hi guys first post! 
stumbled across this site, while surfing the net one day 
wow seems to be very popular......... anyways i dont live in
s'pore, although i was born there I live in Australia
now. Been visiting here a-lot now, reading a-lot of posts, I feel
so touched 
Although i dont
understand ur lingo anymore, well except the mandarin
Anyway bismark, I can share your frustration, cos your story sounds
similar to mine, i really dont know how u feel, but maybe if i
share my story it might be able to bang1 ni3?
My problem is with my mum. Since young, she just never has had a
very high opinion of me. Always scolding, never good enough lor,
nver smart enough lor, back then always screaming followed by
beatings all the time.
Her fave line Yong4 ni3 tou2 nao3 xiang3! I try so hard :
maths,piano, Chinese, eng. Has to 90+ fen she says. I could never
ever get there. Never as good as a Xing jia po hai zi. That was the
goal. I think back (im 19 now) Tong nian very tough man.
Dad neva used to help. Mum went to chinese school (nanyang girls)
he used to say. Father very strict, mother very tough. Understand
he pleaded. Make life easy he say. Despite the fact that she turned
on him too - even till today - tonight 10 yrs later, still the same
situation.
Schoolwork wasnt the only problem - It was the little things, like
refill water jug or washing dishes or cleaning the house. I would
try try so hard to get in ma's good graces........stay home on a
friday night to clean the house, wipe every surface with wet cloth,
vacuum with a vacuum cleaner (so loud made u go insane!) and then
mop with soapi water and bucket - start at 5pm, by time finish
11pm. Want to go out with friends..... cannot. Too late, too tired.
eat small bowl of noodles. Go have shower and then fall straight
into bed soooo exhaustd.
Wake up in middle of night to screaming from downstairs. Next thing
: hear this pair of feet pounding stairs and bedroom door being
flung open. There is my mum in doorway screaming at me about bowl
in snk. Now to a young kid this is very very frightening. Runs over
to my bed rips blanket of me and throws me out of bed and pretty
much throws me down the stairs to wash bowl.
I grew up very scared of parents after that. When you reach a
certain age fear---->anger. Thats how i can understand what u
write, bismark. I am oldest child i look at my younger brother, who
dont have to do anything, Since so young i wash clothes for him,
wash his dishes for him, slave and slave to clean the house. SO
ANGRY. I had to do all this all the while i was studying for Aust's
equivalent of ur A-lvls(final exams). So tired so exhausted every
week. I had to study yet i still had to pull all of this every
week.
I hadnt been going well at all. on verge of failing. This pressure
at home....... so great - BUT i didnt complain. I stayed at school
to study. Principal i knew well and so nice, so he kept a room at
skool open for me where in the last few months b4 exams i would
stay till 11pm at nite. I KNEW I WAS A SURVIVOR. Mum was ranting
and raving 'bout how i was a failure and she was already
disappointed. She didnt expect me to pass.
It was a struggle but i pulled it off. got abve average `75 % i was
so happy. Went to ma ma. Happily showed my mark.
Not impressed. Not even a congratulations despite the fact i even
got into sydney university.
Was so crushed 
Not to mention tired. I got no energy. Not even to eat. Lost
weight, and now i am sick.
Now got no energy to slave clean house, to do stuff i use todo. Not
even to study. Thats why im here late at nite riteing this. I was
also angry.
Was so angry, when i got my licence, i always trying to prove to
her i was good enough driver to drive. She always hide keys becos i
didnt clean house nemore and i crashed my car and nearly killed
myself. Crashed into another car very very very fast speed. I very
lucky one.
At the time it appeared she cared more abt car than eldest son. Was
so bitter.
that was 2 yrs ago. Now i am still sick. So obvious i was sick, but
no-one noticed except my ahyi. who took me to see doc cos i didnt
knoe what to do.
Now im on the right road. Still a while to go, My point is : No
matter what you feel - depressed upset sad angry : YOU ARE A
SURVIVOR.
There are ppl out there that feel the same way u do. Dont think ure
the only one. u and i go thu hell everyday, and u may think nobody
may understand u, but u are a survivor - u get up everyday and
still have the courage to face this......... Just do what uve been
doing and ignore it. Think about yourself and what u want to
achieve and eventually ull see past the pain
