you know wat's sometimes annoying about AA? when u come in late,
and see all the LONG replies, it's so tedious to read thru them so
i don't repeat wat's already mentioned, and add in things that
aren't there! 
but it's great how the few of us are generally sincere in helping.
keep it up~! 
right.. i skimmed thru all of the posts and generally agree with
the consensus.
MC2, about the reselling of the flat, AFAIK, the couple has to stay
married for 5 years while owning the flat. So keeping the flat
while not being married is out of the question. i'm not sure, i'm
sure they could clarify this with HDB.
now my comments: no one touched on D, the guy that's being
"unfairly treated".
if she back out now, she will have to
repay D the $30k
have to face criticism from colleagues...D told her
that he wun help her to cover up...if anyone asked, he will tell
them the truth... (chances are, she will be bad-mouthed)
she brings hurt to him..
she has to pick herself up & live a life without
D...no one to pamper her anymore..
cannot face him in future cos they working in the
same company..
It seems to me that while D is a great guy, there seems to be
something amiss. he may treat her well, but may not have that
matured a thinking. i'm sure he knows that by forcing her to marry
him for watever reason (flat, becos he loves her) isn't a very wise
thing to do. from your post, it almost seems like the guy is giving
her an ultimatum, "marry me or else...."
now that just doesn't seem to go down right with me. of course i'm
not saying that the guy, if he truly loves her, should just set her
free, but forcing the issue isn't gonna help. it's not love when it
has to be forced. she oviously doesn't love him in that way, and he
has to accept that, and not force her to love him back. of course,
i don't deny pple that get married for reasons other than love, and
these pple have my utmost pity.
back to your firend, A. well like the rest, i feel that this should
be a lesson learnt. WHAT she can do from now beats the hell out of
me, but getting married (now) is definitely out of the question. i
stand by MC2's opinion on this.
perhaps she could try the relationship somemore, but not get
married yet. i do not know the financial implications of this
(screw the social implications, colleagues can talk all they want)
but information on that (HDB most likely) can be easily obtained.
one obvious question to ask is whether the deposit could be used in
the future because they do not want to get married yet.
i don't like the chances of them ever mutually loving each other,
but it's not impossible. if they do decide to try again, she will
have to open her heart, and i believe learning to love someone is
possible. however i believe that when a break-up occurs, it's
always hard, if not impossible to get it back. what with that huge
deposit looming over their heads, and the heartache of a cancelled
marraige, the odds just seem too skewed.
now, another point that no one has mentioned. it's about YOU
cutie~!
we know u are worried sick for ur friend, and in ur retort to
delusion (his nick suits him) i can see that u are offended at the
insensitivity towards your friend's problem, which in turn
communicates the concern you have for her. however you are not
there to solve her problems, but to be her strength to carry her
thru. i hope u will not attempt to rectify the sh[/i]it (for want
of a better word) that she has gotten herself in, but rather to
give her the strength so that she can go thru this. of course in
future, you'd do well to remind her if she still has problems with
getting into relationships which aren't suitable for her. (heaven
forbid! she should learn her lesson by now!)
you can only do so much. she's obviously scared and depressed. if
you become like her becos of her, i'm sure she'll feel worse.
best luck and wishes to her, and to you also.
