are all deluded beings.
It may sound harsh...
And though Aunt Agony is a place to find some answers and advice,
help and comfort...
You're free to post watever you think.
I am also doing it now. 
There are some things to ponder about those unpleasant incidents
which happened:
Besides that....does the topic starter understand what goes on in
his/her partner's mind?
The cause of it?
The event which changed a person's character?
Errr.....horoscope clashes...??? (personally i don't agree
following the star signs thru all the way, there are some truths to
certain things. But never allow zodiac or horoscope to determine
who you are.)
Remember [b]You are what you think You are.
To continue,
When so much words was being shown here to display how much love
was given and how hurting it was being cheated, stuff like
that.
Ever wondered if all those time and words was not brought
here?
but to the person who needs to hear it most? I believe it'll make a
whole lot of difference...i sincerely believe that everyone is
their own master. 
Every decisions made will be engulfed within the Law of Cause and
Effect.
Allow me to share some possiblities...
When a person seeking help comes into AA.
Many will give one lined answers like? Dump him/her, he's/she's not
worth your ......this and that lalala....
It'll only instill negetive decisions onto the 'victim' without any
sound advice in explaining why some AA forumite will think that
his/her 'one-liner' contribution makes sense?
A desperate person who needs help so much will readily catch all
things that was said. Though not all....but sub-conciously had
registered in their sad minds.
And to the 'victims':
This is one question i pondered...
Does vicitim feel what the other party feels when relationship is
deteriorating?
Maybe he/she is screaming at the top of his/her voice 'in his/her
heart' that he/she's frustrated with the way things are
going.
And somehow....victims are just so into doing all those lovey dovey
stuff for him/her....this the part when they'll start telling
people how they showered love and how much they did things for
him/her and this was they got in return.
Hmm...i think all relationship has to know get this rule in their
head.
That's Reality Check. Or Self Check.
'Victims' may be shocked to know from him/her that they don't
really want 'victims' to do SO MUCH for them....but to do the
things two person enjoys.
What will relationship become when only one party gets the
recieving end? Expectations and resentments will start hovering in
the heads of those who give till they're so tired of doing it. But
it's amazing that some people just continue doing that cos they
still thought that's how relationship should go about.
Still ponders....
Though two a guy and a girl comes together with different agenda in
their mind
Guys : Sex? Show off? Ego? Blah Blah...
Girls : Love? Care and concern? Security? Blah blah...
I believe that Love is truly something which breaks all, if not,
most barriers.
Communication is one.
Doing is one.
Saying is one.
The most important of all in my opinion is enjoyment two person
have when they do whatever they like.
Finally, to those people getting into relationship.
Consider carefully what person you're going into relationship
with.
People change...though you may claim to know them well
enough...
No body knows another person no matter how long. Simply you're not
Him/Her!
Accept changes and move along.If you can't move on and don't get
into another blindly(which many are practicing 
)
Thank to you who's reading this post.
And i apologise for making this post my longest written one
But no apologies to what my comments.
Though i may not have covered everything...but yup...this are my
thoughts today.
To Guys: Stop being devils ArseOles! Stop breaking girl's
heart and be a monk!!
To Girls: When a guy does a hundred things right....
one wrong will make the hundred fall like tumbling blocks.
Sigh....
Haven's Thoughts
[/b]
Intriguing. Maybe the victim do so much that does not fall into
their partners life. Like showing their partner with so much
concern and love when what their partner actually need is some
breathing space. How bout those who do observe their would be
partners and then find some incompatibilities or different mindset
of life, future etc. Would you have taken the step when you noe
that the relationship is heading towards gloom? Not that its
impossible to carry it on but maybe v difficult.
Example would be guy wants career 1st while gal wanna settle down
fast. Guy know what the gal wants but still gave the relationship a
shot. In the end, quarrel and find that not compatible and stuff.
Broke up and guy pour out sorrow that gal doesn't want to wait for
him etc to his friends... so whose fault is it? The guy's? Or issit
the gal who couldn't change or accomodate him? After all, love is
almighty and is most important so why couldn't the gal wait for
him? Is this what that's been happening to many people here?
Sorry if I'm OT...
