blue_kelvinsg SG i just feel that i’ve became really warped. guess it’s the aftermath from a failed 1st relationship. yea, it’s no big deal (everyone faces the same shit) but the effects are surfacing. i guess i’ve became very protective of myself. not selfish, but there’s jus this invisible protection lining that separates me from my peers. i dun really enjoy initmate relationship fearing a failure in any sense. but yet, im kind and love helping others. sometimes i really wish there’s soemone i can pour my heart to. i’m sick of self-pitying and words like “im sad” and stuffs like that. guess my heart has became cold.
Yunhaier SG If I were to say its natural and alright to react in your position, would you believe me? Not everyone in this world could live back their old self after a failed relationship, neither is it easy to move on. The fear to love is because of the fear to accept the risk a relationship contains. Being protective and drawn back is because this is what your mind does to defend itself psychologically. Sorry but to say: there is no relationship without risk. All I can say is that - when the time for you to release yourself and try another shot - is the time you will fall in love again. Heart become cold, or you chose to put it in the freezer? Someone to pour your hearts to? If you are talking about a partner, it will come when you open the iron gates to your heart. If you are talking about 'someone' as in anyone - you could private message me. I am always around, until further notice. Quote of the day: To love and win is the best - to love and lose is the next best thing. Cheers
Wind SG It's normal. I used to feel that way and I think I am still feeling that way. The pain is either gone... or it has lessened? This I am not sure. I know you will be sick of what I am going to say next, just like what everybody might have already said to you. The only solution is, time. Take care man.
Healin SG I guess everyone goes through this stage. But think back on the wonderful memories she has given you. Its a gift and just forget what has happened and move on. Sometimes, you need to access your situation in a logical manner. I know its hard but you gotta try. Learn to accept life. You will definately find someone else who will care for you and yes... it may fail again but you keep trying until you find someone whom you will not fail and whom will not fail you. Try to further ur friendship with pals and even gals you like. Not asking you to woo them or wat but show them and others what you are capable of. Let your peers know you more. This is a good way to get out of the "self pity" mindset. "I'm sad". I've been saying this to myself. I'm trying to get out of this vicious cycle too but I'm sad becuz my ex broke up with me over something that I could have controlled. Be open and try to accept ideas. Plan what you can do and keep yourself occupied. Most of my friends are Ah Bengs (no pun here) and I too do not have someone to pour my heart to. You can do it here or if you don mind, go for conselling. You like to help people and is generally filled with kindness... I'm not the religious guy but you can try joining a church or something. I've been to this christian mass and while I do not throughly enjoy it, the people there are always willing to lend a ear and even more willing for an extra pair of hands to help them for their charitable activities like cleaning the old fokes home and stuff. Personally I'm too "fan" to do all these as I'm coping with my temper but you may want to give it a shot. My $0.02.
blue_kelvinsg SG thanks. i'm actually a christian - a pretty warped one in fact. thanks guys for all your replies. maybe it's time that heals or perhaps i should jus open the iron gates and hasitate no more. it's a pity that it seems so impossible to be the once cheerful me in the past. one of my good buddy use to remind me how much i've changed. he said it was heartbreaking. well, i guess most people would go through this phrase of life. i mean, who hasn't ? sad to say but true, this always happens. and it either builds up or breaks up a person. sigh ~ felt that i've learnt alot after the past relationship. get to see the beautiful and the ugly sight. well, still after everything life can still be rich and wonderous if we choose to work things out. thanks guy, i know what to do. =) -cheers & best of luck
Yunhaier SG It's not changing after a relationship - its growing up, learning things you never realise and gaining maturity in affairs of the heart. If you have learn alot from this relationship - no matter how sh|t it is - its a good relation. Afterall, how do you know who to treasure as the right person if you never been through a hell one? Cheers
Haven SG Hmmm.....then have a focused life and look to him constantly. Live your christian live like you've never did. a verse for you. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all things shall be added onto you. God promised...not me. so you can take his word for it.
Healin SG Yesh. But don just talk and still keep it in your heart. Go to the beach and scream your lungs out. Then enjoy ur new life.
AngelDark SG hahah seems like there are many other ppl experiencing the same thing as u..... i WAS liddat once... but.... somehow.... i changed yet again... ppl change.. maybe u are now recovering still?? hence the protectiveness?? my heart... i thought that it was cold... but no... it turned out that i had feelings still.... but it wasn't clear to me to whom it was to... until recently.... u can get over this soon, u juz need to do more things wif ur frens and so on.... life still goes on...
