One of the most difficult decisions you could ever make is the
one that moves a solid friendship onto the unstable foothold
offered in a dating relationship. Before I even get into ways to
approach a friend you have romantic interest in, let's talk about
the-
Risks vs. benefits
Keeping your friend - Your friend
is someone you can talk to freely, spend time with enjoyably, and
someone who isn't likely to walk out of your life in a
heartbeat.
Losing your friend - Most
relationships in your life will come to pass. It's a hard, cold
fact that makes the decision of dating a friend very
difficult.
Understand the risks - You are
considering the option of sacrificing your friendship for something
more - something closer. You could lose your friend forever.
Realize the potential -
Relationships are strongest when bound together on the foundation
of friendship. You already know and are comfortable with each
other, so getting closer isn't such a mind game. Most importantly,
if you have a solid friendship, you respect each other. I think
respect is the missing element in dating in the 90's.
Applying for the job - Now what?
You've made the decision to move forward, take the risks in stride,
and go for the gold! How do you do it with the least risk of losing
a friend? I'm going to offer several suggestions for ways in which
you might "reframe" your friendship to grow into something
more.
The Direct Method - This is my
favorite 
,
and simply means coming out and telling your friend how you feel.
It's important to leave the door to your current friendship open.
"My feelings for you are changing. I value our friendship, and I
can remain a good friend to you if that's all you want. You don't
have to say anything now, but I wanted to tell you how I feel." It
is important to be prepared for the possibility that your feelings
are not going to be returned. Your friend may want to remain your
friend.
The Mildly Indirect Method - As a
red rose symbolizes love, and a yellow rose symbolizes friendship,
get one of each and either deliver them in person or someplace
where they'll be found; i.e.: Stick some in his gym bag, send them
to her school/class, put them in his mailbox, or tuck them under
her windshield wipers. Make sure the note you leave is friendly,
not sultry. Keep it light and simple, with a touch of something
more.
Whatever you decide, keep a few things in mind when dating your
frien
Don't lose/give up the respect factor. ALWAYS respect your
friend, even as a date.
Keep things slow and simple. Don't rush right into a
physical relationship. Grow closer. Let love develop - it DOES
develop, just not overnight. Don't do anything you are going to
regret.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS acknowledge the friendship as
something that still exists. Your friendship did not end, it was
built upon. Someday that building might collapse in the wake of an
earthquake, so make sure you don't neglect the foundation - perhaps
it will not have crumbled.
Finally, a note from the Master...
Friends are forever but lovers are temporary 
