Hello Ande,
This is gonna be a long post, so i hope u will bear with it. May go
offtrack a bit too cos will just type what i feel and think. Hope
you don't mind.
Well I can see that u keep 'falling in love' with pple during yr
poly days. U mentioned b4 a few relationships in yr poly days, oh
mine and thats a lot of relations! Abt one every yr or more? Maybe
u wasn't serious into serious relationship then, and that you just
need some1 there to talk and care for you only. Guess u like the
feeling of being love by some1. So, failed relationships are bound
to happen then, cos i think the main problem lies in you
yrself...... dun mind i say that. And yes of cos i do agree wif
you, age plays an important part. You are just not ready
then.
Well think things just got worst for you in NS, i mean yr need to
be love and some1 2 talk to as days goes by in the army i suppose
(most guys went through this stage, including me, so we know what
it is like, esp in the beginning part). And i totally agree with
DIM SUM (he gave some really excellent reply, really 
). If you are prepared to let the ger know that you like
them, be prepared for the worst, cos things can go either way. Or
if you are happy just being a friend of hers, then keep quiet. But
well, i know it won't be easy, and no guys, i mean most guys could
not stand seeing the ger he like behaving intimating with other
guys, so its not easy being friends also. But then, in yr post, i
get the impression that you are rushing things a little too fast in
some of the relationship, am i rite to say that?
Now that completed yr studies and NS, maybe its really a good time
for you to reflect yrself a little and see if you are prepared to
go into relationships. Don't let the past affect you cos its part
and parcel of growing up. Many guys went through all the stuffs you
went through b4, and i am one of them. Its never easy to forget
some1 or the hurts u get b4 but try not to think of it. It wun help
u in anyway or do you any good.
Okie, now lets take a look at yr problem now.
1) If you are scared of being rejected, well then don't approach
them cos you are not prepared for that. Wait until u r serious (cos
if u really like some1, i am sure somehow we will find oppotunities
and chances to know the person better, we are no longer sec sch
kids are we? ).
2) Regain yr confident slowly. I mean it aren't gonna come just
like that. Once you start yr 1st step and the ger got response, yr
confident will slowly come back.
3) Some gers who u like, oh my god! Aren't there suppose to be one
only? Think u r seriously not prepared for a relationship yet. If
you know that you dun stand even a 1% chance (cos you know they dun
like you), i will suggest keeping quiet cos you may end up losing
more friends only. Humans only compared abt looks and other things
with other guys only when he is not confident or at the losing end.
This is only an excuse to make one forget abt the ger. Actually we
know this fact: If the ger like the guy, somehow it doesn't matter
if he is tall handsome or anything. You yrself know this too, even
if you can't compare with other guy in other fields, yr love for
the ger will definitely win over all matters. Errmmm get what i am
trying to say (paiseh my english not powerful).
4)If you do not know what to look for in a relationship, then don't
go for one for the sake of going into one, cos you r just not
prepared to have one! Wait for yr Ms Right, i mean the real Ms
Right to come b4 you do anytime. Meantime, like i mention earlier,
take this time to reflect past experiences, see where and what went
wrong.
Everyone in the world wish to be with the one he/she truely love,
of cos. But, the world is never plan in such a way that u will get
what u want. How to widen social circle? Hmmm..... good qns,
heh...... i donnoe myself. Though the net is a good way but i
personnally dun believe lor. Cos many crappy pple ard (in irc maybe
:p ), maybe other pple think i am one of them too, heh, who
knows.........
Think the best way is still get to know yr friends' friends........
sorry can't help u much in this aspect. Nevertheless, wishing you
all the best in yr future relationships. Take care oso.
Regards
------------------
nOthiNg iS ImpOsSibLE In tHiS wOrLd
EvEn tHe wOrD ImPoSsiBLe SaYs "i'M pOsSiBLe"
[This message has been edited by Atti (edited 09 February
2001).]
