"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."
As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an
ambulance
sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency
medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney.
"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were
trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with
blood.
"Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may
die."
I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I
arrived,
the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and
also his heartbeat also stopped.
"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving
people
is our duty. We can't and shouldn't lose our calm. But when I saw
who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my
BOYFRIEND!
"NO..." I stood in shock. "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and
continuously shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from
the shocks. The scared nurses went to find another doctor, to tell
him that I was crazy. I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just
wanted to save my lover. Even though we fought all the time. Even
though he never showed me his love. I still wanted to save him. He
still owed me a card. He couldn't die!
I threw away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I
pressed
with all my strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't
wake
up. He didn't even say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes
closed, punishing me with his silence.
Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see
clearly anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could
come out of my mouth.
"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr.
Jian
patted me on the shoulder. They knew each other and ate
together
once. I introduced them.
"He can't die." I shook my head. "He can't die!!" I struggled to
run to
him.
"Dr. SHU, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me. "I understand
what
you're going through, but you're a doctor."
Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr.
Jian
understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that
it's
become a habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he
still
owed me a card.
"I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again
and
tried to knock the life back into his body.
"Take her away!"
That day, I lost my control and my professionalism. And that
day
happened to be Valentine's Day.
Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that
day.
They told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call
me
several times but couldn' reach me. Worried, he drove to the
hospital to find me and got hit by a large truck on the way. When I
heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an
unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be
childish. Like an abandoned cat,I couldn't even cry anymore.
After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how
touching
the plot or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect
me
anymore. I turned on computer after a year later, even though I
know no one will send me a mail, I still hoped that someone will
remember me on this day.
GOSH....I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me
100 junk mail? I was just about to delete them all when I received
another mail, and this one said: "Because of system error, we could
not send these until today. We apologize for the delay." The sender
was my BOYFRIEND!!!
I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send date is last
year's
Valentine's Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he have
sent
these? With a trembling hand, I opened the mail. The first thing
that
popped up was a gorgeous red rose set against green leaves. Then a
beautiful melody began to play...."Only Love". I couldn't believe
it.
The rose was so beautiful and the music was so dreamy. I almost
thought I was in a fantasy. Most touching of all were the words
underneath the rose, because the words read like a beautiful
poem.
"Only love can make a memory.
Only love can make a moment last.
You were there and all the world was young
and all it's songs unsung.
and I remember you then when love was all,
all you were living for,
and how you gave that love to me...."
The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was
alive,my world was so young. Every day, I could find a something
different to fight with him about. But after he left, my life is
only left with memories and coldness that will never go away.When I
read these words, my tears unconsciously came, wetting the
keyboard.
I replied 100 times, and "Only Love" played 100 times. In this
cold
Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for LAST ONE
YEAR
finally got RECONNECTED.
=====================================================
*sob* 
