can sum1 advice mi???

last SG · 2003-05-14T13:27:45+00:00

Then tok to him abt it... dun keep assuming... U won't no wats goin on... toking out wif him can help clarify dis matter... IF U keep tinking da "worst case...

ger_ger SG

hihi, every1 who sees tis post.... my bf begins to treat mi veri differently ever since he went for NS.. he begin to be veri hot temper and he doen't tink of hw i feel.. i feel so sad n terrible when he scolds mi and when once he lied to mi.. i feel so sad.... i dun noe hw to discribe my feelings into wrds, bt i juz feel so terrible...tis daes i juz break dwn n cry.....

r everyguy who go NS will change????

Crying or Very sad

curad SG

u r unable 2 describe yr feelings,same goes 2 yr bf...it's not tt easy 2 be in ns u noe?they have 2 be tolerance n many other things,he can't vent his anger inside there so u got 2 understand him n support him...tok 2 him abt it like how u feel when he lie 2 u or watever?seriously,the thing he need now is yr support coz he can't rely on anyone inside there,the thing u can do now is dun feel tt sad,tok 2 him calmly.being in army is like being in jail like tt,someone in there will make yr life terrible...understand?

jOhO SG

hi there.

i guess the most logical explanation would be becos of the pressures inside camp, altho that doesn't make it right for him to take it out on u.

do u think u could find a time (when he's in a good mood, preferably) to sit down with him and tell him how u feel? dun accuse him of ill-treating you or antyhing, maybe butter him up with words that u feel so upset that u can't do anything to help his "suffering" in NS but also u are beginning to feel lost and distant from him becos he keeps "pushing you away" (nice way of saying scolding you)

i guess it's just how u wanna use ur words and talk to him.. but u have to let him know how u feel. then see his reaction. if he truly treasures u, he'll at LEAST listen to u, and may take some time to eventually control his temper.

good luck and welcome to sgforums.

curad SG

it's indeed very pressurized in camp,some gals juz dun understand how the guys suffer in there.... Smile

jOhO SG

yeah well i dun deny the pressures an NS man feels but that (ideally) shouldn't be related to how he treats his gf. if anything, it would be wonderful that he can find joy in seeing her in the weekends when he books out. it's extremely important to have something to look forward to when u're eating mud and drinking river water. Mr. Green

curad SG

ya lah but smtimes we gals juz have 2 understand their times in camp when they vent their anger...it's bad of him 2 vent his anger on his gf,but on the other hand,she has 2 understand him so he feel better...

SunRisE SG

Hmm.. Is not the matter of changing..

Maybe you should be more considerate towards him.. Cos in camp also got pressure and stress get from superior... Rolling Eyes

BUt of cos.. he shouldnt vent it on you.. Sometimes.. things jus couldn't control the way you wan it.. Maybe he doesn't wan to hurt you oso.. Jus that he cant take it??

DOn't think that he's treating you badly.. Talk to him when he calm down.. Tell him how you feel about this matter.. Ask for his opinion.. Why has he become so bad-temper?? ISsit becos of the work in Army?? Too much pressure..? Rolling Eyes

Try not to jump conclusion and treat it as he's the bad guy.. Maybe he got his own reasons.. Maybe he needed someone there to talk to him.. and lend him a listening ear.. YOu as gf can help him in that phrase..

YOu mentioned that he once lied to you.. What's the thing about you never say?? There's always a reason for lying.. Whether is a white lie or a bad lie.. Jus tell him.. DOn't lie to you.. IF he don't feel like telling then don't say.. don't need to tell a lie to cover it.. Rolling Eyes

Stop crying yourself to bed.. This would help the relation to grow.. it will only add more unsolved problems to it.. Not everyone will know how to feel and think for another party.. If you ever say that he doesn't know how you feel when he treated you like this.. then Have you ever wonder why he become so hot-temper.. and how he feels also?? Rolling Eyes

Like what jOhO suggest you can think thru about it.. Communication is the key to every relation.. And is rather important.. When he's out of army for weekends.. try not to give him any more burdens.. and try to be more understandings.. Girls dun go thru such things.. and maybe that's why we dunno how does it feels like in ARMY! ehehehehe.. Laughing

All the best, girl! Mr. Green

Cheers! Wink

jOhO SG

how cool is that..

a guy speaking on the side of the girl and a girl speaking on the side of a guy.

how rare!! Laughing

ok we both need to combine our thoughts and this world would be perfect, hor?? Mr. Green

Parka SG

Yah. All the sleeping and slacking......Oppss...Out of point.

In NS. They have a chaotic organisation structure inside. Try to be more understanding. Talk with your bf more...Maybe it helps.......

curad SG

Very Happy Laughing i mean it's true lor...sometimes we get angry,we got 2 c the situation aso...coz being a couple is not tt easy as everyone noes...it includes alot of things mah...rite? Smile

Parka SG

I'm confused already/

jOhO SG

rite rite rite.

so can i have ur phone number? Laughing Rolling Eyes

jOhO SG

better to be confused here than when u study later rite?

noticed i said WHEN and not IF.. Twisted Evil

SunRisE SG

wah.. so fast..ask for number liao!!

So long is girl jOhO Bu Fang Guo! Twisted Evil

curad SG

well can pm mi? Smile

Parka SG

Waaah. All the girls scope up by jOhO already!! Twisted Evil

jOhO SG

wah...

yuan wang arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

curad SG

no since he ask we shld give him our number mah..my num is 63850411

Parka SG

Shocked

Parka SG

Verdict: Guilty.