this was something u said to me... towards the end of
us...
we met..nearly 4 years ago... i remember that i didn't have a good
impression of you at that time... you were much too quiet... and
that goofy grin of yours.. i didn't like it at all, i used to think
it was rather irritating... but... it grew to be something i loved
about you....
middle of 1998... it was the beginning of us...
we started seeing each other very often... because our mutual
friend "Al" just broke up with his gf.. and we were both there,
supposedly to be around for him, to comfort and console him.. it
was during this time.. that we started talking.. and when we stayed
over at Al's place.. we'd spend the entire night talking... after
Al knocked out.. from all the alcohol...
i remember the night it all started... Al had already knocked
out... but both of us were still awake.. we were lying in bed...
talking... u told me about the past year.. about how u felt for
me.. but i was with someone else.. and how difficult it was for you
when you knew... you said alot more... and then... u turned towards
me... looked deeply into my eyes... and lightly lightly kissed
me..
it was the first time in my entire life... that i can finally use
the word "magical"... it was something i thought i would only read
about in story books... but it happened to me...that night...
we became a couple.. an item... it was the most natural thing to
happen...
we would talk all the time... shared every single detail of our
past... there is nothing that we couldn't talk about... and we'd
gotten to understand each other so well... that sometimes, we don't
even need to say anything.. and we'd both know what the other is
thinking.. or is about to say. we'd spend so much time together...
going out with other friends... or just being by ourselves... it
didn't matter where we are... or who we are with... just being next
to you... is bliss in itself...
for the first time in my life, i knew, for sure... that you are the
ONE. i was only 21... but there was no one else.. that could make
me feel, the way you make me feel... i was contented, with all the
simple pleasures of life...with you. i don't need you to bring me
to expensive places, when a simple night out with you means so much
more to me. i don't need expensive gifts... when a call from you,
or a kiss, would do more than anything material could.
the best thing, you did for me... was... all the times that you
would come over to my place on saturday mornings, get my mum to let
you in... and just sit beside me... while i was still sleeping..
and be the very first thing i see when i open my eyes.... you
probably have no idea.. what those mornings meant to me... there
was nothing else that i wanted.. than to be able to do that...
everyday.. for the rest of my life...
and... the happiest, most blissful day in my life.. even up till
now was with you. it was during our short trip in malaysia.. in
december 1998... we were in penang, staying in a hotel by the
sea... the name of the hotel was paradise... that morning... i was
awake just before sunrise... you had your arms around me.. still
sleeping... i was looking out the window.. watching.. as the sky
and the sea, turn from dark blue.. to a lighter shade of blue.. and
finally... the sun peeking out from the horizon... i never thought
it could be humanly possible to feel so in love.. so
contented...
i guess... no one is suppose to have so much happiness in their
lives... i guess i've had too much.. and that it was unfair...
because.. things fell apart. u got too caught up in the rat race...
to earn more.. to achieve more... u said it was so that u could
give me more. i didn't need that... but i guess you did. or....
perhaps... you've gotten tired of me... suddenly... what we used to
be contented with.. wasn't enough for you anymore... from the
heights of heaven... i fell... into the depths of hell... i no
longer felt loved.. i felt neglected... unwanted... and...out of a
moment of impulse... i said i wanted to break up...
after our break up... you seemed to care more about me... you
started to put in effort.. into trying to reviving the old
relationship we had... i was still very disappointed in you... i
wanted to give us another chance... but i didn't want to be
disappointed again so soon......
maybe fate was toying with us... someone else came into my life...
although i could never ever love him as i did for you... i was with
him.. because he touched me with his sincerity then...
but u didn't give up... u continued in your efforts to prove to me
that you still treasured us.. i'd always remember you saying...
that i am the person you love most... you've waited a year before
we were together... and u'd still wait... until the day we'd be
together again... because u said.. i'm worth the wait...
a few months later... i knew i couldn't deny myself any longer...
it was still you that i love most... and you were still around...
it was difficult times... but... finally... i did leave the other
guy.
i wanted to be with you again... you didn't seem any different...
but.. very soon... i found out from another friend, that you
already have another girlfriend.. you didn't even wanted to let me
know... i confronted you with it... u didn't deny it... and u still
said.. that i am the person you love most...
i wanted to leave for good... but you wouldn't let me... this
dragged on and on.... much more longer than it should have... you
told me u didn't want to hurt her.. but you don't want to let me
leave either... i was, and still is... the person you love most...
only this time.. you added this sentence.."sometimes, the person
you marry, may not be the person you love most".....
we no longer see each other anymore... things between us have
gotten beyond repair... i don't suppose we'd ever see each other
again... much less talk...
but... i'd never forget this relationship... i've never thought it
was possible for anyone to feel the love i had felt... i still
occassionally get into a daze... thinking about the happier times
we had together... i know, i'd never be able to feel this way about
anyone else... i cannot explain why.. after all the hurt and pain
you've caused me.. i can still feel this way about you...
i am 24 this year... i know, very soon... it would be time for me
to settle down... to be with someone else... and... start my own
family... now.. i fully understand what you mean.. when you
said..."sometimes, the person you marry, is not the person you love
most..."
all i want to say now is.... thank you.. for letting me feel what
it means to love... the way no one else could ever make me feel..
not every story would have a happy ending... i know mine would
definitely never have a happy ending... but... to be able to feel
the love.. the magic.. to have felt what it meant to be in
heaven....to have had felt it the way i did.... so deeply... is
something i should be thankful for....
For everyone in the forum 
